Please upgrade your browser to make full use of twiends.   chrome   firefox   ie   safari  
Create your own wall, sign in free!
John Cleese
Editor of the Daily Mail : P.Dacre Anagram of P Dacre : Crap Ed Co-incidence ?
Joke of the Week.The Mail,the bitchiest of all papers,accusing Michael Palin,the least bitchy of men,of being 'bitchy' LoL
Pleased to announce my #SoAnyway book tour dates this Autumn. More information here
Ecstatic and delighted to announce @JohnCleese signing #SoAnyway Thurs 9th October 1pm!! More details please visit
Retweeted by John Cleese
‘Elmo 92’ takes back his lead with an utterly batty distance of 2907 metres!
Can anyone tell me how to contact the CEO of Abercrombie and Kent ? I wish to register a complaint. The staff won't help me find him or her
I'll believe their expressions of regret when they print an apology for misleading their readers.Don't hold your breath...
Two letters from the Sunday Times yesterday apologising for their nasty piece about Michael P and me.'Never intended...' Insincere bullshit
Finished an excellent book last night : 'Tiger Whispering for Beginners' by the late Colin Turner.It's entertaining and very short
Sorry,trying to get everything into 144 words.I would not have endorsed the decision to use Spamalot to promote gambling if I had been asked
Python exercises no control over Spamalot decisions or actions.We are not even consulted.I would not myself endorse betting advertising
Dear Twits, Please understand that Python has no control over Spamalot activites. They pay us royalties for using the Grail script.That"s it
I'm embarrassed that I sold them the serialisation rights to my book.What a fool
Lots of you asking why I bothered to tweet about the nasty Sunday Times piece.It's because I thought they were a half-way decent paper,so...
Reading the most frightening book I've ever set eyes on.Seriously.'Hack Attack' by Nick Davies
Dear 3,000,000 twits Annoyed by snide,lying piece in the Sunday Times trying to create ill-will between Michael Palin and myself.
I'm intrigued that every year about 70% of the jokes chosen as the best at the Edinburgh Festival' are puns.Why do the judges favour puns ?
Don't worry.It's just water off a Fish's back
Presenting my ice bucket drowning! …everything but the kitchen sink. Rather me than my cats… #IceBucketChallenge
Retweeted by John Cleese
That's so silly! A suitably named ‘Munson’s Boot' has taken the top distance with 2681m. Well done
Another reason for #LevesonNow - @MindCharity critical of press coverage of Robin Williams’ death, ignoring advice
Retweeted by John Cleese
19 days to finish auto biography. Nose to the grind stone… finishing up school days.
Apparently I was on page 3 of The Sun yesterday giving their latest model a run for her money
At long last some very good jokes in the Daily Mail this morning (even if they were written by my daughter). Well done Paul Dacre.
The report shows that more government funding is required. Please tweet requests to @MayorofLondon @David_Cameron @George_Osborne
See @CamillaCleese at Edinburgh Fringe tonight @ 8:15 The Gilded Balloon with @cortmccown & @sarahtiana…
Ministry of Silly Walks game wins a silly award! ...
Elmo may be our first candidate to be officially funded after two weeks at the top.
Lots of pointless and silly things going on here apparently...
I really rather like the Swedes.
In a few minutes time I'm going to make a racist comment.
We’re collecting silly shop ideas to include in the game Twit #sillywalk with you ideas!
Retweeted by John Cleese
Here's a second tweet just in case you've only just woken up … #SoAnyway out Nov. &
US & Canada fans: Book about my life, #SoAnyway out Nov. & My editor thinks it's quite funny.
@JohnCleese I'm dangerously addicted. So much so, I've forgotten how to actually walk.
Retweeted by John Cleese
People have silly walked 15,534 miles so far. Only 9325 to go to cover a walk around the world!
BBC Cricket website is showing the scores of two simultaneous but different Tests between Sri Lanka and South Africa
Well done ‘Elmo 92’ for being persistently daft and reaching 2642 metres. A new record!
Привет всем нашим очень странных российских болельщиков. Наслаждайтесь шоу сегодня вечером. #?????? #MontyPythonLive
Olá a todos os nossos fãs muito bizarras portugueses. Aproveite o show de hoje à noite. #portugal @MontyPythonLive
Ciao a tutti i nostri fan italiani molto bizzarre. Godetevi lo show di stasera. #italia @MontyPythonLive
Hej til alle vores meget bizarre danske fans. Nyd aftenens show. #danmark @MontyPythonLive