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RIP to all the dead nintendogs who haven't been fed since 2008.
A 6-pack on a skinny lad is like big tits on a fat girl. It doesn't count.
Friday, I fucking love you.
If you're on an iphone ㅤclick here for a magic trick
"No filter" Oh fucking well done, you uploaded a picture without changing it. Have a fucking medal.
Me: *Breathes* Mum: Watch your fucking tone.
Seeing a lads 'selfie' and cringing for his existence.
Monica & Chandler's twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe's triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let's just take a moment to let that sink in.
It's every lads favourite day #CleavageThursday Get your pics in now ladies!
Deleting one 'ha' from from your 'hahahhahahaha' because you feel like it's too much.
When a girl says "I'll set you up with my best friend she's really pretty" = she's a fat ugly munter
Pointing at an ugly fat girl when you're out and saying to your mate "one for you"
Is Mayweather vs Khan being shown on Sky Sports? Or Comedy Central?
Me whenever I see someone from school in public...
Why do people have 'Maga 2013' in their bio? I went to Asda in February but that's not in my bio.
If your girlfriend complains that you never take her anywhere expensive.. Take her to the petrol station.