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braden graeber
Dressing up as your favorite radio host for Halloween by looking nothing like you expected.
Slowly coming to terms with liking Taylor Swift. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers during these times.
Why pay to go to a haunted house when you can just be an adult and experience constant terror for free?
I've already seen that on Tumblr.
Scary Costume Idea: 2014
I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.
Was feeling very outdoorsy today so I spent a full 30 seconds looking out a window.
We're so lucky to live in a time where we can use social media without having to use social skills.
If you’re happy and you know it, how?
I love your mom's work on Pinterest!
American Horror Story: Twitter These Days
Imagine how much time you'd save by refusing to acknowledge cats.
One of the best elevators in Los Angeles.
scary costume idea: low battery
Haunted House Idea: someone pops out who you kinda know, but not well enough to say hi.
Retweeted by braden graeber
#tbt a short-lived career in canoeing
The year is 2045: Eye contact is remembered so nostalgically that a themed bar where you have to look at other people opens in Brooklyn.
I've confused most of the memories of my own childhood with the plot from a TV movie called "Halloweentown."
Go for the sure-fire costume #win this Halloween and dress up like a meme from four years ago. Please.
Yes I'll take one bread bowl full of your finest bread please.
Millennials: Inheriting your mess since the 1980s!
"Venti please, but I brought my own mug." *hands barista a hollowed out pumpkin*
I was into ranch doritos before they were cool.
Helpful tips from 1958 on how to prevent your child's Halloween costume from bursting into flames.
*starts nervously patting you on the back before the hug even begins*
I can't believe I've wasted all this time not being insanely wealthy.
#tbt to my sister @kelseygraeber in our childhood home
Got five minutes into American Horror Story before realizing it was just Tumblr.
Watching the leaves change color on Instagram is my favorite part of #fall.
The banner ads business model is, "Hey, maybe you'll click on us by accident!"
Retweeted by braden graeber
Envious of the chillness of most dogs.
The haunted house acting circuit is a terrible place to make enemies.
Did you hear the story about the millennial ghost? She literally died.
Booty had me like: trying to be a better self.