Road trip to Miami today what is your favorite road trip jams
I see a planet fitness bumper sticker all I think of is that it's a cheap son of a bitch
this weekend. You will be honored to get live tweets from a wedding. I'm lying my wife would kill me for tweeting at her sisters wedding
Impress me and you will go far in life.
Comedy is subjective. So if you don't think I'm funny. Fuck you.
Our lives would have been different if you would have just said yes
So news channel 4 actually just showed the suspect dead on live t.v #nashville #Antioch
Police were on scene within 2 minutes. #Nashville
Amelia Earfart was the first woman to transatlantic fart around the world. it was silent but deadly.
I do most of my lying when I'm trying to get off the phone
The internet is down at work. I took my top off and lit a campfire. Coyotes are near. I'll sacrifice Todd from HR. How do you hunt rabbit?
When i hear president Obama speak about #climatechange
all I hear is blah blah blah
When and what was the last CD you bought. A real CD not a download.
In the beginning you should be all about each other. If it's destined for greatness it will always be that way. #DatingAdvice
All eyes on you is what I feel like every time I walk outside my house nude to get the newspaper. Yes I read the damn newspaper
I think we need to make #sinastrnation
a team for the 2024 Olympics. Any takers? What sports I you want??
we will have a new First Lady every time the "old" one turns 35.
I am calling for reinstatement of common sense and the politics of America
giving shooter a hashtag is giving killer desired fame
If your gas pumps don't want to use my card I don't want to use your gas pumps
Black Mass Shooters: Rare Gunmen - The Root. I think these 7 are mentally ill also. theroot.com/photos/2013/09…
we need more help for the mentally ill.
In a lot of homes today lol twitter.com/jessicagottlie…
can do what ever he wants. And it takes courage yes. But did he deserve the #ESPY #ESPYAwards #Caitlyn
If your favorite television show got canceled what would you do
If you could pick any animal to P on you what animal would it be
All of this hate from the religious establishments are pushing people away from them. #LoveWins #religion