Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
George Wallace
Shout out to the Hall of Presidents with all them robot presidents giving me nightmares and whatnot.
Flying to NYC today. This HAZMAT suit is more comfortable than I thought it would be.
Retweeted by George Wallace
Hey, my ex-wife is on the Youtube talkin' 'bout SEC football and whatnot. youtube.com/watch?v=nr4Qf_…
Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don't tell me how it ends!
Retweeted by George Wallace
If anybody should get to have a beef with how Hollywood depicts them, it's the people that run orphanages
Retweeted by George Wallace
There's something about that name Jesus... And there's something about these grits in the South w/ butter salt n pepper and what not.
I'll straight up deny he's a jolly good fellow 'cause I'm a stone cold thug.
KFC just said "They Have the world's best chicken". Apparently they don't get out at all. The old man is turning over in his grave.
If you're watching the Falcons, take a hike. That's what they're doing. Go Braves, and take the Sorry Falcons with ya.
Folks on reality shows need to make alliances. How come they never do that shit?
A funny thing for a movie would be a series of mishaps. Hahaha. Someone needs to make a movie with some damn mishaps. Shout out to mishaps.
A funny thing for a movie would be a sassy black side character who tells it straight. How come no one's done that?
Shout out to fire drills. You know good & well if shit's actually on fire ain't no one calmly walkin' anywhere. Shit's gonna be Thunderdome.
Shout out to everyone in movies who starts kissing then stops because they "shouldn't be doing this" and whatnot.
Show of hands, how many of y'all pine for me?
Shout out to zany comedies. Don't even show me a comedy if it ain't zany. Maybe if it's madcap. Zany or madcap. Other shit can go to hell.
Teach my kids to walk up to Stevie Wonder and say HEY daddy 15 times a day. $1500 a day and what have you. What.....NOT?
I can talk shit about Stevie. We go to church together. He volunteered as an usher last week. Sat me in a damn fountain.
To be fair Stevie Wonder ain't exactly sure which hole he's in at any given time.
Stevie Wonder can make some damn babies. Songs & babies poppin' out left & right. Some of his kids are white, Asian, Latino. He doesn't know
National Enquirer reports Stevie Wonder will father triplets. That's 13 kids. He may be blind, but he shoots straight. M-A-R-V-E-L-O-U-S .
Went to HOPEWELL MBC Sunday. Got saved and filled w/ the Holy Spirit. Went home watched The FALCONS... Lost it. Cussed all DAMN day.
AMERICA....Wake that a$$ up this moanin.
Hell no I don't wanna feel old, dumbass!
A horror movie that would absolutely terrify me would be one where the monster made everyone give up salt.
Retweeted by George Wallace
BREAKING: Scientists baffled as man makes it in New York, fails to make it in second locale.
Retweeted by George Wallace
I just auditioned for a acting role to play myself! I don't think they liked me. Wow 2014 has turned out to be a really tough year.
Retweeted by George Wallace
Just wrote a note in a sketchbook and drew a sketch in a notebook 'cause I'm your worst nightmare and whatnot and so forth.
I implore my Black friends, and I know it's tempting, but please do not name your child Ebola.
Retweeted by George Wallace
I'll straight up feed dogs from a bird feeder and birds from a doggie bag I don't give a shit anymore.
Am I the only one who didn't realize today is a holiday? I guess when you don't have a job and what not ...
Just got bored halfway through a Vine and turned that shit off.
Don't forget I was the Mayor of Got Ham in 'Batman Forever'. I woulda ripped that chastity belt off Bane's face! pic.twitter.com/eUjWTMy1tb
Watched 40 minutes of "Gotham" tonight 'cause I thought it was "Got Ham". I'd watch the shit out of a show called "Got Ham".
51 yrs ago I spoke #6, Dr. King spoke #10, and out of everyone who spoke that day I'm the only one still around. #TBT pic.twitter.com/IIDAnOAv8L
Retweeted by George Wallace
In ATL Thanksgiving weekend. Gonna be off the chain back on the chain then off it again! Tix @ punchline.com/shows.asp?show… pic.twitter.com/EBL2vipL3Q
I'll straight up listen to house music even when I'm in an apartment building 'cause I'm a rebel and I'll never be any good and so forth.
Shout out to the Sports Illustrated football phone. Don't even call my ass if you ain't using a Sports Illustrated football phone.
Hey hey hey. Wake that a$$ up this moanin.
Shout out to @tjholmes Definitely representing on early morning ABC News. Congrats my friend.
OMG. People are replying $2.50 per pint of Häagen-Daz is really cheap. DUH... That's my point. U have to buy 4 or 8 and what not.
No Shout out to Walgreens. 2 freakin pints of Hâagen-Daz's for $5. Not cool and what not
Hell no I ain't lookin' at the damn moon I got shit to do!
I'll straight up dip before my hand is on your hip I don't really give a shit.
Just got my arm caught in a Coinstar machine. Everyone have a great week and never stop following your dreams
Retweeted by George Wallace
I want the person I date to be a little weird but not "Matthew McConnaughey Lincoln commercial" weird.
Retweeted by George Wallace
If my plane's crashing due to pilot error I'll put a sassy hand on my hip & say "Smooth move, pilot" & the other passengers will all hi-5 me
Retweeted by George Wallace
Shout out to low octane. The forgotten octane.