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Patrick Bateman
hipster fashion music movies ofwgkta 30,485 followers
Hey baby, you look a lot like my next girlfriend
This guy has next level snapchat skills
*accidentally cares more about tv shows and fictional characters than education and academic success*
Oranges can be either male or female The males sometimes unexpectedly squirt in your eye The females are bitter for no apparent reason
Apparently the definition of 'study' has been changed
Have you ever had a dream about someone and then you started seeing them differently because of that dream?
No one gives a shit about how 'baked' you were yesterday moron
I like after Easter because Easter eggs are reduced, cheap chocolate in large quantities ye boy
It's funny when a person says they had a bad day & everyone instead of cheering them up, enters a competition of who's had the shittest life
I would recognise a celebrity in public faster than my own parents
So who else has had a fuck load of chocolate today?
It's not really 420 today, it's more like soggy doobie day
'pick it up.' 'i picked it up last time.' 'it was your idea to have it.' 'fuck off'
Girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it's cute need to be slapped in the face
Girl: "want to come over and watch a movie?"
It's been proven that blonde girls always succeed in terms of getting my attention anyway
I think there's something wrong with me, I sleep way too much, it's most probably because I'm getting depressed over exam stress
Horrible weather for weed smokers lol don't do drugs kids
Guys help, I'm stuck in a predicament Which option do I take A) Sleep B) Eat KFC C) Share KFC with you (not really an option)
Lonely night in 😔