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Jim Gaffigan
comedian comedy actor director 2,004,300 followers
"I've got a sandwich with my name on it." - Sloppy Joe talking about the Sloppy Joe
  8h
Doing another episode of Bob's Burgers.
Accidentally sending personal information to a stranger via a group text is a great way to start the day.
CANADA I’m only in OTTAWA for 24 hours. If you could only eat 7 meals where would you eat? whosay.com/l/wPN8eFf
"Are you naked in this?" - my 8 year old son.
.@JimGaffigan's "Dad Is Fat" out in paperback today; @nzaino's review of 2013 original hardcover: ow.ly/w2Oko
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
My 2 year old Mikey is all about the hands free bottle.
Sweden -2nd show added in Stockholm. Tickets on sale now jimgaffigan.com/tour-dates
My new kids' book, "Naked!" jumped 225,000 places on Amazon yesterday. Why? Hilarity, friends. And love. amzn.to/1eY5mX3
Retweeted by Jim Gaffigan
It's Earth Day but shhh don't tell the earth let's have it be a surprise. #rerun
One advantage of being a parent of a hundred young children is the opportunity to hold a press conference right when you wake up.
Today DAD IS FAT is now available in a lighter, Eco-friendly paperback version! Jimgaffigan.com/book pic.twitter.com/LW2SDoIOE8
Today DAD IS FAT is now available in a lighter, Eco-friendly paperback version! Jimgaffigan.com/book
I insisted being placed over classy establishments. (Photo from @stoneythoughts8 )
"Kale" a sneak peek at OBSESSED Premieres Sunday 4/27 10PM E on @ComedyCentral youtu.be/WcI7jgkwdCM
BREAKING: Study discovers 2-year old boys are 90% saliva and mucus.
Just met the real Easter Bunny!
Here is my trained falcon. I know can take over north of the wall.
Here is that pic of me on a horse you didn't ask for.
Here is that pic of me on a horse you didn't ask for. whosay.com/l/KHf8dfW
I win smartest offspring.