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Ken Jennings
In Archie comics, Betty's mom is named Alice Cooper.
the C is for "Cockblocker"
I would absolutely listen to dead Nixon's podcast.
This series got off to a good start with the alliteration imo but ran into trouble with the silent 'w'
lol I love "Sniglets"
*jumps up and runs to the car so fast that my desk chair keeps spinning for 5-10 minutes*
When you're playing cards with the boys and have an unbeatable hand
I don't even know where to start with this.
SPOILERS it's Ovaltine
With my luck I'll wait 16,250 days for the bus and then two will come at once.
It's not a prison, honey. You're in a "creativity tower."
Boring conference call notes.
Please give generously if you can.
Weirdest of many weird things about this place: they don't take cash.
.@RealBenCarson You should check out my new Jr. Genius Guide to Ancient Egypt, on sale now!
If you cut us, do we not bleed?!?
I come up with amazing new slang terms like this literally all the time
No way she's falling for that, Plastic Man.
"What will the kids want on this huge pumpkin? Hmm, I bet they're into what I'm into: a giant farting devil woman."
Friday night, time to curl up with a good book
IMPORTANT NEWS from my new book: there were Egyptian mummies at 3 of the first Super Bowls.
My OKCupid game is just next-level.
Reminder that Jay Mohr married Nikki Cox, changed his name to add hers, & DID NOT EVEN DO IT IN THE FUNNY ORDER. :(

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