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Paul Dudek
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Sad to say I'm going to miss Thanksgiving this year. But, I'm thankful for a job and I'm thankful for all the... fb.me/3Nz1rLqbl
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My favorite part of winter? June.
I posted a new photo to Facebook fb.me/1Ry7gPYB0
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The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
My car doesn't have a passenger airbag but don’t worry, if we get in an accident, all the McDonald's napkins in... fb.me/70gF9FZL9
Anything is possible with the right attitude and a sledgehammer.
I eat cake every day because I know somewhere out there, it's someone's birthday and I need to show respect.
I had to leave the bowling alley right in the middle of the game. I didn't have time to spare.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7' and 10' tall.
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
Thank you all for the birthday wishes! I am blessed indeed! Glad you're all enjoying my funny little one-liners... fb.me/1CopWkcfH
You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
Five second rule? What's the point of having an immune system if you're not going to use it?
Big shout out to all the spiders not building their webs at face level.
Next time you see someone wearing camouflage bump into them and say, "Oh, sorry, I didn't see you."
My box of Animal Crackers said, "WARNING: Do Not Eat if Seal is Broken." I open the box, and sure enough...
There's no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
I'm not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids.
According to serving sizes, I'm a family of 4.
I've been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don't know karate.
It's 2014 and somehow we still don't have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
Head and Shoulders should make a body wash called Everything Else.
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens.
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Are security guards at Samsung stores called Guardians of the Galaxy?
My bed has no frame and sits directly on the floor because under-bed monsters are just one less thing I have to worry about now.
Ziploc's idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different from mine.
And, yet another day I've gone without using calculus.
The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1 pm and 2015.
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
Every Chrysler commercial should begin with them apologizing for the PT Cruiser.
I posted a new photo to Facebook fb.me/4fXMrzfw4
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