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Tristis Lacerta
shit. The Princess Bride is on BBC America. Awesome
Ok, I'm way behind on drinking.
Breakfast for dinner
What to drink, what to drink. Suggestions?
Hacked by @i_heart_bvb_xd love you dad😈
Hamilton was not president.
Great pod! @mentalpod with @KatiMorton. Great questions with great answers. #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth
.@damageddaughter that's why being an atheist is so awesome. We have no sin. #ftw
My poptart addiction is getting out of hand. #TPA (toaster pastry anonymous)
Hangnails or hangovers?
Rand Paul compared free healthcare to slavery. He also compared gay marriage to genocide and a bicycle to a plate of spaghetti.
Retweeted by Tristis Lacerta
Gah, the mountain that pivot tables just took my favorite restroom stall.
Sorry I stuck a cheese puff in your baby’s mouth when you couldn’t find a pacifier.
Retweeted by Tristis Lacerta
When you play against the odds by having a herd of children you're likely to get a bad seed. #dugger
OH: (McDonald's counter) "I want one salt and eight peppers"
Good morning... That's not the sun.
Anger is a prelude to courage. -- Eric Hoffer
I guess it's a good day to fast.
Shit, just say on my glasses. Hmm now they fit better.
I didn't pursuit my dreams. If I ever caught up to it, I'd kill it.
A storm's a brewin'
Cabbage not #money
Working some dinner out.
Mouth burning, burrito of napalm.
Ugh. Starving, tired.
Squirrels fucking hate pigeons. #fact
My left lung is named goth girl, My right lung is named riot grrrrrl I don't smoke.
One of my feet is more bohemian than the other.
Ladies, you can't do your own pedicure?
Today is @nprfreshair's Terry Gross day on @WTFpod! 90 minute Unedited live interview! Do it.
Retweeted by Tristis Lacerta
I had a dream last night about taking a great nap.
Am I a horrible person if I'm more worried about Roman ruins under the sacking of Palmyra by ISIS than the people?
That's a sexy forklift.
I'm brew pub fat. Only I haven't been to one in six months. #PopTartsCrazyGood
Oh. Those aren't legs.
woke up thinking I was late today. Turns out I'm ahead of schedule. it's going to be one of those days. #win
I'm sick over the fact I don't have a good reason to stay home from work today.
Need to be asleep. For I'm very exhausted. Screw this day to hell. #haiku
That Squirrel got his nuts. Oh, I get it.
I dug THAT out of my ear?
#memorialday is coming up. thus the avi change. thanks for the 30day weekend my brother's in arms in #RIP