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A U.S. Senator was almost hit by a train during a commuter safety press conference.
ICYMI: A guy arrested for drug possession made the entire courtroom crack up when they heard his last name.
Gwyneth Paltrow, and a bunch of famous ladies who can stand to be near her, squeeze together for a selfie.
5 Things You Should At Least Pretend To Know Today - April 19, 2014.
You have more in common with Our Lord than you think:
This chimpanzee building a fire and roasting marshmallows is oddly fascinating.
A New Jersey woman's '8THEIST' license plate was rejected, and she's making a federal case out of it.
Goat sneezes on woman, woman loses her freaking mind.
The 13 funniest tweets we had time to find today.
This well-mannered pig asking for salad will make you feel a little bad about Easter ham this Sunday.
Church's reenactment of Good Friday ends in horribly embarrassing crucifixion mishap.
On the bright side, you won't have to be annoyed by these people in heaven:
Easter eggs will be even tougher to find this year:
A neighborhood put up this billboard to try and stop people from pooping in their children's playgrounds
This kid eloquently expresses his hatred for poetry through the magic of verse.
A thoroughly accurate review of the Scarlett Johansson movie "Lucy" based on nothing but the trailer.
5 totally weird things that actually happened this week.
'Muppet Christ Superstar' has arrived just in time for 420 Easter.
An exclusive interview with The Worst Commenter On Every Facebook Post.
One reason you wish you still had a teacher telling you what to do:
You're gonna feel like a real a-hole for laughing at Lindsay Lohan's sex list once you see this.
Chelsea Clinton's pregnancy is positive for at least one reason:
This is exactly how high you should get this Sunday: