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Ken Jennings
Unheralded victims of the Internet: businesses who changed their name to something dumb like A-1 Movers to be first in the phone book.
Sort of unfair how there's so much great hip-hop coming out of Mullumbimby, New South Wales but only Iggy Azalea blows up.
Sometimes when I'm bored, I go on usps.com and put holds on the mail of random addresses. Really easy & fun.
BEHIND THE TWEET 2! That last tweet originally ended "But I couldn't quite pull the trigger." That would not be in very good taste.
BEHIND THE TWEET! That was originally "'And no religion either.' —Mark David Chapman, grammar-nazi" But I couldn't quite do it.
"And no religion EITHER." --John Lennon's grammar-nazi friend
Shout-out to my daughter eating Subway lengthwise. pic.twitter.com/cwcgJUkYJv
Don't say any kind of music is "tasty." You think you can pull it off but you can't pull it off.
Q: Why did Owen Lars think he might be related to the Skywalkers? A: There was an Unc-Ani resemblance!!! *my virginity abruptly grows back*
I wrote a trivia puzzle as the latest installment of the super-fun "Year of Puzzles" from @Puzzazz. puzzazz.com/yearofpuzzles
ugh this guy again DON'T LOOK AT HIS NUTS pic.twitter.com/XLJ0hsjngm
Is your dog's mouth really cleaner than yours? Ewww no. woot.com/blog/post/the-…
Seattle has a strip club called Deja Vu & I always wonder if the girls look like your aunt or your 2nd grade teacher or something.
I give up, everyone. I will be pronouncing chaise like "chase" from now on. You win, you monsters.
Hey what is a "cigarette boat"?!? I am not an expert but it sure SOUNDS like a combination of the 2 coolest things around.
How to become the king of zero people. Step 1: make a flag. cntraveler.com/daily-traveler…
Whoa, according to this director, the star insisted on doing a lot of his own stunts. Damn. This movie actor sounds pretty boss.
You think Twin Peaks has aged well. Then try to watch any episode of, say, thirtysomething & you realize Twin Peaks has aged INCREDIBLY well
Everybody at the biker bar in the Twin Peaks pilot is weirdly into the ethereal synth-pop of Julee Cruise.
The Entire Mystery Even That Windom Earle Part That You Don't Want To See Again pic.twitter.com/JdX1fWemls
GHOSTBUSTERS 3 idea: Slimer has a neckbeard and a fedora and he's VERY unhappy & hostile about the team being women.
.@Harvard My son just came in to tell me he won a staring contest with the dog.
No one is sadder about the Studio Ghibli announcement than the guy who has to go out back and shoot all the Totoros.
New #Kennections puzzle! Special guest stars George Clooney, Thomas Edison, Philip Pullman, and the "12th Man." parade.condenast.com/323411/kenjenn…
Well my store is closing and I hope you are all happy. pic.twitter.com/F6seGdrJE7
I walked into the Gap Outlet behind a middle-aged white lady who yelled "HOLLA!" when she got inside 👏
Retweeted by Ken Jennings
So @KenJennings is coming to #TCONA next week. Can you make it to Vegas in six days? Let him convince you: buff.ly/1m9SqeP
Retweeted by Ken Jennings
"Hey maybe if you got really sick or died, THEN everyone would be sorry" --YA novels
I bet Public Enemy is super-flattered to be the #1 most beloved rap act of their generation among white people.
Are you guys watching this show, Masters of *drops voice* S-E-X?
Average score: 339. Slatester score: 170. How will you fare on this week's @Slate News Quiz??!?1? slate.com/articles/news_…
This sandwich place has a sausage & meatball sub with a sexy-jokey name, but it only comes with 1 meatball. It should be called "the Hitler"
In my son's 1st grade class, there was a big sign that said USE FURNITURE CORRECTLY and I probably still think about that once a day.
Every day I ask myself at least once: am I being the best Matthew McConaughey I can be?
I just ran into a doorknob and swore at it but in all honesty, like 99.9% of my doorknob interactions all-time have been positive & helpful
THINGS THAT WERE NOT AS EPIC AS BILLED Mattress sale Gallery of fail GIFs Dad's "summer beard" Thor 2 trailer Snow camping Light rail Soup
New Kennections puzzle! What exactly is a "chukka." parade.condenast.com/322153/kenjenn…
I think my dog just said the n-word?
My kids ate all the ice cream sandwiches before I got home. Can I sue the President.
.@BarackObama Why isn't The Iron Giant out on blu-ray
I don't think Arcade Fire has THAT many members…in my day we listened to 10,000 Maniacs!!! lololol they were a 5-piece that's sort of a lot
All I want is true, unconditional love like when Paul and Linda McCartney got the same mullet in 1974.
Which Husband From "Boyhood" Are You? Take Our Quiz
lol at how my secret array of satellites can control the whole planet's weather...but sometimes I can't even control my own heart
If you want your child to be president: please note. RT @ablington beach reading. pic.twitter.com/SGF3eCMnzL