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Lacerta Bellator
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"obtain a level of fearlessness that becomes genuine" - @marcmaron
Hipsters ruined everything.
Over 5,000 people with PhD's work as janitors in the US.
Retweeted by Lacerta Bellator
Having a rough day.
I really need to see Sharknado II
I'm a comedy of errors. One-man farce.
My body is less homeostasis and more Homerostasis #doh
I just dropped everything I had in my hands in the middle of the grocery store aisle. Drinks will explode later. Stay tuned.
Most children are accidents, right? Lovable accidents yes, but still accidents.
My eyebrows are not in equipoise. #horror
Twitter is my heat sink.
I want to start a whisper campaign. Sssssssh.
On this day in 1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was published and the first few people started lying about having read it.
Retweeted by Lacerta Bellator
There was never a free market, nor will there ever be a free market on the face of this planet.
Brain ache, bad day for political podcasts.
I guess it's winter now. Time to stock up on cough drops and tissues.
La chose merveilleuse au sujet tiggers Is tiggers sont des choses merveilleuses #parisdisneyland
Tigger? RT @AP: A big cat near Disneyland Paris is not a tiger, French officials say, but they don't know exactly what it is.
Too late. RT @ao_freud: Psychology must not use human sexuality to promote addiction to classist, racist, beauty ideals.
When studying a certain subject, pretending that you'll have to teach the material you're studying helps you pay more attention.
Retweeted by Lacerta Bellator
Young lady just boarded the bus, she's wearing slip on sandles. Um. She's Hardcore. It's 33°
I would not want to live in my nostrils today. Yuck.
Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it's not going to go away. -- Elvis Presley
You all understand that we (USA) didn't land a probe on a speeding Comet 300 miles away. That was ESA, European Space Agency right?
With global climate change you better hope GMO labs can figure out how to grow food on Dune, I mean Earth.
My head feels like it's falling apart.
"overcast" isn't necessarily a light condition. But you live in the Northwest so I'll give you a pass.
Remember, when it rains it snows so, it snows all the time.
Peter pulled a fish out of Jesus's eye?
If the Portland media places a reporter every 4.242 miles apart from each other throughout the #pdx metro, eventually they'll be snowed on.
How in the hell did I get bacon in my hair?
Can I buy a knighthood?
Ok, where did I cross the line?
Me trying to crawl away from my teen mother. #tbt #throwbackthursday #1965
What's the deal with Russia? В чем дело с Россией?
Can I have the serenity prayer tattooed on other people's forheads?
What if Oregon City was actually Organs City? Eeeew #oregoncityor
Drama kids are a gateway drug to the Rebel kids.
Are Portland teens & young adults unique amoung the national norms for their age group?
Map reading should be required to graduate high school in this country.
My heart breaks when a physician slips into wooville.
So not what it looks like outside. My phone is a filthy liar. #SalemOr
Made it. Roads are fine. Drive as fast as you want. In fact, tailgate. Tailgate the shit out of the morning. Watch for kids. #SalemOr
Wow, if you eat with your mouth open, food falls out. #themoreyouknow
So cold. So wet. Let's partay!
It's not all bad out here. Aaaah iceberg sighting on river road! #keizerOr #SalemOr