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Julius Lacerta
Abdominal pains. WebMD says I have 45 minutes to live.
There is only one real failure in life that is possible, and that is, not to be true to the best one knows. -- John Farrar
Feeling shitty
Bedtime. Right?
Tough night for #SYTYCD dancers.
Fresh clean pooches #jugsofinstagram
Just one of those days
check in, what are you doing right now?
I can't stay in bed.
Looking at my blood test results. #yikes
People with over the top, melodramatic sneezes are narcissists. #fact
If I handed you a hammer, would you use it against me?
Fist bumps. Where did those start?
OH: I love the Asians.
Shark Attack Tip #82: Hug shark and continually repeat "It's not your fault" until shark cries.
Retweeted by Julius Lacerta
It's probably ok to be a pepper lite. Considering the world.
Stock tip: buy Coke, sell PepsiCo Pass it on.
Stink update. It's not me. Seems somebody may be eating something disgusting for breakfast in the office.
Something on me stinks. Stand by for updates.
Sat down at desk at work and began to sweat like a desert pig. (They're the sweatiest )
Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.        -- Percy Bysshe Shelley
So much heartburn today. Blech
long hot weekend.
A win! USA women world cup
Omg another gooooooal
Another gooooooal
My tummy is in a bad way
We managed only to light one kid on fire. Good year. #america
So many illegal fireworks. #america
Venus and Jupiter.
Woo hoo America fuuuuuuck yes.
An American girl.
Someone is twooping
Getting our fireworks on.
Like our forefathers made ice cream

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