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kelly oxford
comedian comedy hipster 572,097 followers
Look at this fucking hippie.
Lied and told him the house is haunted.
Last yr I wrote an article for @Playboy & this week it came out. Buy it! RT @AyyDanielArango read your article on Bush! Good stuff! go you!
I don't know. I'm downtown and should mention it.
Texts to friend with a daughter named Frankie. #victim
Someone hearing your Facebook notification sound is worse than someone hearing you fart.
Won't be an adult until I remember that sticking a fruit sticker on the side of the sink just means I'll have to pick it off later.
Hi @mmcnearney !! (@mmcnearney hates my selfies)
😛😘 thank you @cocorocha for your @baublebar #ohsococobb treeeaaaaats!! 👌❤️💪🎷💗💥🔥👯👯🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Lunch with my coworkers. #blessed
So much less stress now that I've moved and don't have to deal with #CARDOG and don't have to worry about this fucking deer and the people who drive by her going 45mph all afternoon long. #blessed #thathilllife #bambismomtrauma
Bea. Sal brings her Gertie. (Warning: no appearance by Gertie)
Hunting for eggs is easy when you still don't have furniture.
Jumanji is scary.
People who talk on speakerphone in public places should be arrested because they are capable of murder.
"Draw me like one of your French girls." ~ Gus
Bob has a great book, a crazy life and is a fantastic human being. Always love spending time with him. 😘😘 @bobsaget
COME TO AERO THEATRE NOW IN SANTA MONICA ON MONTANA. HURRY, WE WILL GIVE YOU FREE SHIT. @bobsaget #dirtydaddy
1987 so many lasers. #tbt #lasers
Why mothers should not allow their teen daughters access to tweezers. 11th grade. 1994. #barrymoreyears
I cut my own bangs and was a ghost in the summer of '79. #tbt