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Richard Lindesay
Surely there couldn't be a PM called Ed. That would be like having one called Kevin.
Just called the international date line. They said to call back yesterday.
Maybe a slight lack of awareness from whoever came up with this abbreviation for Kaukapakapa?
My main shop is at Asda then I top up at Waitrose #ThingsJesusNeverSaid
Yeah I'd say it's at least average sized #LiesEveryoneTells
What do you get if you cross a policeman with Jesus? The policeman gets annoyed at both you and Jesus.
I think my proctologist is addicted to crack
Doing 26 jokes at @ClassicComedyNZ on Wednesday before heading off to Sydney…
So who won the cricket thing
Teenage Richard's 10 Step Retail Sales Advice. Prepare to be amazed.…
I used to think it was hambags
I think NZ may have won a sports thing
Three questions: 1 How many Walkers have you killed 2 How many people have you killed 3 Why
Lovely pic of my MacBook Air sitting on his Grandad's lap.
Visiting NZ and most of all looking forward to frequent visits to @CoffeeLabNZ
Off to NZ/Aus soon so thought I should set some serious goals. Me being so serious and all.…
Denver, the last dinosaur...
I swear to God and he doesn't like it #ChurchyPuns
I don't mind Americans having guns but think it should be a choice - gun OR passport
At trendy coffee shop and six people have their laptops out, and one of them is a PC! Embarrassing...
Why did the person from Watford cross the road? Nothing else to do.
When are they going to invent 2D glasses, so you can see the world as flat?
Retweeted by Richard Lindesay
My friend who lives in the Himilayas recently dropped out of school. Fell to his death.
I just bought: 'A Fistful of Clones' by Seaton Kay-Smith @seatonks - Interesting and fun read!…
Slight mismatch of technologies at around 30 years difference
Love this stuff. I call it Soldier Fried Chicken, because it's not quite the Colonel.
Bought a book on Amazon called The Dictionary. Gave it one star. Too many naughty words.
Two doctors were operating on an ebola patient when a heated argument broke out. Bad blood between THEM.
Performing at @Backyard_Comedy on Thursday, one of my favourites and not just because of the great pizza.
Looking forward to Diana's coronation #PredictionsInThe90s
Person- Are you watching Home and Away this afternoon Me- No I'm going to tape it Person- What's tape got to do with it?

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