It's too expensive for the client to fly to New York to waste an hour discussing her daughter's recital, so we're having a conference call.
Despite headlines from The Onion, I assure you that I will not be leaving a suicide PowerPoint presentation: onion.com/dog2i4
I leaked Glenn Greenwald a really ugly PowerPoint slide the account director did, but so far he hasn't written about it.
The boss SAYS he spent a week on animations in PowerPoint that didn't work at the client, but it's possible there are no animations.
Note from Accounting: "Make sure to use the correct job number for time on your birthday." Yep, there's a job number for your birthday.
What are conference calks about? From @ginandting
Conference calls are often called a bridge because after ten minutes you want to jump.
It'd be nice if when you ask a question, just once you LISTEN to the answer instead of interrupting.
A comic about conference calls I did with @spencermains
is featured in Readers Digest this month: ow.ly/m7rMS
The boss just discovered the word "myriad" and is using it in myriad ways to describe myriad things and please just kill me now.
: 30 questions Snowden didn't answer, including @MeetingBoy
's: bitly.com/14Geyrg #AskSnowden
Boss spent a week animating his presentation, and then they didn't work because the client has an old PowerPoint version. Poetic justice!
Are all PowerPoint slides in the government that bad?
Do you think marketers will get to rent email lists from PRISM soon?
Does the PRISM database know the secret identity of @MeetingBoy
Does Al Qaeda have a problem with reply-alls too?
First inappropriate reply-all to an all-company email of the week, and it's not even noon on Monday!
I hate having meetings off site first thing because then I get to the office late and get stuck with one of the janky coffee mugs.
Badmouth the vampires all you want, but for all their faults at least the Vampire Authority never showed one PowerPoint.
Turning on Airplane Mode an hour before my flight so I don't get work emails.
A waitress can spit in the customer's good when he's an ass. I work in an office-- what's the equivalent move?
Cannot stop thinking about how much of my job is just "copy-paste-tab-copy-paste-click-enter"
My iPhone battery is down to 11% so there's no way I'm reading any of these emails from the office at 9:30 on Friday night.
I'm not going to a meeting at 5:30 on Friday unless it has beer, and even then, the answer is still no.
Client scheduled call for 1:30 on Friday, then canceled because his office is closed. I think he's just flaunting that he gets summer hours.
"reverse stalking": it's a term I coined to describe how I avoid coworkers at lunch: meetingboy.com/post/388406317…
The boss bragged to a client that "we have an extensive testing lab." It's one guy, and testing is only 25% of his job.
I can't believe office workers in the '90s had to make do without 3-D pie charts. So primitive.
You made no decisions before calling to assign us work, so now when we show you a draft, it'll certainly be "missing the mark".
When the receptionist gives out my email to someone because I didn't return their call.
Account director says "there are no hours left on the job", so I'll just do nothing and hope it works out.
Wearing some nice new deodorant today and STILL can't get any co-workers to sniff my pits. So much for team-building.
The time it took me to figure out what "PFA" meant surely outweighed what you saved instead of typing "please find attached".
Reporters, that PRISM slide is NOT fact. People exaggerate and lie with PowerPoint all the time. I'll bet the NSA doesn't even do half that!
: Whenever I end an email with, "Does this make sense?" I'm really asking, "Are you too stupid to understand clear logic?"
It's amazing how many job interviews seem to happen during doctor appointments.
You said I'd have it in 10 minutes and that was 3 hours ago, so you don't get to complain about the tone in my email.
, I've been saying the grandstanding, do-nothing Congress is just like my company for 2 years! ow.ly/lYF5T
For fans of the office urban lingo post (ow.ly/lYsPH
), here's a term I coined-- "office walk of shame": ow.ly/lYsFP
Senior manager just discovered the "hey, girl" memes on the internet, so now we all have to laugh and pretend it's totally new.
Sure, I'll help, but first I'd like you to admit you're either incompetent or just blew the deadline watching cat videos.
Look, just turn on spell-check and do whatever it says. It'll miss some things, but at least you'll only seem half as stupid as you do now.
when people read every single word off their PowerPoint. I can read! I finished 6th grade!
when someone leaves a voicemail instead of just emailing me.
when someone calls to ask if I got their email.
5:30 is a time for finishing up, not for you to come by and ask if I'm busy.
The project is complete and been sent to market, so let the second guessing begin!
You chewed me out for not getting back to you but didn't leave me contact info in your vmail. So now it's my God-given right to hurt you.