Guys who accept FB friend requests from chicks in bikinis are the adult equivalent of kids who get into vans with dudes who promise candy...
My newest blog post. "You can't be lonely if you like the person you're alone with."
My newest blog post about letting go of the past and enjoying the now.
'You can't put your arms around a memory.'
Woke up, got out of bed & promptly tripped over my shoes to the ground.
Welp, I gave today a shot. Back to bed.
I'll try again tomorrow...
So the big reveal on #GameofThrones
is the woman we thought was a hot temptress is an old hag in disguise?
I call that "Saturday Night."
Kindle edition of my new book "Box of Rain" based (not so) loosely on my life here in New Zealand. Check it out!
Dear Apps. Quit asking me to rate you right when we first meet. Let's get to know each other a little first.
It reeks of desperation dude..
General inquiry. Do you guys think it's cool for a person to fake their own death to get out of a gym membership? Asking for a friend...
No more waking up to music for a while.
My interview on Radio NZ about Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Check me out at 10:00 A.M tommrow on Radio New Zealand talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder.
My Jim Valvano St. Patrick's Day. HOPE this is a fun story to read.
They found a knife in #OJSimpson
's house that may have been used in a murder.
I'm really starting to think this "Oj" may be a real jerk...
One of my articles on dating and relationships featured on "Stuff" today..
My newest blog post about the healing power of music.
Watching the Oj miniseries. I love the scenes with the little Kardashians before they were fame whores. Or even famous.
Or even whores.
My newest blog post about how the stories that we tell ourselves an keep us stuck.
My newest blog post about our stories that become fulfilling prophecies. It's how we get stuck! What's YOUR story??
A good message to women who withhold their intelligence, etc. to please someone else.
I wish I had a branding iron with a hashtag on it, so I could sear it into people's flesh when they use the word "hashtag" in conversation.
Quit trying to change the word "fucking" to 'ducking'. We've been together a long time.
♪If you don't know me by now♪
Some reflections on a new year, my time in the South Pacific, and trying to prioritize moments instead of outcomes.
My NY resolution. I stopped after "eat the delicious food."
Christmas in Rarotonga. Had a wonderful time with the island folk.
Christmas in Rarotonga!
It's been 25 years since "Home Alone" came out. I just saw a recent picture of Macaulay Caulkin.
Something tells me he's still home alone..
Off to Rarotonga. Reminds me of a trip to the Virgin Islands I took
They were just called the "Islands" when I left
Baby it's cold outside-A rapey dude uses the cold weather to entice a resistant woman to spend the night. Watch your drink around this guy.
Grandma got run over by a reindeer- An elderly drunk woman wanders into the snow to get her medication and gets killed by a wild animal.
That dude that screwed over Adele is sure responsible for some good songs.
Shame we can't get him to date Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber now
Not sure what Kim Kardashian and Kanye will name their 2nd child.
But you can bet it will be something stupid...
Planet Earth to Kylie Jenner,
"What would you say. Ya do here???
Wow! Coldplay is gonna play halftime at the Super Bowl. That should be a high energy affair.
Was Kenny G busy or something??
I don't trust a mall santa. It's basically a job for morbidly obese dudes in onesies who are unemployed 11 months out of the year.
My newest article about how we often give too much weight to the past, with our "unreliable narrators."
Me to client- You're 15 minutes late dude. Jesus man, what are you? Ten years old?
Client-Actually I'm nine.
Me- Okay then. Tell your mom..
So Facebook added this new feature that monitors how often you see your ex's posts.I already have that feature my life.
It's called alcohol
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.
My first surf lesson. I'm getting ready by getting acclimated to that water.
How I feel about those clever "copy and paste" Facebook games..
I would do ANYTHING for love.
Even that shit Meatloaf wouldn't do...
So Chipolte closed stores in the NW because their food caused diarrhea? I could have told you that.That's the price you pay for convenience
My newest essay about the elusiveness of the perfect road trip..