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Jim Gaffigan
comedian comedy actor director 2,005,920 followers
INDIANA - I’m performing at Fairgrounds Coliseum for the State Fair this summer. I’m already applying sunscreen. whosay.com/l/duO8f8x
  5h
Thanks for having me RT @FallonTonight .@JimGaffigan reveals the one manly thing about himself nbc.com/the-tonight-sh…
  5h
It's impossible to sit in a Range Rover and not look condescending.
  7h
This place is nuts.
Signed paperback copies of DAD IS FAT and then @wkamaubell in Austin airport.
Signed paperback versions of DAD IS FAT for you at JFK.
I hate when spam is covertly hostile.
"Daddy can you make me scrambled eggs like when I was little kid? - my four year old daughter
@questlove I thought the line said something about Hot Pockets. That sprint to the couch was @JimGaffigan's exercise for 2014! #love #funny
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
At this point is there any difference between a yogurt commercial and Lifetime Television?
Interesting Fact: Turkey bacon is the source of 70% of all the disappointment in our lives.
Can someone come over and put paper in my printer? Thanks you’re a doll or a gent.
I just preordered the new @meganamram book because I hope "Science...for her!" is for men.
Tonight with @jimmyfallon
"I've got a sandwich with my name on it." - Sloppy Joe talking about the Sloppy Joe
Doing another episode of Bob's Burgers.
Accidentally sending personal information to a stranger via a group text is a great way to start the day.
CANADA I’m only in OTTAWA for 24 hours. If you could only eat 7 meals where would you eat? whosay.com/l/wPN8eFf
"Are you naked in this?" - my 8 year old son.
.@JimGaffigan's "Dad Is Fat" out in paperback today; @nzaino's review of 2013 original hardcover: ow.ly/w2Oko
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
My 2 year old Mikey is all about the hands free bottle.
Sweden -2nd show added in Stockholm. Tickets on sale now jimgaffigan.com/tour-dates
My new kids' book, "Naked!" jumped 225,000 places on Amazon yesterday. Why? Hilarity, friends. And love. amzn.to/1eY5mX3
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan