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Ken Jennings
Not a fan of my new proctologist but I didn't want to go out-of-network
Just sharing some wistful late-night thoughts on the World Wide Web.
Like the majority of men, I have a hard time going to the bathroom unless John Updike is watching me.
Word on the street is: Dylan is the best big brother of all time!!!! #CongratsDylan
You've Been Reincarnated as a Teapot, Charlie Brown
when your married friends bring the kids
This was it, it was all downhill from here.
The JUNIOR GENIUS GUIDES: parental guidance suggested.
Me and the crew enjoying your tweets rn
tbh I would have done the Rodney Dangerfield collar thing here also.
Amazing that this photo even exists.
Huge "screw you!" moment from the new Junior Genius Guide to the Human Body, ON SALE NOW!
Reading a story to the kids before bedtime.
Seattle, look! It's your next at-large city council member, @johnroderick!
🎶 Because there's too many plot (too many plot), there's too many plot (too many plot)
Important reminder from THE JUNIOR GENIUS GUIDE TO THE HUMAN BODY, on sale now!
So exciting to finally see my flagship product on the shelves!
when u just trying to fit in and hoping no one notices u
Who IS a Good Boy?: Drinking from the Toilet in a Deontological Ethical Framework
when you know the magic is gone in your relationship