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Jhonen Vasquez
I should be working on Squee! but I'm playing Rogue Legacy because whatevuh
Apparently my long, beautiful eyelashes rake against the glass like Freddy's razor claws against teenagers' faces.
So my Oculus rift lenses scratch like they're made of wax. Gives everything a filmed-through-vaseline haze that makes everything so sexy. Infamous: First light you play a GIRL and you have to rescue a GUY? I don't get it. Is this a glitch? My gaming is broken now!
This tweet goes out specifically to all my fans named Shnapples Magoo.
Does anyone have a big yard full of plants genetically modified to thrive on urine want a super nice little dog because oh my god...
Just invented the Winnie the Pooh roll for my imaginary Japanese restaurant. It's got honey and bear meat in it.
Sadly, it's unlikely we'll actually GET Bob Odenkirk to do the voice, but I'm hoping the voice actor will also be named Bob.
There's a blob monster in my pilot that I imagine speaks like Bob Odenkirk. We've nicknamed him Blob Odenkirk.
Just once in my life I'd like for someone's favorite part of my body to be my disgusting knees.
Maybe it's dumb patting myself on the back in fictional contexts, but I think I'd be strong enough to know when I'd had enough of THE STUFF.
"She pees a little in her sleep" was maybe code for "She's the exit stargate to a stinking world of infinite urine and sadness."
As I sit here, squelching in the urine on my couch and on my pants, I wonder if maybe I'm in too deep (heh) with this incontinent dog.
People are like "Hey, Jhonen, why-" and I'm all "SHUT UP."
Digging that Bojack theme song, ya see?
I'll probably get in trouble for using Twitter to state unpopular opinions, but goddamnit, I just think Nazis are assholes.
Somewhere out there there's a wreck of a human being lamenting the fact that eating a P'zone was as good as their life got.
Oh wait may have posted this before - Invader Zim Xmas DVD cover idea @JhonenV w/ pasted-on mini moose
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
Picture me as a child, sitting in my living room, crumpled on the floor, crushed by grief as this plays on the tv…
Morricone was like "So Dumbledore ruins Orca's life, and then Orca's all FUCK EVERYTHING, huh?" Here's THE SADDEST MUSIC I CAN DREAM UP.
For a movie about the most vengeful, rage-filled killer whale, Orca had maybe THE saddest theme music in cinema, cetacean or not.
Anyone remember Orca? I'm not crazy in thinking he blows up a seaside town, right? I distinctly recall him blowing up a town, somehow.
Every one of my works, every drawing, every story, everything, I did while wearing only my "speedo of artistic integrity". It's neon green.
I want you all to respect me as an artist, but I also need you to shower me with complements when I post pictures of me in a speedo.
I don't wear belts. I just inject fat around my pelvis until the pants fit snugly.
Filler Bunny Collection by Jhonen Vasquez in stock at SLGPUBS.COM-
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
While I wait for Hohokum to ever be playable I'll just give Depression Quest a go. They're the same thing, right?
Two days into Hohokum and I still can't beat this boss! Where's a prima guide when you need one??
I can usually see when someone's got that look in their eye, that dead, shattered stare that says they once went DZ at Discovery Zone.
I'll be live streaming Hohokum's CE-34632-8 error screen on my twitch channel. Bring your friends.
Nooooo! Hohokum's giving me a 'cannot start the application' error message, but I need to play this game that is I dunno what it is!
The wind beneath my wings is farts. This makes it no less romantic.
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
Laughed at my screaming friend while he tried a roller coaster demo on the Oculus Rift until he slammed against the ceiling and exploded.
Angry that my pants have switched to a subscription based model.
There's a version to own on the autodesk store, but the mac store version with iCloud syncing is subscription only.
Not at all happy to see Sketchbook Pro 7 using a subscription based service. Loved using SBP before but I don't need another monthly fee.
I rate the Technolust demo 5 out of 5 stars, ten gallons of clammy sweat and one impending vomit.
Some oculus demos are like a voluntary, slower form of water boarding, only the water is coming from your clammy, queasy face.
Anyone available to build me a completely alternate reality for me to never leave?
Oh daaaaang! Just got home and this was waitin on my step!
Damn! I forgot to add the swollen, shiny man-lips!
I was hoping to just laugh at how bad the movie was, but I just ended up staring, unable to even daydream for all the shrieking and lips.
They still kinda act like the turtles you know, only more relentlessly, and trapped in sweaty, monstrous bodies with horrific, human eyes.
They cross the line from fun cartoon characters over into a more terrifying representation of Dr. Moreau style, cursed animal people.
I couldn't imagine wanting to hang with these turtles so much as I'd call the police and hide before they found and violently molested me.
The turtles strength comes not from their martial arts prowess so much as the fact that they're monster hulks now that can throw train cars.
Well I saw ninja turtles movie. I have no jokes in me. I've only the yawning void left behind by the shit I just sat through.
Tried giving my Ninja Turtles tickets to a homeless guy and he called me some pretty bad stuff and burped something about dignity.