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Ken Jennings
this date was over the second you pronounced "Charizard" like that
In the 13 years since we've seen it, Alex Trebek's mustache look has gone from "dapper Lothario" to "kindly neighborhood fruit seller."
Debunking James Cameron: did the Titanic band play "Nearer My God to Thee"? (probably not)…
I turned 40 this year and APPARENTLY that's too old to ask for a free cookie at the grocery store bakery.
*sits at computer, spends 8 hours writing at-replies to celebs on Twitter. glances at watch* ok nice, that's a good day's work
There's a town named for an Islamic revolutionary in...eastern Iowa?!?…
Old guy watching me get out of my car: YOU DIDN'T DO SO GOOD! Me: You mean parking? Old guy: YES. NO! ON JEOPARDY. Tough crowd.
I'm pretty much a Jain in that I always yell SORRY! right before I stomp on a spider.
Me: Why are you making that noise? 11yo: Please hold all questions until the end. Me: The end of what? 11yo: Of our lives.
If you can solve today's "Kennections" puzzle in Parade Magazine I will say "howdy" to you on this Twitter website!!…
Reminder that "Big Bob" carries around an awfully big supply of "kinderlotion."
Hey @AlaskaAir your "everything sticks" contain, at most, eleven things.
When will I find my Jordan Catalano
Future Tense editor @thekibosch sorta killed it on this week's @Slate News Quiz. CAN YOU BEAT HER SCORE, NERDS?…
This flight attendant on the PA sounds like "Lucy" from Twin Peaks. Epiphany: ALL flight attendants should sound like "Lucy" from Twin Peaks
It's a rerun, genius. RT @RossMichaelA Hey @KenJennings just took you in a bet with my old man. #dontlose
A little blue box reading "See which influencers follow you!" just appeared on my Twitter timeline so I had to throw my phone into the sea.
Roger Moore now looks the way he did on the centrifuge in Moonraker all the time.
It might be fun to call the bombs we drop on Syria "some more Bush v. Gore dominoes."
New "Kennections" puzzle! What is Austin Powers's middle name? (and other stories)…
.@austinburns And he grew it back for 9/11.
My wife's nana has one. She is 92 and still says "colored people." RT @suazie How old is too old to buy @KenJennings' Junior Genius Guides?
The panhandler at my exit had to change his sign from ANYTHING HELPS to ANYTHING HELPS EXCEPT FOR CARTOON GOSPEL TRACTS just because of me!
Some FREE!!! life-saving advice from my @woot Debunker column: don't head for a doorway during an earthquake.…
Some neighborhood dads found out I hadn't bought the new Tom Petty record yet and things got pretty heated.
The world's most romantic island from space is, as you probably suspected, in Croatia.…?
Mr. Rogers had that second house where he spent 1/2 hour every afternoon. I bet his wife thought he was having an affair.
It's okay to do the "Kennections" quiz on your phone in church because there's a Bible question today.…
Plagiarize from the job you want, not the job you have.
Motion to retroactively rename Anastasia "20 Feet from Tsardom."
It's nice when a killed-off TV actor comes back in one last episode to play the corpse. It means a lot to me.
Moon goddess rites 11:30. Babylonian snake deity 1pm.
I love when there's a new New Pornographers record except for having to say "new" twice in a row like that.
Tough @Slate News Quiz this week! How do you stack up?…
So excited to follow and cheer on the Seahawks this year as long as they're really, really good.
Joan Rivers just demolishing that heckler after the Helen Keller joke in "A Piece of Work."
Getting a lot of unfollows this morning in Ontario for some reason.
"I want a pet sloth named Señor Wences-sloth." —my son. Just keeping you updated.
SO TIRED of clapping happily when a kid takes more than 1 try to blow out birthday candles. His wish is screwed, why are we ignoring this
I am debunking disaster myths all month for @woot. Today: Mrs. O'Leary's cow--arsonist or regular cow?…
I like to do an eye-roll and a thumbs-up instead of giving bad drivers the finger. Question: are you guys getting the sarcasm when I do this