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Loki Kross
A single, healthy, bowel movement can change your whole outlook on life.
Random quote of the Internets: "Lex Luthor. He once stole 40 cakes. Thats as many as four tens. And that's terrible."
Terrified black priest on horror show. I would call it the #Trifecta , but this is #TWD; so he will live forever.
Don't get me started on the receipt checkers at Walmart. They never get in my bag. #YouHaveNoAuthority
You would be amazed how many places a power screwdriver can get you into. #TBT
"I'm not a pimp, or a gigalo; I have enough money, I don't need a ho." - Too Short
I got : The Child. Didn't expect to be called "innocent".… via @play_buzz
Want to be Amazed? Check these guys out! @I_Quant , @jay_sankey , @Ben_Seidman , @KaylaDrescher
I'm at @GameStop and a baby in diapers just slapped the shit of a grown man.
Sophie's real name in Leverage is 6 letters and ends in a, b or c. Hmm.
A woman noticed my fangs today. That only took a year.
I got : David Lo Pan (Big Trouble in Little China)! Which Movie Magician Are You?… via @play_buzz
Check it out! I will record 200 words in an experienced broadcast voice for $5 on #Fiverr
You would think sleeping 4 hours a day would leave more time to be productive. But then again, 4 hours...
2 weeks prep to film new DVD. Ready to go today. Severe storm making too much noise, and a zit on my eyebrow. Anyone playing Destiny?
Oh shit. Heavy rain in Vegas. I should go film everyone driving like they are 90.
I got : Loki! Which Norse God Are You?… via @play_buzz
I got : AMERICAN PSYCHO BY BRETT EASTON ELLIS (1991)! Which Banned Book Are You?… via @play_buzz
Hmm. 40$ in @BestBuy Reward Certs, and a 150Mbps @CoxComm ; methinks I will finally grab a @Chrome_cast #SponsoredContent? ;)
"No one earns a billion dollars. People earn $10 an hour, people steal a billion dollars." - Fran Lebowitz
I got : 103! At What Age Will You Die?… via @play_buzz
1 Large Hand + Octopalm = Bond Villain.
I don't even eat at McDonald's; but even I'm tired of hearing, "Would you like two apple pies for a dollar?"
Spontaneity enhances Impossibility.
Passed out at 2, woke up at 4; went to bed. Woke up at 6, cold sweat. Up since. Sometimes you just say, "Screw it! I'm eating cereal."
If cops carried #Fleshlight s instead of flashlights, "police beatings" would take new meaning. #ChangeTheDefinition #ChangeTheBehavior
#MarriedAtFirstSight created 2 real couples when most love shows cannot sustain 1. Sign me up. I can't be trusted to find a mate on my own.
I need to start putting my Visine and Super Glue bottles farther apart.
I watched #EdgeOfTomorrow 2 times in a row today. #Meta
Awkward Moment. Someone asks if you are going to an event, and you never heard about it. Then they go, "hmm", and act like it didn't happen.
I wonder how much money the bucket company has given ALS... They must be flush right now.
PayPal has made 3% of my earnings the last 2 years. #DirtyDogs lol
I just slept 6 hours, I think. First time in a year or so.
Reading #InfinityGauntlet and Thanos is a tricky beast. That is all.
I'm officially a Vegas resident.
Some fun I had with some Super moon footage I grabbed.
Too cloudy in Vegas to see the super moon. Which is just weird. Clouds in Vegas.
A guy cut me off on the road, so I used my Optic Death Ray on him; and it didn't even phase him... Dealing with a super villain here...
Imagine all the confusion that would arise if Too $hort said he's been a virgin all this time.
I'm sitting here trying to figure out how I managed to have a fractured vertebrae for 25 years and am not disabled.
150 GeV, (5 Sigma), is when shit gets real.
The day Vegas panhandlers start carrying a Square, I'm done.