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Ed Byrne
comedian 321,700 followers
ONLY 4 DAYS TILL #PHRINGE! And @MrEdByrne has almost sold out so you might want to hurry...
Retweeted by Ed Byrne
Just in the door from @PearlJam show in Leeds. Breathtaking gig! Over 3.5 hours of awesomeness. Perfect set list.
Me, my younger bro and @GlennWool en route to Leeds for @PearlJam . The quiet before the ROCK!
Which is sadder: The fact I'm watching 15 to 1 on Challenge on a Sunday afternoon, or the fact I just recognised Kevin from Eggheads on it?
Script idea: Facebook manipulates a hard nosed businessman's data... and teaches him how to love again.
.@OwensDamien I think ground control were pretty rude not passing on the message to his wife. They just yelled back "She knows!"
I don’t think Major Tom was much of an astronaut - Ground Control had to tell him to put his helmet on, FFS. That’s pretty basic stuff.
Retweeted by Ed Byrne
Oh wait. It turns out it's because I've been walking around with my cock out. #sillyme
The hotel I came on holiday to is too posh. I keep getting withering looks just because I'm not head-to-toe in crisp white linen.
I find people who constantly say, "I work hard and I play hard", also make liking them hard.
@MrEdByrne Could be worse. At least he’s not nipping to the bog with the Sunday papers and claiming to be “off for a big Ed”.
Retweeted by Ed Byrne
Things I discovered this weekend: When my Father-in-law has a long lie in he calls it "doing an Ed". Cheeky git.
Re that last retweet. I will be making a small appearance in @DonnyDonkins show at the @lsqtheatre tomorrow night. It's a v. funny show.
To my 84 loyal followers: This is it. The bloody big time! My own West End one-man show @lsqtheatre tonight & tom…
Retweeted by Ed Byrne
To me, the most surprising part is that it's Women, plural. Via @TechnicallyRon
For those interested, here's me, sea cliff climbing in #cornwall on assignment for @TGOMagazine…
BEST POSSIBLE RESPONSE! "@KittyLaRoo: @MrEdByrne Laughed coffee out my nose. Thanks Ed."
Woman opposite me on the train just sneezed. Wanted to say Bless You but thought it creepy. Anyway, I'll get back to massaging her feet now.
Utterly, utterly ridiculous. @white_thundaaa: @MrEdByrne @realrossnoble How ridiculous was that Household?!"