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I’m convinced that those at work who drum on every available surface incessantly killed things as a child.
Just because I don't wear a suit doesn't mean I'm not a professional.
"Serving size: half sandwich." Really, ice-cream sandwich manufacturers? I know what you're doing. And I don't like it
I hate being sick. #boo
Good afternoon my bitches. Ol Sinastr is hungry this afternoon. What are you eating for dinner??
My mom learning how to use twitter is like the raptors figuring out how to open doors in Jurassic Park.
I think my guardian angel drinks
@DepressedDarth: Darth Maul: The only man to ever kill Liam Neeson
Whether you're a quarter mile away or half way across the world we will always be family. And you will always be my brother #Fast7
"This is the one I use for wiping" - Handshakes
@PaleoNick: Did you know that the winner of the CrossFit Open Women 40-44 works for Paleo Nick? That's right,…
BASEBALL! All the excitement of football squeezed conveniently into 162 five-hour games!
@LSUBaseballEQ: Tonight the pants are coming up in honor of Tiger great Wally Pontiff Jr. #31always
@AmandaLGS: Liar, liar pants are on fire! 😳”
@redheadrocking: Autocorrect wants to correct fuck to duck and duck to suck. I think it's bipolar.”
Some friends of mine need a little help in their adoption process. Bringing Home Baby Beene | Adoption - YouCaring…
My safe word is "keep going." It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!
@TheSingle_Girl_: When being naughty in the bedroom equals taking a chocolate bar upstairs to eat in bed #dietsruined #singlelife
Thanks iPhone autocorrect, I'm sure my dad wanted to know that I miss going on our weekend fisting trips.
Train your wife!! Here's how:
If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food.
I had an hour to kill so I watched the last two minutes of a basketball game today
My wife and I are working on our marriage. She's more attentive to my needs and I've mostly stopped telling other women I'm a single father.
@redheadrocking: If I wanted to date a tractor, I'd pick this one. This is his only pic on his profile.
@RedShtick: Study: 10 Minutes of Watching Porn is Equivalent to an Hour of Couples Therapy…
@JasonFerruggia: If you give a shit what other people think you're destined for a life of mediocrity and unhappiness.”
Forever is a mighty long time.
@Sinastr @MindyMoo Probably Sinastr entangled him into "13 Sins" game , case matching evidences " New Orleans" "incognitive Sinastr"
Retweeted by sinastr
It's funny I'm asked if I've had any luck on the site. Um. I'm still here. What do you think? #singlelife #onlinedating #dating
Retweeted by sinastr
Best thing a woman can say is "you're right"
Why is it every car in the movies needs a brake job.
@MindyMoo: Do you know this man? He steals packages off of porches. Near S. Prieur/Jefferson 3/11/15"
I've had a shitty week. I either want to curl up in the fetal position or the fecal position.
All my coworkers are having fruit breaks. I didn't bring a fruit, so I'll just go hang with the gay guy in the reception.
@redheadrocking: Cuter than his pics but so country boy. Hmmmm. We shall see... #onlinedating #dating” follow her to see the #singlelife