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Jeremy Clarkson
Wait. I've had an idea. What if no-one leaves the UK? Would that work?
For the millionth time, I don't want Cornwall kicked out of the UK. Hampshire on the other hand...
It has just occurred to me that I was conceived in Cornwall.
The Top Gear machine is now on a 777. Radio silence for 13 hours and 25 minutes.
Other teams to have beaten QPR this year include Burton Albion.
Always nice to see the underdogs get a goal against better teams.
People of South Africa. Really?
A miracle has happened. My coffee machine has just made 2 cups without asking to be serviced, de calcified, cleaned, emptied, or refilled.
To all those dullards who said my elephant picture wasn't real... Neither was Independence Day. Still a good film though
Literally, the best the world
I'm supposed to be writing a road test of the Honda Civic Diesel. Instead, I'm sitting in the sunshine, drinking wine and eating cheese.
Mercedes people. Shut up. Lewis knows more than you do.
Reflexive pronoun abuse on the pit radio. You. Not yourself.
Stop going on about the brilliance of Monza. Imola is way better.
My friend Simon West who directed Con Air and Tomb Raider is #crowdfunding his new movie. You can get involved at
@JeremyClarkson Please RT, MISSING teenager Alice Gross, London, hasn't been since Aug 27, Please help find her!
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
Can anyone explain what the bloody hell this is all about.
Wait. There are many dead teenagers in the pool.
There's a dead teenager in my holiday house swimming pool.
Argument with children: who is more famous; Nicki Minaj or Rick Wakeman?
This is a video of me being ice bucketed. @MrJamesMay @RichardHammond You're next.
@JeremyClarkson can you make it for @mndassoc the UK charity for ALS ? That way the money raised goes to help mnd sufferers in the uk.
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
If you donate to ALS I will upload the video of my ice bucketeering.
I just did the ice bucket thing. While I was fucking asleep
Day 4 #ChateauLeoube 🏰 Can@JeremyClarksonn please come to the diary rooooooom? 🍷📖🍷📖🍷
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson
7 hour drive today in an XJR from Siena to St Tropez. Can't think of much to complain about.
One of Britain's most respected critics relaxes on holiday. I shall say only that his name begins with an A.
Let me write this clearly so those with an irony deficiency understand. It isn't the end of the world if your A level grades are a bit shit.
If your A level results aren't joyous take comfort from the fact I got a C and two Us. And I have a Mercedes Benz.
May all your A level results be joyous.
It's here! Episode 5 of Cassie's Big Night In, thank you so much @AlexAndrew__, @robbieboydband & Steve of course! x…
Retweeted by Jeremy Clarkson