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Michelle Burnett
5,179 followers
Being a woman is cool because if you unexpectedly bump into a friend, you're able to make a noise like a tropical bird gargling with bones.
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When you sing "Let It Go" at me & I make this face & groan is greatest sign my meditation is working. #innerpeace pic.twitter.com/bvV34WtyXj
Forcing me into an extended private conversation while you clean your teeth with your tongue and finger is a fun way to get stabbed
I KID YOU NOT, SOMEONE JUST GOT A STAKE CALLING AS "DJ AT STAKE DANCES" THAT IS A REAL THING!
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Post more about how you are cutting back on social media!
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FUN PRANK: Get engaged at someone else's engagement party.
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Hey you guys. Enter to win some free peanut butter cups so I can get more entries to win free peanut butter cups. bit.ly/1h3Nepa
In heaven, you sit at a fancy table while 5-6 men bring you a continuous offering of Brazilian meats. @EstanciaAustin
NYC and SLC I'm coming for you and you better like it.
It's thundering a lot let's pray for the power to go out so I can go home.
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I'm at TXRD at the Palmer Events Center (Austin, TX) w/ 15 others 4sq.com/1iddphK
This is real life. #rollerderby danbagby thanks for the tickets do512! #austin #tx #dreamcometrueinstagram.com/p/mtcSu3EMrR/
Having a good time doing as many adventures in one day as possible #mauka for the win! #questival #cotopaxi #gearforgood @GearForGood #q173
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When you go to ask your coworker a question but you can't because he's asleep and then you post his pic on twitter pic.twitter.com/2xIKulRFpo
Nicolas Cage lost his virginity in New Orleans. We all heard that, right? #npr @NPR @MorningEdition
Game changer: 13 things you didn't know you could do on Spotify buzzfeed.com/azafar/13-thin…
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett