Me + Bed = Best couple ever..
The more weird you are, the more fun you are..
No I wasn't ignoring you, I had to go walk my unicorn..
I already want to take a nap tomorrow..
Zombies eat brains, you're safe..
Experts say caffeine is bad for you, fat is bad you, sugar is bad for you...
But don't worry, because that's bad for you too.
Don't break anyone's heart; they only have one. Break they're bones. They have over 200 of them..
The problem with the world are the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid people are full of confidence.
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept..
Intelligence is like underwear. It's important that you have it but there's no need to show it off.
Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, and my attitude depends on who you are.
Society needs both optimists and pessimists. For example, an optimist invented the airplane while a pessimist invented the parachute..
When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say "Didn't you read my tweets???"
Some fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time..."
Others begin with "If elected, I promise..."
My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL."
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot.
As I watched the dog chasing his tail, I thought "Dogs are easily amused." Then I realized I was watching the dog chase his tail.
Pain is nature's way of saying, "Don't do that."
Painkillers are mankind's way of saying, "Just watch me."
If a tree falls in the forest but you don't hear about it on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or MySpace, did it really happen?
Google: I know everything.
Facebook: I know everyone.
Internet: Without me, you're nothing.
Electricity: Keep talking fools.
50 shades of done with this semester..
shit i don't like: Mondays😞 Math 😒 📊 Slow texters📱 Waking up early💤 Being wrong❌ Being bored👎 Low battery📲 Hoes🙅 Drama🔊.
I smile but you'll never know what I'm feeling..
The Eiffel Tower has been lit up in the colours of the South African flag to grieve over Nelson Mandela's death: pic.twitter.com/hLnZjQRBkW
Headphones in, music on, problems out..
I always have time for tweeting, sleeping, eating, texting, listening to music..
Me in class: Wait.... What happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? What??
lf homework is work, then why am i not getting paid..
Be with someone who's proud to have you 👌..
Birthday at age 5: "Wow! Look at all the presents!" Birtday Now: "Damn, Look at these notifications!".
S.T.U.D.Y = Singing, Tweeting, Unlimitid Texting, Dreaming, Yawning..
I text you because I want to have a conversation with you, not to get one word answers..
My room + internet connection + music + food - homework = Perfect Day!
When I'm alone in my house, every sound is a ghost..
I'm not popular, but I have good friends. I'm not rich, but I have what I need. I may not be liked, but I know I'm loved..
Me: Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on.
Parents: Ok, cool.
Me: Your luggage is outside..
School for 12 years, college for 4 years, then you work until you die. Cool..
mom: why is there a guy climbing up to your balcony?
me: he's my romeo coming to find his juliet.
me: just kidding call the cops..
bring me food and i'll love you forever <3.
I do mini dances when I play a song i like... don't judge me..
do you ever just wake up and go “nope” and roll over and go back to sleep?.
I take forever to get a decent selfie. omg..
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
Me watching Titanic: Maybe it wont hit the iceberg this time!.