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kelly oxford
Henry just told me Justin Bieber has three main looks, so I asked him if he could create them. Laughing so hard at his.
none of the kids in Red Band Society look sick enough :(
Gus* is OBSESSED with Utopia. *Kelly
#fbf the time Bea dressed herself for the market and then said "take a picture of me beside these onions."
Life Side Note: This new reality show Utopia would have been much more interesting if the producers hadn't planted troublemakers.
WHAAAA @Homepolish and @Apt2B are giving away my coffee table. (Not my actual table, another) Enter here homepolish.com/giveaway
there is a dent in my head. GOOD BYE WORLD. (Yesterday I had a headache, drank a ton of water. Before bed I took an Imitrex and @white_lightning sent me a photo of Snooki's tweet asking if mermaids were real. I woke up like this)
Video of me chugging WINE?!RT @MarissaARoss by the time my homegirl @kellyoxford popped in, i was wasted. #giawine. youtube.com/watch?v=pS8IaX…
My favorite thing in the house is this couch because all of us can sit on it without touching each other. #myapt2b
@hommemakerblog and I found this poster at the Rose Bowl Flea Market and now the old guy who sold it to me calls me once a week to try to sell me more posters.
I painted bathing suits on my nude paintings and now the lady who cleans my house once a week is happier.
My house is featured on @homepolish website today! @hommemakerblog
NEWSFLASH: I rent a house. I wanted it to be homey. I used @Homepolish to book a designer & this is how it turned out bit.ly/hpoxford
There's not enough water to help the situation. #LAHeatWave #drought #dehydration #sorrynotsorry
Someone knows how to give great gifts. 👏👏👏
Thank you @thealistofficial for throwing another boring party. 🙌🏆🙌😘😘#springlive
You know in the winter when you stand in front of an air vent blasting heat from the furnace? That's how all of Los Angeles feels right now.
Every single Republican in the US Senate voted against equal pay for equal work for women today. Unreal. #equalpay
Retweeted by kelly oxford
Professionals. Cc: @mmcnearney
Hard to believe there was ever a time so innocent that George Thorogood's Bad To The Bone truly described a badass. A lunch lady, maybe.
I wish one of these Miss America contestants would intro herself "Fuck all y'all!!! Beauty pageants for scholarships is some horseshit!"
delivery. #StudioCity4Ever #Ventura
@hotpatooties just read #paperaeroplanes #paperairplanes at @booksoup like she was fucking Meryl Streep. Brilliant teen fiction, buy it!! If we had PR or hustle sense we would be holding a copy of it in this photo. *please imagine her fucking Meryl Streep. #hustle #pr #fuckingmerylstreep
That moment you complete your first somersault that doesn't hurt..
Gertie is pissed that Hugh Grant got a shrine at the bar instead of her.
5 mins into What's Eating Gilbert Grape, ten year old son shouts, "OH MY GOD LEO IS THE BEST ACTOR EVER!"
This memorial doesn't get less beautiful/heartbreaking every year.
#mandatory When we get to beach we are driving into the ocean.
Cause my average speed is 12MPH RT @THR: Did you know: LA's mortality rate for car accidents is half the national average.
Sometimes you wake up remembering you live in California and there's a heat wave so you get your beach stuff together and laugh about "summer's over." @marahoffman @thepalatines #JenniferHaleyBag @somedayslovin
Because it's okay if you get your hair done then come home and put on your pajamas and watch The Jerk with your kids and go to bed. #KnowYourLimits #NoFilter
Watching The Jerk for the first time with my kids. They love it. He was 34. Goodnight.
@jenatkinhair is bossy. #beauty
Okay, okay, jeez I'll be there. RT @hotpatooties Californians, don't forget my Book Launch party on Sunday. 4pm at Book Soup on Sunset.
I am sure I could grab this.
- Morgan Freeman voice
Goodnight Moppets.
First grade. Depressed. Muppet Show Lunchbox. #tbt
Publicly stuffing 3-6 fries dipped in aioli into my mouth at a time thinking, "Gwyneth doesn't do this, but Oprah totally does." #Oprah4Ever
We need a sarcasm font.
boss bitch. 7am in Exumas #tbt
THAT *IS* CLIMATE CHANGE. YOURE NOTHING BUT A BAD CARTOON. RT @realDonaldTrump: Record snowfalls in September. Where’s the global warming?
1. I call this "I make my child grab her face." 2. I kept that scream in. #MomOfTheYear
Tonight I went to a @5SOS concert w/4 13yr olds. I didn't wear a bra, I did wear ear plugs. I've never felt so free. pic.twitter.com/WHHyOnvaR2
At @5sos concert with 4 thirteen year olds. I'm not wearing a bra but I am wearing ear plugs. I have never felt so free.
Thank you to @AlexAllTimeLow for the tickets, one mother is praying for you at church this week (obviously not me.) #5sosMadness
. @LAScanner @5SOS I've driven by HOB three times in the last 24 and cried "NOOOOOO," while looking at crowd, all three times.
Taking my daughter and 3 friends to @5SOS concert tonight where crazy people have been lined up for over 24 hours. #terrified