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i hate when people stand so close to you, like literally inches away from ur face talking to you, like yo i don't wanna smell ur breathe
i am michael
i had to kick the cat out of the shop though cos some lady complained that she was allergic to him πŸ˜₯ bye garfield
i was just sitting at work, inside my dad's post office, i heard meows, next thing i know a fat ginger cat appeared meowing bare loud at me
old ppl love me an old lady who idk with a walker, i tried to avoid eye contact with her so hard, then she shouted GOOD MORNING at me
my friend jt @krule_kid is too funny
when you fall asleep spiders rub their dicks on ur face
lmao my brother just called my dad a "spear chucker" because my dad is from kenya, bare deep
cats are endless amusement
i don't even get asked if i'm single i think everyone just looks at me and thinks yeah, nah definitely single
people who eat the ends of bread loafs would eat your friends & family don't trust them
not everyone is going to like you so why bother trying to impress everyone
i have a real problem with authority i wish i didn't but i just hate people telling me what to do
it amuses me that they got their goggles off
every time someone asks me to do something
courtney what the fuck
every single time
i was in the hardware store and some old lady in front of me was staring me down she said "i like ur car" "tyvm" she want the 'corsa d'
if you make the "is typing..." notification pop up and you don't send anything, i will slap you
ok truthfully i enjoy educating myself because i like to comprehensively destroy people when it comes to arguments
i actually enjoy educating myself like being literate having sound knowledge of topics i think it's good for ur personal development
if a guy sleeps with lots of girls he's a player when a girl does she's a lesbian
"what's for dinner?" is my FAQ
oh shit too real
sometimes i change from wearing all black to all white it's more god like and i am a god
idc what shoes you're wearing i'm gonna shout "WHAT ARE THOSE" at them with all my fingers pointing at them
reminder: just over two weeks until a-level results day
me when buying absolutely anything
need motivation
i can't stop laughing at this
if you don't ask you don't get

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