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Patton Oswalt
Those were NOT my STAR WARS sheets in tonight's @AgentsofSHIELD. I brought my own but the network said no:
The 2015 PEN Freedom to Write Award goes to Azerbaijani Khadija Ismayilova. In prison in Azerbaijan right now.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Gerard Biard, Charlie Hebdo editor in chief, gets a standing ovation at the #PENgala. This was how his speech ended.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
WHY did I not consider my crippling OCD when I bought my daughter this Spirograph?!? #cantstop
Man up. A new episode of #Veep premieres in 3 hours on @HBO.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Just realized there are hidden TIE Advanced X1 fighters stitched into my daughter's shirt.
We simply can NOT thank @pattonoswalt enough for coming on the show. He's every bit as awesome in person. Thank you!
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Finally found the title for my low-budget sorcerer movie.
The Internet summarized (thank you @pattonoswalt; apologies for the overgeneralization on my part):
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
How can you not love the smile on this whale by @pattonoswalt? 1 of the 12 Doodles for Hunger
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Would have raised sales by 42% just by naming them American Pezidents. More proof that every office needs a comedian.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt