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Rowan Atkinson
actor comedian british 115,461 followers
Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compares to you, I love you.
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Just sold a lawn mower on eBay. That will be the last time my neighbor wakes me up on a Saturday morning.
Some people can be described in three words…“Worst Case Scenario”.
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I'm going to rewrite history. History.
Some days it seems like my life is overpopulated with idiots.
I think a woodpecker just called me a paranoid little weirdo in Morse code...
Be careful about making permanent decisions based on a temporary emotion.
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Dear Friday, I'm ready...
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
Did you ever want to say to someone… "Maybe if we tied a ribbon around your head we could call you gifted."
The only time I talk to myself is when I need expert advice.
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I've run out of pages to colour in, my colouring book... I guess that is enough work for a Friday.
9 out of 10 doctors say that other doctor is an idiot.
It's almost like some people are allergic to intelligence.
Backwards written is this realize to you take it did long how? But not this bit.
If I were a zebra I'd be pretty upset that they didn't name me tiger horse.
Some people’s brains must think its DNA stands for “Do-Not-Activate”
Been laughing laughing at this app all weekend. Download it now and you can thank me later.
Dear Karma, I have a list of people you have overlooked.
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Happy Saturday! May the only work you do be piecing together last night's partying texts.