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Jhonen Vasquez
Still waiting for a new Tetrisphere game.
The thing about e-mails like this is that I can never tell if they are written by children or adults.
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
So I had a night to sleep on my Box Trolls thoughts, and now I hate it. I hate it because I'm jealous of how great it is. I won't allow it!
Took some photos of an impossible landscape while dreaming and I'm genuinely upset they're not on my phone somehow.
My favorite movie villains this year were a cg ape and a stop motion exterminator. Actual humans gotta step it up!
I always admire the Laika movies but never loved them. I love Box Trolls though. See it, yeah?
VERY IMPORTANT HOUSE UPDATE: there's a house in the show!
I got this new phone so I could store more music but I could also have live bands perform on the goddamn thing.
Seeing hand surgeon to have hand enlarged to keep up with these stupid new phones.
I admit, I too shot into that cave, wondering what more there could be to life. Many an hour, gently weeping and firing into the dark.
To make up for patching Destiny's loot cave, Bungie is adding more of the same regular missions only now with mirrored maps.
Pitching a Blackish inspired show horror movie about a Mexican family pressured to constantly dance around a sombrero until they die.
A week into Shadow of Mordor and still no mini game where you explain taters to Gollum.
That'd explain the diving suit full of pee she constructed for me and the pee-note that read "Like in the Abyss, but with pee, see?"
Maybe she's warning me of some disastrous environmental apocalypse where the air turns to pee and she is trying to train me to breathe pee.
Well, the dog's legs have shriveled off due to blood loss, but she's adapted and is now peeing from her nostrils, just hosing down my walls.
So I've basically tied a belt around the dog's back half to stop any more urine. It works to stop blood flow so it should work on pee too.
Just chased a urine-soaked dog on a pee-flooded floor while screaming/sobbing obscenities. Take a number, ladies. -pee wink-
Need to unwind a bit! Gonna sit down with some Netflix and just relax for the night. Irreversible. That one sounds nice. Irreversible it is!
Watching tofu harden.
I actually like Johnny Depp, but I'm having way too much fun with this exorcist thing. Anyhow, Depp levitates and vomits. The end.
The priest watches in horror as Depp's head spins around and he speaks in a myriad of zany accents.
They'll tear whatever fake facial hair he is wearing off, and when it reappears more powerful, they'll call in the exorcist.
Depp's gonna end up on intervention surrounded by loved ones who are just pleading with him to speak like an actual person again.
Tusk's not a GOOD movie, but there's a lot of admirable oh my god they actually made this into a movie stuff in there, but then Depp...
It's a testament to Johnny Depp's powers of fuckery that he enters a bizarrely stupid movie like Tusk and somehow makes it go bad.
I write this from jail, a bullet in my stomach. Apparently there IS a time where eating pizza on a bagel is frowned upon.
By "blocked" I mean I sent teleported Kaiju to their location to fire urine directly into their mouth. -human/dog high five-
Blocked someone for an insanely ignorant comment about mah dog and it felt pretty good. People thinkin' they know what's what!
It's not like I ever had GOOD times with her. Three months of only sadness and pee makes bonding real hard! We have only THE PEE BOND.
Here she is being sad and sleeping in my luggage while wearing a diaper. IT'S TOO SAD.
Anyone have a life friendly to a little, incontinent dog that needs way more time and attention than a busy cartoonist can give them??
I'm gonna punch the doodie out of your booty.
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
My funeral is just gonna be the bagel bites pizza jingle on a loop until people can't take it and leave.
I've got to be honest, very few of you are actually my homechuds. Most of you are the ambiguous, chudless dark matter.
Whattup, mein homechuds?
Sick on cake squeezins.
"But I don't understand, what does do it more like a hot dog would even mean?!!" " ENOUGH SASS! NOW DO WHAT I TELL YOU, ACTOR!!"
I know I'm close to getting the right take when the actors start crying and begging to be let out of the booth. Cartoons!
Directing a voice session today. Out of practice! Hope I don't forget how to shriek at someone furiously until they do the right thing!
If male video game characters were dressed like female characters
Retweeted by Jhonen Vasquez
There's a cricket behind my fridge and it's driving me insane. Gonna try that grenade trick from The Raid.
"You don't care that we scorched the sky?" "Yes, Morpheus, that's important, but it SOUNDS stupid when you say it." "But we scor-" "SHUT UP"
"We don't know who struck first, us or them. But we do know it was us that scorched the sky." Talk like a PERSON, Morpheus!
Bungie must have Morpheus on staff as story lead because everything has that vibe of thinking it's weightier than it really is.