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HeyThatsSoTrue™

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Easter break!! Finally 🎉
So, I just saw @KendallJenner's Harpar Bazaar's spead... Self esteem: -93024823048320498
Follow my personal twitter! It's @warpedtourist If you follow that, I'll follow you back on here, I promise. c:
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Trying to keep your eyes open in class is the hardest struggle.
The only dates I get are updates.
The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets. The prettiest eyes have cried the most tears, and the kindest hearts have felt the most pain.
I don't depend on people anymore because I'm tired of being disappointed.
Shoutout to that one kid in the hallways that always runs full speed to all their classes.
Hardest thing to answer: What are you good at?
Romney is doing a really good job campaigning for Obama these days.
Friend: You go to concerts on school nights? Me: No, it's more like I go to school on concert nights.
If Ellen was the president of the world, there would be no wars, only dancing.
Bands you like: Let's all make our fall tours really close to each other and make it hard for fans to go to all of them.
Whenever you think you’re a failure, just remember that the director of Kony 2012 got arrested before Kony did.
Parents: You're on the computer too much, do something else. Me: Can I go to a friend's house or have some money? Parents: No.
A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday. It would be funny if this joke had a punch line, wooden tit.
I don't know why people even bother crying on the last day of school...the right time to cry is probably on the first day of school.
Me in 2009: "I must like every single page on facebook." Me in 2012: "I must unlike every single page on facebook."
The best feeling comes when you realize that you're perfectly happy without the people you thought you needed the most.
I’ve got 99 problems and they’re all concerts I can’t go to.
It always rains the hardest on people who deserve the sun.
"Who to Follow" aka people I don't like.
Forever selecting “price: low to high.”
Attractive friend: Wow, I'm so ugly. Me: If you're ugly, what the fuck am I then?
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? #HeyThatsSoTrue
If you can’t laugh at yourself, then please allow me. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Roses are red, violets are blue, HIV is contagious, so watch who you screw! #HeyThatsSoTrue
If makeup were illegal, you would be SO fucked. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Sarcasm: Because beating someone in the face with a shovel is illegal. #HeyThatsSoTrue
5 days of school, 2 days of weekend, 10 months for school, 2 months for summer. Who the fuck divided this shit? #HeyThatsSoTrue
That awkward moment when you think a customer is a salesperson. #HeyThatsSoTrue
That awkward moment when kids younger than you have a more interesting love life. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Hey I just met you, and girl you look crazy, what brand's your make-up, Crayola maybe? #HeyThatsSoTrue
Math: The only place where a person can buy 80 watermelons without anyone thinking they're fucked up. #HeyThatsSoTrue
There is nothing "safe" about safety pins. #HeyThatsSoTrue
That moment when you have so much shit to do, that you decide to take a nap instead. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Karma is taking too long so it looks like I'm gonna have to handle this one myself. #HeyThatsSoTrue
You assume I give a fuck, that's cute. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Admit it, we've all: 1) Liked someone we can't have. 2) Had someone's number in our phone when the other (cont) tl.gd/hp95q6
I hate people who say age is just a number. It is clearly a word. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Offering someone food and secretly hoping they don't want any. #HeyThatsSoTrue
I say the color of the Gatorade. Not the flavor. #HeyThatsSoTrue
When you try to look for that insect that flew into your room. #HeyThatsSoTrue
Me: "I wanna fuck you so bad right now." Crush: "Huh... what?" Me: "Damn autocorrect, I meant to say hey." #HeyThatsSoTrue
Texting your best friend when you see someone hot. #HeyThatsSoTrue