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Jimmy Carr
comedian comedy acting 3,831,224 followers
Fun night in Cape Town, heading off to Durban for tonight's show. Thanks to Victor for the SA Tour shirt he made me. pic.twitter.com/XvCSJy9RHu
I had such fun playing Carnival City in J'berg I headed straight over to @davidkau1 's #blacksonly show to do a late night set. SA Rules
Excited to be in SA next week! #GaggingOrder at Joberg 29th Cape Town 30th & Durban 31st March Plus! #RoastZA w @Kenny_T_Kunene - 28th April
If you live near Oxford & you're free next Monday 24th/Tuesday 25th we've got two charity shows, details here; helenanddouglas.org.uk 
My DVD 'Making People Laugh' is on Channel 4 tonight at 10.45pm.
Don't miss the new 8 Out of 10 Cats tonight at 10 on C4
Tour in SA in March rounding off by roasting @Kenny_T_Kunene a sushi entrepreneur turned politician for @ComedyCentralAF. Funny old world.
New South African tour date on sale now! Durban 31st March online.computicket.com/web/event/jimm…
Edinburgh! My Fringe shows are on sale now! Tickets here: edfringe.com/whats-on/comed… #funnybusiness
store.unionchapel.org.uk/events/9-feb-1… I'm doing a little show with Alan Davis tomorrow night. If you're free come on down.
RT @CharRidgwell: Best part of my DVD collection. @jimmycarr always cheers me up! pic.twitter.com/VPKfT9dPW1 - I cannot thank you enough.
RT @jimjefferies: I look like fat Brandon Flowers or Dan aykroyd in trading places when he is dressed as drunk santa. #followjim
RT @GeorgeRobboEFC: @jimmycarr got his sister a Hulk fist for Christmas. 😜pic.twitter.com/rQbLnTFZWNN
Iceland is advertising a frozen Eton mess. I don’t think they need the word Eton in there.
You can now get slippers that you can put in the microwave. I think my aunty invented those when she was having a breakdown.
The world’s largest rose wine bottle containing 30 litres has been created. And just in time for the Loose Women’s Christmas party.
A beautiful cross-eyed girl is taking the modelling world by storm. I’m not sure who’s she’s modelling for, I think it’s Hugo Boss-eyed.
Apparently today is the 1st day of winter. What? We haven’t had any winter yet? You have got to be kidding me.
A company has made a full English breakfast into a drink. What for? The busy city builder on the go?
New Funny Business tour date in Brighton on sale now: jimmycarr.com/live/
It’s now been scientifically proven the cleverer you are the more likely you are to be a drinker. Merry Christmas. You are welcome.
Scientists say James Bond drank so much booze that he would have been rubbish in bed. So it turns out I AM like James Bond after all. Result
Derek will probably try to say there were dark forces at work. Yeah either that or you didn’t have your lights on.
No one is suggesting Derek crashed because of drink. Those evil spirits can overwhelm you. Especially on an empty stomach.
Derek Acorah was arrested for careless driving but wasn’t hurt. Someone must have been watching over him. Yeah CCTV cameras.