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Patrick Star
The power went out in Bikini Bottom! We have to eat all the ice cream in town before it melts! HURRY!!!
I heard sometimes Pearl gets crushes on boys. That sounds incredibly painful! I hope she never crushes on me.
I was going to do a sit-up, but instead I did a lie-down. Still felt like exercise.
Call it a traffic cone if you must, but I know a good-looking hat when I see one!
I had a dream about sleeping. It was the best dream…
Growing up is overrated. But growing outward? Now that’s pretty fun.
I’ve never transformed into a giant monster and eaten buildings before. But I’m ready to learn!
I could be wrong, but if I was, I wouldn’t know.
Get out of bed AND make breakfast? That’s too ambitious.
Did you know that dark matter and dark energy comprise 95% of the universe? Did you know I’m afraid of 95% of the universe?
I may not have the best memory of anyone I know, but … uh … other thing, that I forgot. Anyways.
I’m going to keep planting and watering sandwiches until I grow my own sandwich tree. I don’t care how bad it smells.
Don’t be afraid of change. Change can smell fear.
I don’t concern myself with how I look. I used to try, but every time I did, I’d just see some weird pink dude staring at me. Creepy!
I just went to the store and got some cheese! I love shopping at Squidward’s Refrigerator.
I have the power to make anything invisible! All I have to do is cover my eyes, and voila! Not visible at all.
I don’t think I should have pets. I consider myself my own pet! And I’m pretty high maintenance.
I’m really good at Hide and Seek, except for the hiding part. And that other part.
Always remember to write stuff down that you really want to remember. Is someone writing this down?
Gary is the brightest snail I know. Or at least he is since he traded in his shell for that disco ball. Hurts my eyes to even look at him!
I consider myself a homebody. By which I mean, my home is a similar shape to my body.
It’s good to be an artist, because wherever you go, there you art.
If you’re worried about something, do what I do: forget about it! I’m blessed with the natural ability to do this.
It’s National Relaxation Day. Let me show you how it’s done. Step One: don’t do anything. Step Two: repeat.
I don’t consider myself unemployed. I’m patiently awaiting my next opportunity to take a nap.
I've been on every ride at Glove World, except this weird little one I just found called “Employees Only.” I can’t wait to try it!
My dad always told me to look both ways before crossing the street. So I look forwards, and then backwards, and then I cross! Safety first.
I don’t need my food to look good. I just need it to hold still.
Wherever you are right now, please know that I would like to peer into your refrigerator.
Am I feeling under the weather? Well, weather is in the sky, and the sky is up! So, no. I feel fine, thanks.
What’s that word for “saying” that sounds like “idiot”? Oh, never mind. I’ll never find the idiom for it. “Idiot” is close enough.
If at first you don’t succeed, you need to give up. One try was plenty.
They say there’s no rest for the wicked. I wonder if that’s true. I’d better sleep on it.
I sure could go for a sandwich. But is there any chance the sandwich could come to me instead?
SpongeBob told me he sleeps better after a hard day’s work. But I’m already good at sleeping, so why mess with success?
I need a firm house made of rock. It’s too easy for me to walk right through other kinds of walls.
Why do people dislike Plankton’s chum so much? It’s technically a food like product.
Some people ask, why do you live under a rock? It’s a good question. I should try living under other things.
All of us get our turn to play the fool, and the non-fool, whatever that is.
If I were the bus driver, I’d have a job by now.
I may not know much about art, but I know you’re not supposed to eat it. And that is why I don’t like art.
You’d think after spending hours on it every day, I’d be better at watching TV. I’d better keep practicing.
I love Glove World! If it were clothes, it would fit me like a … something that fits really well!
How did I get to be so smart? I have no clue.
Don’t cry over spilled milk. That’s just wasting valuable time. If you hurry, you might still be able to drink it!
I don’t understand why Squidward is so upset. I only hopped into his bath to borrow his rubber ducky.
I’m thirsty. Sure wish I knew where to find some water in this ocean.
I’m not much of a reader. Unless you count palm reading. That’s where I write my grocery list, to be read later.
I got backstage passes to the Ned & The Needlefish concert, but I don’t want that. How am I supposed to see the show from backstage?
There are a lot of fish that are smarter, stronger, and more powerful than me. I’m so glad I don’t have to do their jobs.