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Ken Jennings
This seat back has a lot of bad ideas like this one.
I like how the fancy name for frats is "Greek life," which was definitely not a Victorian euphemism for sodomy.
2062. Kanye West lies on his deathbed. "I....I'mma let you finish..." His voice trails away and his hand grows cold in Kim's.
I can't enjoy solving the amazing "Kennections" quizzes in Parade Magazine each Sunday, bc I write them. BUT YOU CAN!…
They should call this Peter Jackson Terminal 4 because you keep thinking it's going to end and it never ends.
The Delta terminal at JFK: when you want to get off a 5-hour flight and then go for a 5-hour walk.
Motion to replace "I can help whoever's next" with a friendly "Get over here, ya big lug!!"
The most offensive thing about the Paris butt plug Christmas tree is that they put it up in October.
I write a weekly quiz for @Slate about the news, which is cleverly titled "the Slate News Quiz."…
SEATTLE! Oh boy, let's hang out tonight and talk about space.…
SEATTLE! I'm talking outer space, signing books at the LFP 3rd Place Books tomorrow. Alien abductees get a free book.…
Notice: I am too kind-hearted for any movie/TV show where someone gets stood up for something. You fade to low-melted candles AND I WALK.
The fourth Junior Genius book is ON SALE NOW!!! (You can follow it even if you haven't read the first three.)
Trebek briefly regrowing the mustache for just 1 month is the legacy-destroying "Michael Jordan Wizards comeback" of facial hair.
A warlock cursed me to forever be standing in line behind people trying to remember the name of a movie, and I know exactly what movie it is
Retweeted by Ken Jennings
DID YOU KNOW? The name of the Rolling Stones album Sticky Fingers was inspired by the band's love of cinnamon rolls.
"F marry krill." --teenage whales
Shoutout to the 5-8 store clerks & other total strangers who heard my parents' life story today.
In honor of my new Outer Space book, on shelves tomorrow, this week's "Debunker" column: do black holes suck?…
Wow, that WAS a bad weekend for "The Judge." RT Variety: .@RobertDowneyJr is joining @Marvel's "Captain America 3"
Hate to brag but my GPS just told me "you have arrived."
Don't smoke when you're pregnant or your baby will be born French.
Trying to talk the kids into early bedtime because "Columbus won't come until you're asleep!!"
What if I really love Judy Greer but--here's the thing--not quite enough?
Today's new "Kennections" trivia puzzle feat. 1990s soda nostalgia!…
I hope everyone who ever signed my yearbook knows that I did, in fact, stay cool.
A+ ern joke. RT @MrPokey09 Ern Down For What
UPDATE: a woman at the zoo thinks the Steller's sea-eagle is "a sexy, sexy boy." #sexyeagles
The cool thing about the "prepper" movement is how, in event of global catastrophe, all the human survivors will be huge assholes.
Probably late to the party here, but for the record: the "Dawn" of the Planet of the Apes should come BEFORE the "Rise," not after.
So amped about this new Koko B. Ware biopic that Michael Keaton is making!
So @WilliamJDobson got a score of 395 on this week's @Slate News Quiz. Take him down, Twitter!…
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is pretty hard on moral failings like gluttony, materialism, and enjoying gum.
Do you know a kid (or kid at heart) who likes space? Well looky here, a fun book you can pre-order. Out in 1 week!…
Something I generally feel pretty good about is my odds of outliving all the people in those "Up" documentaries.
I can never remember which usage of "nonplussed" makes me sound non-smart.
Take 5 minutes to solve today's "Kennections" puzzle and feel smart for the rest of the day.…
*dazes you with moth pheromones, begins to wrap you in silk from my spinnerets* I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn
I guess he was only into her because of the no hair thing. :(
I have a new book about space coming out in October so I'm debunking misconceptions about stars all month for @woot!…
Remember: 80 percent of the vitamins and nutrients in pudding are in the skin.
Washing fruit is a waste of time. What % of US presidents do you really think washed all their fruit? Probably like none. Please RT.
"Maphead" weirdness today from @CNTraveler: the river in Texas that crosses itself.…