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Seth MacFarlane
Hi, can you tell me tonight's specials but without using any adjectives please.
Retweeted by Seth MacFarlane
Hasselhoff in #Ted2 today Hoffin' it up
Congrats to the crew of "American Dad!" for being the most watched show on cable for the night w/ its season premiere on TBS!
You're right, moral arbiters. We shouldn't comment on the looks of someone on a red carpet who is literally posing for photographers.
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There are only two syllables in "Hello," office workers. Doesn't have to be a whole production.
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How did great TV shows ever get made without the input of the internet?
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If you put a knife to my throat I could not tell you what "Pinterest" is.
The new season of American Dad premieres tonight on TBS!
"Unfollowed." Yeah, nobody cares.
I hope someone has a pair of jeans tattooed onto their legs. I hope there's a person on this planet who's fucked up their life in that way.
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I don't care for Carl's Jr.'s new slogan "Eat this right now, you goddamn spineless piece of shit."
Every group of friends needs the person willing to break the post-movie silence with a "Whadja think?" That person's a loser, but necessary.
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I think the only reason I wanted to be an astronaut in the 1960's was because there are no bees in space.
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That's enough with the Marilyn Monroe, people.
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Climate change is currently a far greater threat to us than Ebola. Let's be productive and shit our pants about that instead. Go on. Shit.
Will be interesting to see if Michigan joins Arizona, Texas, and Virginia in the criminally transparent practice of banning Teslas. #idiocy
Whatever people who own bird stores are hoping will happen is probably not going to happen.
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Yes mixologist, I'd much rather wait an extra ten minutes to get drunk while I watch you pretend this is Benihana.
"Pears: We're either way too hard or completely rotten. Brought to you by pears, the fuck you fruit."
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The only thing that can stop Ebola is a black and white video of celebrities looking at the camera and solemnly saying "Stop Ebola".
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RT @CelebrityOxford: @SethMacFarlane Super important question: where do you stand on the use of the Oxford Comma? // Staunchly pro.
"This is the message that will eventually reach an estimated 200 billion stars." onion.com/ZGsd2J pic.twitter.com/vP0hqzD6W8
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John Slattery was brilliant as usual today in #Ted2
Congratulations to my uber-talented pal @ActuallyNPH on hosting the Oscars! They could not have made a better choice, except Mickey Rourke.
Thank you, head & chest cold. I sound like Kate Mulgrew.
Buzzfeed is the Florida of the internet.
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[American Voices] Flight Attendants Sue FAA To Reinstate Cell Phone Ban onion.com/1vdtElD #WhatDoYouThink?
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Occasionally the fluff media gets it right. Let science do science, and stay out of its way. m.huffpost.com/us/entry/59896…
Hey Texas, stop beating around the bush and say what you really mean: All voters should be required to name the entire cast of "Friends."
Gays should be exempt from Ebola since we got stuck with the other thing.
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RT @BekaWrites: For the record, @SethMacFarlane : My husband and I have now watched #AMillionWays 6 times. // It strengthens marital bonds.
Amazon is opening its first physical store. It's everything you love about their website, without all the annoying convenience.
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Thanks to the awesome @HaysbertDennis for a great day of filming on Ted 2!
My Dad would come home from work and no matter how tired he was he’d take me to the park and hit balls to me for an hour. He loved golf.
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The Nina, Pinta & Santa Maria were, by far, the most tastefully-named boats ever owned by an Italian guy in his 40s.
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wow its crazy its like ur family is the best people and everyone else garbage wow
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RT@jarm_anski:@SethMacFarlane please tell me the slip during the glass bottle shooting scene was a happy accident #millionwaystodie /Fakery.
I scrolled past "Malala Wins Nobel Peace Prize" to click on "Horse Walks Into Police Station". I'm Damien Fahey and I'm part of the problem.
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I wish I had even half the balls of a crow standing in the road.
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RT @Julie90513: Why did Peter have to explain a Joe pesci joke, but not a love boat reference? // Everyone knows The Boat.
Just gonna keep blindly submitting "Well, I did it again, Martha" to the New Yorker caption contest until it makes sense and I win.
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Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust.
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I have reached the degree of exhaustion where I pray for the elevator to stall so I can curl up and take a nap.
The Internet is now a '70's movie theater in a bad neighborhood where people shout angry insults in the dark while watching porn.
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I wonder if this means "Dads" is coming back. pic.twitter.com/2T5bIfO7uU
Hey, Boeing, what's with the TV commercial?... How many of us do you think are in the market for a 787?
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