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Michael Ian Black
comedian comedy actor 1,930,750 followers
Pretty miserable and depressed, a little bit about Israel/Gaza but more about Bieber/Bloom.
What is the appropriate number of fondue pots for a married couple to own? More than five, right?
??? RT @GeneCarithers @OldsCoolGLAMour Billy'sGreat,but I thinkYou'reReferenceTo "Give Peace A Chance" should be creditedTo John Lennon.
I think this Israel/Gaza thing could be solved if we listened to Billy Joel and "gave a peace a chance."
So happy @JimGaffigan's show was picked up. It's well earned. I guess my only disappointment is that @michaelianblack is involved?
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I want a raise and I need Friday off. RT @tvland Thanks for the RT! Welcome to the #TVLand family
We are excited to announce that @JimGaffigan @michaelianblack @ash30 and @TheAdamGoldberg are coming to #TVLand on The Gaffigan Show!!!
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Thanks! Fingers crossed! RT @StevenSimmons makes sense with the democrats penchant for not supporting Israel
Good news: I'm up for the role of "Blood Libel" on the Sarah Palin Channel!
I just ate the fruit sticker. #thuglife
My wife is currently disassembling the dishwasher to clean it. Everybody needs a hero. She's mine.
How many calories are in Adderall?
If Bey and J break up, I'm not going to ask her out right away. I'm going to give her a few weeks to heal.
Taking my kids to see "50 Shades of Grey" b/c I saw "Purple Rain" with my grandma and now I'm a millionaire.
I WANT TO PAY YOU TO BE MY WRITER!!! RT @TurkSayler would've been funnier if u said baseball
Michael Jordan is the Weird Al of basketball.
Flossing has become a regular part of my life. Please inform my 16 year old self who sang in a punk band.
Tonight’s new podcast StarTalk Live! Big Brains @ BAM Pt 2 also with @michaelianblack @TheScienceGuy and Paul Rudd: startalkradio.net/show/startalk-…
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My Chet Huntley and David Brinkley Comic Con panel was sparsely attended. :(
Throwing things away feels better than sneezing three times in a row.
Has anything ever been more aptly named than the Mercury Mystique? pic.twitter.com/cqkfK8bqjY
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Seems redundant to "cordially" invite. What would be an uncordiable invitation? "You can fucking come if you want, dick head."
My 11 yr. old is into vinyl records and vintage turntables. She. Is. Such. A. Poseur.