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Michelle Burnett
5,209 followers
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Breakfast tacos, helicopter ride and proposals of marriage. #isaidyes #engaged #pauladean @ Austin… instagram.com/p/sV3CN8kMrI/
rrexpress game with my boyfrann. Even better when the tickets are free. #austin #rrexpress #baseball @… instagram.com/p/sQ4ORVkMuu/
Friends don't let friends post half-naked before and after weight loss pictures on Facebook
Tired losing weight the healthy way? This ad will teach u all you need to know about buying hormones off the internet pic.twitter.com/Yf5vGRiLeZ
Canceled my Sunday night programming to watch this on repeat. pic.twitter.com/0GsKFh9KTv
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
I need someone who is a mom to explain to me the fad of cutesy pregnancy announcements. I feel like babies are pretty cute as-is.
Once at church I opened my eyes during prayer and saw Jesus riding around on a wolf making sure everyone’s eyes were closed.
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
Walmart doesn't offer a lot of open check stands, but it does offer a lot of smells. #walmartguarantee #galveston
Even the mega wealthy can't pass up a good @Groupon pic.twitter.com/N0WfDPbDIR
Gluten free pumpkin pancakes with butter pecan sauce and Nutella. I'm dating Paula Dean. #diabetesinstagram.com/p/rQf06OkMtL/
While the 9-11-esque poster is definitely in poor taste, I'm most offended by the picture of the sweaty adult turtle. bbc.com/news/entertain…
The expression "make her my wife" always makes me feel like it's going to be a chloroform thing. #TheBachelorette
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
Be assertive and ask for what you want. Unless you're a woman in the workplace and don't want people making cat noises at you.
Do I hate you because you're terrible? Or are you terrible because I hate you?
Rice Krispy treats are a good breakfast because cereal
I don't want to guess the gender of your baby.
Music & jewelry are meant to be shared! RT this to enter to win a #KSglamrocks tank & our Charlsea Pendant Necklace! pic.twitter.com/CcrFtEQKYH
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
Some girl shaved her legs and then went crabbing and contracted a flesh eating bacteria.
"He texts me every day." "That's a good sign! He's watering the garden!" =Interpreting a match.com date.
"That is super acco-taco" is a cool thing I just heard some girl say
Other girls' girl talk is ridiculous.
Now, the moment you’ve been waiting for: The Lineup By Day & Single-Day Passes are HERE! aclfest.co/1zIK4nA pic.twitter.com/FEXDX4UnQU
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
"The breakdown is when a woman doesn't know who she is. And she settles for less." --Dr. Mable John, in '20 Feet From Stardom'
Retweeted by Michelle Burnett
My first cake from the #wiltoncakes decorating class! This shiz is hard. #cakeselfiesweeps with @DanBagby instagram.com/p/qdG2SCkMkJ/
Pathway Program = inexpensive online degree that will make all your dreams come true.
Many of us came to church to discuss the gospel and feel the spirit, but, you know. I guess this is a thing too. #lds #singlesward 🔫
Sacrament meeting topic in the #singlesward is a sales pitch for the BYU Idaho Pathway Program. Most of us are college educated. #lds
Oh, you're in the elders quorum presidency? You must be impressive. Let's get married now. #singlesward #testimonymeeting #lds
"Are you sure you two are dating? Because you look like brother and sister." #notsure #kissingcousins #alcoholism
I think a good way to celebrate our nation's independence is to stop calling it 'Merica.
America. Also Germany. (@ Surfenburg at @Schlitterbahn New Braunfels) 4sq.com/VLrj3J
Super impressed with the customer service/social media peeps at @twice. Great experience getting help on an order. Love when that happens.
#tbt to that time I was in NYC. I'd like to go back now thanks. @ Top Of The Rock NYC instagram.com/p/qAZ7gCkMtx/
Date ideas: 1) lie detector #check 2) I sit while 4 men pedal their butts off so I can enjoy the Belgium countryside pic.twitter.com/OhDm7lP4gh
#TheBachelorette is a rockstar at getting guys to work super hard while she does nothing by calling it a "date" pic.twitter.com/Mz10uDQh2V
Attention stalkers: it turns out when someone blocks your number you can still leave a voicemail. Creep on, weirdos!
When someone calls your office and insists you make them a burger basket. #wrongnumber #threetimes #stillthewrongnumber
Should have taken a photo of the homemade vase. instagram.com/p/p2X-EmEMga/