Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want a page like this?
Patton Oswalt
The best show tonight is happening on your TV. We are bringing you stand-up by @fluffyguy, @pattonoswalt, @DavidSpade, and @JimGaffigan.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I wrote this piece for Rolling Stone. I'm wearing a sweater in my photo so you know I'm smart. rollingstone.com/culture/featur…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Get some rest now, Netflix original series @BoJackHorseman goes live at midnight Pacific time! pic.twitter.com/206Lsu8tpk
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Total Doh’vastation has arrived. Watch #EverySimpsonsEver on FXX & join us as we live tweet the ENTIRE MARATHON amp.twimg.com/v/ef35b25e-3b2…
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
In the interest of transparency the Ferguson PD officer that shot Mike Brown is Sgt. Heywood Jablome.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Dear #Ferguson PD: When the citizens peacefully asked you to do the right thing they didn't mean re-enact the Spike Lee movie.
Cookies, coffee & Harlan Ellison, helping me get through Robin Williams' passing. Still can't accept he's gone: pic.twitter.com/ZVkuL6AaAr
I talked to funny people like Kyle Kinane and Patton Oswalt about the allure of Athens, Ga. bit.ly/1q8hLHq
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Hey Media? Maybe instead of sending cameras to Robin Williams’ house to be ghoulish, you could send cameras to #Ferguson to be journalists.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"But doctor, I AM Pagliacci." That's the only way this makes sense. Can't stand thinking of him being that sad. #RIPRobinWilliams
20 WONDERFULLY INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES FROM KILLERS AND PSYCHOPATHS tcat.tc/1nd4UBO
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I gotta tell ya, playing Patton Oswalt's lover is wearing me out! @SHIELDRadio
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
On Comedy: Patton Oswalt, Morgan Murphy and Others Have Comedy Specials nyti.ms/1o9Q2EE
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
It's almost like @pattonoswalt voice has changed. Him and @realjknoxville killed this story. #DrunkHistory
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Doing another drunk history tonight. It may be on right now in the east. Tonight I work with my friend @pattonoswalt! pic.twitter.com/3B2RIv4XBM
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Patton Oswalt reveals Marvel's sexy new 'Agents of SHIELD' character ow.ly/zBhb0
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
It’s official. MANDATORY FUN enters the Billboard album chart this week at #1. Wow. WOW.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Happy Fathers Day to a man who received purple heart during Vietnam. I once won skeeball tournament at Dave & Busters pic.twitter.com/g7c1AMBoqo
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
I'm going radio silent until Tuesday, September 2nd. The most recent post on my Facebook will explain why: on.fb.me/1kwgJXj
Gift from a fan. My legacy. My curse. pic.twitter.com/J20Insgrb7
@pattonoswalt greatvset. Just walked past Ryan in the john. Direct quote from him "I almost got stabbed by my ex wife" swear to God.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
90 minutes, Chicago. You were amazing. Wanted to do more but my voice gave out. #iloveyou
Oh wow. This is the short film that the C.O.W.L. comic is based on. Very cool: bit.ly/1kuqIXV
Patton Oswalt Had The Perfect #YesAllWomen Tweet So Of Course Jackholes On Twitter Got All Worked Up uproxx.it/1wIbicG
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
People who don't follow @MrGeorgeWallace on Twitter -- why do you bother waking up in the morning?
Shout out to folks makin' love outta nothin' at all. There was nothin' there a second ago then BAM, they're makin' love!
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
This country went to hell when kids stopped wearin' those propeller hats. Let's put some damn propeller hats on these nasty ass kids.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Shout out to glory days, passin' you by in the wink of a young girl's eye and whatnot and such and such.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
SO excited to be on NO YOU SHUT UP this Monday on @ThisIsFusion, with the always brilliant @PFTompkins: fus.in/1gQnP92
In case you missed it, @pattonoswalt made twitter lose its mind again huff.to/1mD64b2
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"Listen. Forget fame & money. Forget the critics. Build that dune buggy for yourself." - from my recent interview in Dune Buggy Magazine.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Should probably let everyone know -- MALEFICENT started as the KING OF QUEENS movie. Went off the rails in the 3rd rewrite.
Scotch. Juliana Hatfield's HEY BABE playing on the laptop. See you tomorrow night, Chicago. Going to sleep. It's been a day.