You know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the couch and wake up on the couch.
That depressing moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching an awesome movie.
Dr. Seuss could've been the greatest rapper alive.
If mom can't find it, it's gone forever.
i wish my phone would stop correcting "omg" to "OMG"... i'm not that shocked
Do not touch MY iPhone. It's not an usPhone, it's not a wePhone, it's not an ourPhone, it's an iPhone.
Yes, I dance in my car. Yes, I see you staring at me. No, I do not care.
"you support gay rights so you must be gay" i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE LIFE CHOICES I STILL COUNT USING MY FINGERS AND I STILL SING THE WHOLE ALPHABET TO SEE WHAT LETTER COMES NEXT
I love my mom. No matter what we go through, no matter how much we argue, because I know, at the end, she'll always be there.
friendship is so weird.. you just pick a human you've met and you’re like “yup I like this one” and you just do stuff with them
How do I sit in my bed for the rest of my life but also become a billionaire at the same time
Stop stressing, let go, and move on.
If you're lucky enough to get a second chance at something, don't waste it.
can i end my essay with “u feel me?”
Kanye said he'll be the next Nelson Mandela? Man has a porn star as a wife & a compass as a daughter.
I wish I could record my dreams when I sleep and watch them later.
Dear Final Exams Questions, Please be easy.
Best friends mean everything.
When I'm bored, I eat, When I'm sad, I eat. When I'm happy,I eat..
Humans are the only creature in this world, who cut the trees, made paper from it and then wrote, "SAVE TREES" on it.
Sleep + social life = Bad grades.
Good grades + sleep = No social life.
Good grades + social life = No sleep.
My mouth automatically says "shit" when something wrong happens.
3% Phone numbers
2% Stuff I should know for school
90% Song lyrics
There's always that one person who catches you doing something weird.
I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at.
The only thing that needs to turn up right now are my grades
I wanna be a nice person but so many people are just so damn stupid.
me: im happy *thinks about life for 2.7 seconds* me: im sad
I need a part time job that pays $20,000 per week.
I hate when you're not angry at all then someone's asks you if you're angry and that makes you angry and you end up angry
Sometimes you have to do what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.
I hate when people are mad at me and don't tell me why...are you 5?
police: THIS IS THE POLICE! OPEN YOUR DOOR NOW!!!
me: not with that attitude
white girls be like
i'll have one grande peppermint chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please
i don’t get how babies can cry at restaurants lol like nigga why u cryin there’s food around u rejoice
exit the womb they said
life will be great they said
r u african because ur a frican bitch
i saw a piece of shit on the ground today it reminded me of u
row row row your boat gently the fuck away from me
i hate when people ask “who you tryna look good for?!”
bitch myself bye
things i haven't learned in school how to: pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank God i can graph a polynomial function
I hate when ppl ask u “do you drink?” like of course i drink i have water every day & when i wanna loosen up a lil bit ill have a juice box
2014 please be good to me
9 year olds now worry about iPhones and makeup when I was 9 I was worried about If Miley was gonna pick jake or Jessie on Hannah Montana
If you can't handle me in my sketchers you don't deserve me in my heelys
i only rush to text 1 person back the rest of u hoes can wait
Do I regret it? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably.
*puts selfie on top of Christmas tree because i am the star*
Instead of doing my homework I like to stay on my phone and worry about how much homework I have to do