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Jeremy Clarkson
topgear comedy cars 3,245,834 followers
Apologies to all seated near me. I may have called the ref a bad word.
Apparently, I've nearly finished hosting Have I Got Newts For You.
I fear some of you haven't studied Hugh's post carefully before replying.
OK. I'll be honest. The staff at the Scarsdale tell me that the clientele has gone downhill in recent times.
I've just realised that there is something worse than trying on trousers. Applying sun cream.
14 years ago today, my birthday cake was stolen by the chairman of the FA.
I take it all back. Despite the tyre and fuel conservation issues, it was a tremendous motor race.
Look after your tyres. Save fuel. Drive slowly. Be careful.
I'm bored and it hasn't even started yet.
A word of warning if you're going somewhere this afternoon . It appears to be National Shit Drivers' Day.
It is a good play. And nobody sings.
I'm not a natural theatre enthusiast but I must say: Fatal Attraction was very very good. Even though one rabbit was a bit boiled.
Come on everyone. Keep up. Fatal Attraction: rabbit. Basic Instinct: beaver.
@JeremyClarkson if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck put it back in the oven for a few more minutes
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
To be clear, Sharon Stone exposed her lady's area in Basic Instinct. Fatal Attraction was the boiled rabbit.
Rabbit is my favourite meat. Apart from duck.
Afterwards, I shall eat a rabbit.
I'm going to see Fatal Attraction at the theatre tonight. Apparently, it's very good.
Can anyone guess why my new lapel badge is so very, very special?
And now, if you'll forgive me, I'm shutting down. I really do have more important things on my mind.