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Patton Oswalt

Take a bow, pro #Brexit cuntkabobs:
PERFECT segue on @MSNBC during #Brexit coverage. Wait for it...
Happy Father's Day to my Death Rattler Dad (call sign: WIZARD)
@pattonoswalt stand-up inspired @CAH cards. Took a bit of artistic license with exact quotes. #cardsagainsthumanity
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
@pattonoswalt I hope the @nytimes crossword was harder than when you were in a hidden picture in Highlights Magazine
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Wow check out this letter from Brocks dad arguing for probation
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
hm everyone sharing the Stanford victims letter but no one is sharing Brock's heartfelt letter
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
"There's no ever-after/There's only in-between." Juliana Hatfield, "Hotels" See you guys in September. Hold tight.
"Your lettuce crop is so late the restaurants you provide to serve salad for dessert!"
One of my daughters sketch books already contains better election coverage than @CNN:
He just can't get enough of Veronica Deane. #ArcherFX is all-new TONIGHT at 10PM on FX.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Funerals are final but there's no closure. Memorials are hopeful but they don't bring back the dead.
This was dialogue I had to ADR for episode 4 of #LadyDynamite. One take:
Getting Me Through The Grief, cont'd: @JAdomian as Tom Leykis on @ComedyBangBang: youtube.com/watch?v=x34ZW2…
#LadyDynamite is one of the most inventive, absurdist, beautiful comedies in recent history: ow.ly/zeHn300nFIQ
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
You just rolled a 1, Gary. Look at me, Gary. That's a Critical Failure, Gary. You failed. #winning #dnd #trump2016
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Listen, Gary’s not a hero. Gary got captured by goblins. Heroes don't get captured by goblins. #dnd #dungeonmaster
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Tomb of Horrors is scary, like Vietnam. It is my personal Vietnam. I feel like a great and very brave warrior. #dnd
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Nobody reads the Monster Manual more than me. The '79 edition means a lot, but I don't want to get into specifics.
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
Maria Bamford’s Netflix comedy is one of the most flat-out original new shows on TV: slate.me/207K2RI
Retweeted by Patton Oswalt
 
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