Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Want to get more twitter followers? Click here to watch our video.
 
John Mitchell
reading writing writers comedy 105,384 followers
I see you looking at me as if I am someone new. And then I realize that we have never met. Yet I'm sure I know you
I doubt that I will live long enough to make all the mistakes that I am capable of
I don't get to choose who is inside my head. But it doesn't mean I have to listen to them
I don't dream of success. I dream of failure and then make it come true
I knew I would never be alone after I had my first conversation with myself
Beethoven was stone deaf when he composed his 9th Symphony. You can keep dancing even after the music has stopped
My life has never fallen short. It has always fallen the whole way
Questions are just an excuse for not knowing something
I love it when people say you are only young once. Like you are old or middle aged many times
Sometimes I can seem wise. I just think of something stupid and say the opposite
Some people make backstabbing a profession. Of course, first they have to be your friend. Or family
I started out with nothing. I'm still holding onto most of it
It's ironic that we associate darkness with depression, even though we close our eyes and bury our heads when we are afraid of something
Apparently, today is the start of the rest of my life. I thought that was yesterday. But at least it's not tomorrow
There are those inside my head who like me and those who do not. I have not yet decided whose side I am on
I like the way that the end of something always has to be the beginning of something else
All my selfies look like someone else
I love random thoughts. The way that you can surprise yourself with the totally unexpected
I never aged on the inside. I just grew older on the outside
I did not expect to be here. For that matter, I did not expect to live this long
Yet again, New York is delivering more than its fair share of life #NewYork
Why do people ask if the empty seat next to you is really empty? Like you're so amazing that you couldn't possibly be sitting alone
Today, I will listen to those who understand my silence
Someone told me today that I am not always right. We decided to just disagree on that point
I have always wondered what real life is like