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Ken Jennings
Not a fan of my new proctologist but I didn't want to go out-of-network pic.twitter.com/DO0ht3pJiG
Just sharing some wistful late-night thoughts on the World Wide Web. pic.twitter.com/TowAXAXeX6
Like the majority of men, I have a hard time going to the bathroom unless John Updike is watching me. pic.twitter.com/wtCc4BtSdJ
Word on the street is: Dylan is the best big brother of all time!!!! #CongratsDylan pic.twitter.com/1ByAPT4QhB
You've Been Reincarnated as a Teapot, Charlie Brown pic.twitter.com/W2HFDCWmSA
when your married friends bring the kids pic.twitter.com/U6NcptYDoI
This was it, it was all downhill from here. pic.twitter.com/NnBp5Hia78
The JUNIOR GENIUS GUIDES: parental guidance suggested. pic.twitter.com/ACC5rrXvMh
Me and the crew enjoying your tweets rn pic.twitter.com/Rex9FhirJN
tbh I would have done the Rodney Dangerfield collar thing here also. pic.twitter.com/BkTsJQMMh2
Amazing that this photo even exists. pic.twitter.com/RlGcsMWR0T
Huge "screw you!" moment from the new Junior Genius Guide to the Human Body, ON SALE NOW! parents.simonandschuster.com/9781481401739 pic.twitter.com/BJAD6gwN7E
Reading a story to the kids before bedtime. pic.twitter.com/ep0fUJmpV2
Seattle, look! It's your next at-large city council member, @johnroderick! voteroderick.com pic.twitter.com/xpFxrqqTip
🎶 Because there's too many plot (too many plot), there's too many plot (too many plot)...pic.twitter.com/iKaqAEY6cyy
Important reminder from THE JUNIOR GENIUS GUIDE TO THE HUMAN BODY, on sale now! parents.simonandschuster.com/9781481401739 pic.twitter.com/Yal6HIfbNr
So exciting to finally see my flagship product on the shelves! pic.twitter.com/KqR12Rz887
when u just trying to fit in and hoping no one notices u pic.twitter.com/MfzRDftvAq
Who IS a Good Boy?: Drinking from the Toilet in a Deontological Ethical Framework pic.twitter.com/ljoSKTQMgM
when you know the magic is gone in your relationship pic.twitter.com/61fIz3n6IP