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Elizabeth Windsor
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Is one's first book still available? You can bet your arse it is:
Mr Osborne, give that hair back to that Lego man this instant. You look ridiculous.
President Putin on the phone. He's taken his bubble car for a drive but is worried he's taken a wrong turn. Awkward.
Ok America, book buying time:… No President Bush, there are no pictures to colour in.
We told him it was a yacht. Awkward.
Described by the Archbishop of Canterbury as "better than the bible": #True
It's a deal, it's a steal, it's the sale of the century: #StillReigning
We actually had to call in the armed forces to remove Barbara Windsor from Downing Street today. Bit awkward.
Can't believe someone's started a sodding parody account.
Great Britain, your Queen's book is available for you too: #YourQueenLovesYou
Text from Nick Clegg: "Can't believe Alvin Stardust has died. Loved the Chipmunks. I hope Simon and Theodore are ok"
Asked Angelina Jolie to form a Government. Said she'd think about it but not in coalition with Clegg or Farage.
One's new book. Described by the Duke of Edinburgh as "a bloody cracking read": #StillReigning
On reflection, one may have been a little overdressed for a walk with the corgis this afternoon.
One is absolutely delighted. Just off the blower to @Coral, having the lot on it being a girl *wink* #ad
Written in the days of the United Kingdom. It's virtually a collector's item.