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Some friends of mine need a little help in their adoption process. Bringing Home Baby Beene | Adoption - YouCaring…
My safe word is "keep going." It's led to some HILARIOUS miscommunications let me tell you!
@TheSingle_Girl_: When being naughty in the bedroom equals taking a chocolate bar upstairs to eat in bed #dietsruined #singlelife
Thanks iPhone autocorrect, I'm sure my dad wanted to know that I miss going on our weekend fisting trips.
Train your wife!! Here's how:
If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food.
I had an hour to kill so I watched the last two minutes of a basketball game today
My wife and I are working on our marriage. She's more attentive to my needs and I've mostly stopped telling other women I'm a single father.
@redheadrocking: If I wanted to date a tractor, I'd pick this one. This is his only pic on his profile.
@RedShtick: Study: 10 Minutes of Watching Porn is Equivalent to an Hour of Couples Therapy…
@JasonFerruggia: If you give a shit what other people think you're destined for a life of mediocrity and unhappiness.”
Forever is a mighty long time.
@Sinastr @MindyMoo Probably Sinastr entangled him into "13 Sins" game , case matching evidences " New Orleans" "incognitive Sinastr"
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It's funny I'm asked if I've had any luck on the site. Um. I'm still here. What do you think? #singlelife #onlinedating #dating
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Best thing a woman can say is "you're right"
Why is it every car in the movies needs a brake job.
@MindyMoo: Do you know this man? He steals packages off of porches. Near S. Prieur/Jefferson 3/11/15"
I've had a shitty week. I either want to curl up in the fetal position or the fecal position.
All my coworkers are having fruit breaks. I didn't bring a fruit, so I'll just go hang with the gay guy in the reception.
@redheadrocking: Cuter than his pics but so country boy. Hmmmm. We shall see... #onlinedating #dating” follow her to see the #singlelife
@redheadrocking: Darlin', if you can't keep a conversation going, you won't keep my interest. #onlinedating #dating #singlelife
I get to my doctor appointments 45 minutes late so I can get there on time.
@Sinastr It's none of the above. Its just hideous #killit
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@Soupie303: Holocaust victims were exaggerating #OffendEveryoneIn4Words
@gtoyourhead: The Beatles are terrible. #OffendEveryoneIn4Words
Grease 3 is better than Grease 2 #OffendEveryoneIn4Words
@ashleylaughbox: The male lead in Grease 2 is much hotter than John Travolta.”
#OffendEveryoneIn4Words Facebook beats Twitter everytime
#OffendEveryoneIn4Words pizza is greatly overrated
@rozp0505: What does it mean if I see the dress as red and purple?
@RonanRant: I don't trust a homeless guy with a short haircut.”
@awkwardposts: When someone grading your paper ask the teacher Does it count if they put
@cotydankh: breaking news: i don't fuck with u”
You know those days when you're happy & you absolutely have zero road rage & you let people cut in front of you? Today's not one of those!
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@Sinastr just heard someone say, does #TheDress make my but look big. Wrong answer
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