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Patton Oswalt
Loving the "Eye of Sauron" decorations at the Cheesecake Factory!
I own a @SteveMartinToGo trading card circa 1979. Any of u comedy nerds wanna buy it? DM me (front & back pictured) pic.twitter.com/LLO31JTBhw
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Hey, @Puddinstrip. I made you a new Tinder profile pic. I hope you like it. pic.twitter.com/0X1L40Icg4
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"Uff. Those loaves & fishes ain't sittin' right." pic.twitter.com/tsQtAuOGLd
Someone in Starbucks' promo department has suffered a concussion: pic.twitter.com/BTdds8D6Le
...and just like that it's over No van No pizza No hope I've never felt more alone in the universe .....oblivion pic.twitter.com/IirWMBI91j
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
So the stage fell on @pattonoswalt tonight. He laid under the banner for a few and then rose like a Phoenix. pic.twitter.com/XIx2KywyQG
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"I literally brought the house down." @pattonoswalt , his closer having broken the stage of @FSC_church. pic.twitter.com/WXbvbXbLXj
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
After literally bringing the stage down, Emperor Oswalt shares his plan to destroy the rebel base. @pattonoswalt pic.twitter.com/d8WCLT2JBt
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Good morning. ISIS mobilizing. Tensions in Ferguson high. Pizza still on van. All is right with the world. pic.twitter.com/7TB0ZGo4w4
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
President Obama is 2 blocks away yet the slice of pizza on van.....hasn't...moved....an....inch pic.twitter.com/xbhof6E9E0
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
#tbt photographing @pattonoswalt & Zach Galifianakis at the Comedians of Comedy Troubadour filming in LA, 2006. pic.twitter.com/Vcd5CBExBY
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
@Puddinstrip as night falls the pizza on van remains. if it makes it to day 4 I'm pitching it to Lifetime as a biopic pic.twitter.com/HC0ukrnhoE
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
LIFE UPDATE: for past 3 days have been mesmerized by slice of pizza on top of van outside my apartment window pic.twitter.com/SvEjgQh2HS
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
After years of sniping, Salon and @pattonoswalt have agreed to disagree about p.c. culture slnm.us/HmVFPSN pic.twitter.com/jsb14YSRp4
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt