If you're out tonight, don't listen to the drink. pic.twitter.com/Y6GqQ4HAvr
No actual Germans were hurt in the filming of this monologue. pic.twitter.com/I1mFLANHi3
In honor of football season. Don't like unless you get it right away. pic.twitter.com/kUYSCSewOs
Yoda reason we are gathered. pic.twitter.com/DM0JQ6aa4y
Left arm to yellow.
(Credit: Mom's Got Ink) pic.twitter.com/GsCgcdfvVu
In honor of national coming out day. pic.twitter.com/upnGayOtvV
So, would I date the Shat? po.st/1BZXxc
Since it's National Coming Out Day, here is my OUTstagram. pic.twitter.com/kBHy2uUGQB
You have to be carefully taut. pic.twitter.com/Vm9fKqMayO
Your Friday earworm. No liking unless you think, "Boy, George, that was easy." (Subm by Stickey Von Ribz) pic.twitter.com/bS0bFKEWez
Children of the 80s will get this. pic.twitter.com/xUqM0qQ9lC
Everybody should get this immediately. pic.twitter.com/KzqqqNGJOZ
For people, say, of a certain "maturity." pic.twitter.com/3oZcNfNc5Z
Here's my take on things: po.st/inKxei
...and also that we used ROTARY LAND LINE phones. pic.twitter.com/nSOgX7qvWB
In an emergency, step up. pic.twitter.com/ZraZU9JjSX
1) No liking unless you get it in, oh, 15 seconds. It really should "ring a bell" with yo... po.st/wcfee9 pic.twitter.com/uzM4tC6p2X
I've often said, the most important people in the fight for LGBT equality are our straight allies. Share this if ... pic.twitter.com/esjGaV0zLX
Chemistry jokes. All the good ones argon.
(Subm. by Paris Reilley) pic.twitter.com/r8PTQ6HWXS
Friends, I will be giving a speech titled “Embracing Change” at the National Press Club in ... bit.ly/1606lfI pic.twitter.com/YrVKVODDng
Guess who's giving a speech at the National Press Club on 10/18? Public is invited--get your tickets here, and soon:
The Sixth Sense of Humor (Submitted by Peter B.W. Korin) pic.twitter.com/VNoxxoYUWv
This should win an oscar. pic.twitter.com/WWRPr5zu2b
You can always rely on gravity to bring you down. pic.twitter.com/f5Rq8SOWfi
The Star Alliance responds to the shut down.
(Submitted by Syrena Seale) pic.twitter.com/ckxB6D5PCH
We all know people like this.
(Submitted by Karen O'Riordan Nestor) pic.twitter.com/QC1qWmtBP5
Let's be frank.
(Submitted by Pamela Daly) pic.twitter.com/MjULFpPRUC
In a defiant show of LGBT solidarity, the Olympic Torch totally flamed out when it got to Moscow.
The Olympic torch made its way to Moscow, but when it reached the Kremlin...it went out. #CantMakeThisUp
For those out there afflicted by a case of the Mondays. pic.twitter.com/INCUY3AcyM
Russia's Putin has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?! Here's my response: ohmyyy.gt/R4hUWU
Being human means learning to see the common humanity in us all. pic.twitter.com/kHP9HVIiWN
From a fan. They aren't noodle all of this business. pic.twitter.com/7T5KwnbwPM
(Submitted by Dan Overton
from the Forever Awezome FB page) pic.twitter.com/bswcZ01dGb
Let me just slip in this reference. pic.twitter.com/f0h2vpgus0
CostCo FTW. (Submitted by Lee Erickson) Reminds me of that joke: "He was so deep in the closet he could see N... pic.twitter.com/XK1T8Hdy5U
"Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An Instagram."
"Q: How many hipsters does it take to change a bulb?
A: You know, it's some obscure number, you've probably never heard of it..."