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Elizabeth Windsor
entertainment humour london 1,171,140 followers
Text from Camilla: "£50 for eight legs of venison?! That's two deer! BOOM! LOLZ!" Not replying.
Today one will mostly be reigning. #StillReigning
Camilla's applying for a fracking licence for the Clarence House garden. She's already bought a road drill. #fracking
Monday is cancelled, due to lack of interest. #BackToBed
Just screw it. It's a screw top. Just sodding twist it. #CommonwealthGames
Text from Camilla: "PMSL! AWKWARD! Remind one not to rely on him to open a bottle of gin!" #CommonwealthGames
"Open the baton". That's all he had to do. Open the sodding baton. Jesus, it's a sodding screw top. #CommonwealthGames
Get the sodding Bentley. One's outta here. #CommonwealthGames
One's gonna reign on your parade. No, one won't take it again. And one'll keep reigning, reigning, reigning over you. #StillReigning
One's horse, Estimate, has tested positive for morphine. One knew that sodding horse was looking shifty!
And The Lord said, "Let there be sunshine" and there was sunshine. And The Lord said, "Let there be gin" and it was Gin O'Clock. #GinOClock
"So Australia is a continent and we own ALL of it?! OMFG!" What Prince George thought of his first year:… #MSN
Mrs "Call Me Carole" Middleton on the phone. Wanting to check we're not wearing the same outfit to George's party. Would have thought not.
It's Prince George's 1st Birthday today. William said not to get him anything expensive, so we've bought him Italy.
Text from Ed Miliband: "Good and wide-ranging discussion with Obama". Text from President Obama: "Who the hell is Ed Miliband?!" Awkward.
Text from Camilla: "Sweating like a glass blower's arse". Awkward.
Mr Clegg on the phone. Whilst Mr Cameron has been reshuffling the Cabinet, he's been clearing out the shed. Says it's going well. #reshuffle
Seeing ministers sacked. Best day of the year. Best day of the year by a country mile. #reshuffle
Text from Mr Cameron: "Up early for a quick shuffle". One hopes he's talking about the Cabinet. #reshuffle
William Hague on the phone. He's resigning as Foreign Secretary in order to spend less time with Mr Cameron, apparently. #reshuffle