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Patton Oswalt
comedian comedy music 1,683,476 followers
Watch Parks season finale tonight, I co-wrote it with my girl @eeshmu and it stars my other girl @FLOTUS
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  2h
For too long the liberal elite had written off rural folks, but then a maverick hero from the West came forward saying "the nigro" a lot
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  3h
"Rebel rancher releases racist rant!" -- Scooby Doo, reporting on the Cliven Bundy story for AP
  4h
When God closes a Fred Phelps, he opens a Cliven Bundy.
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  8h
"You are the Arby's of news." Jon Stewart and the Daily Show writers give Hannity a verbal blanket party: huff.to/1hrUQC3
  8h
Seriously, FOX News is remaking ACE IN THE HOLE with Hannity as Kirk Douglas. I hope this ends Sean's "career."
  9h
Hey, does Sean Hannity WANT there to be gunplay and maybe deaths over this Cliven Bundy standoff? 'Cause it seems like he does.
  9h
Next week on #BillyontheStreet brilliant @pattonoswalt & a very special game for Meryl! Until then we'll always have billyeichner.tumblr.com
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Oh that's right, the Blu-ray of @WilliamFriedkin's SORCERER came out yesterday: amzn.to/1lGduu7
Behind-the-scenes pic from @AgentsofSHIELD that, for obvious reasons, I couldn't share 'til today: pic.twitter.com/lt1bFA00St
Situation Critical: Comedian @pattonoswalt talks abt the music he'd play in various (deeply strange) life situations p4k.in/1l2qtYC
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Hey Urbana, I'm on the radio. No, really. WDWS. You can call in and talk to a sleep-deprived comedian.
@lilyhandmaiden @jedwhedon Maybe some teensy trims, but otherwise it plays as scripted. Was a doozy to shoot. @pattonoswalt is a trooper.
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please! RT @Jimmythehat1: @pattonoswalt dude, you're a damn good actor. It’d be cool if work on #agentsofshield got you in Marvel movies.
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Me too! RT @AmyAcker: I didn't meet @pattonoswalt on #AgentsOfSheild but I had a dream last night he was doing my makeup #itsallconnected?
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"He's got a heavy English accent. Could be a fruitcake." God, I love Walter Matthau in TAKING OF PELHAM ONE TWO THREE. #Ebertfest2014
$20 Fuddrucker's gift card, taser & a copy of The Artist's Way. #MyEarthquakeKit
Dad's Special Rum Cake Recipe: 1: No cake 2: Substitute vodka for rum 3: LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU
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"You assholes are 'sposed to be collecting TOLLS. You're sittin' in this house making cookies? Yer costin' me money!" -- history, I guess
I'm sorry aspiring comedy writers, but I bet that @pattonoswalt does NOT have a funny quote about his iphone at the the end of an email.
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Cis-yphus is cursed to forever apologize for his heteronormativity only to have his opinions ignored anyway b/c he is part of the patriarchy
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