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Frankie Boyle

music comedy comedian comedians 1,367,180 followers
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You will wake up to find that you are being fucked by a possessed fire hose
Unclassified (please retweet): Shaker Aamer would like everyone to call US Embassy 020 7499-9000 to demand action on Guantanamo Bay
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Just watching an old concert by #TheDoors there. Complete fucking rubbish.
Had a nightmare about sitting Higher Maths last night. I am 40. Good luck in your exams everybody.
RT "@SimonCowell How amazing is the daft punk single." That should give you some idea of how bad it is
This is not a recession it's a robbery Interview #6 The Firefighter youtube.com/watch?v=7yqnXV… @frankieboyle
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@frankieboyle -the first daytime continuing drama was sponsored by Lux Soap Powder, hence "soap" opera. What's lube? Something like petrol?
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They first got the name "soaps" in the 60s, as lube hadn't been invented #britishsoapawards
Help end #ShakerAamer's suffering and bring him and his family the happiness they have been deprived of for over a decade. #GTMO19
Best llving rapper is a much more difficult question, it would be like choosing the best living composer in 1875
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Glasgow TONIGHT: @robrouse wonderful 'Life Sentences' show ‘A man with genuinely funny bones’ Sunday Times ow.ly/l9wqR
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You're a one man slum
Ah, this is on youtube now. I've written my new book listening to this over and over! youtube.com/watch?v=LHlPUH…
I like the bandage where he tried to slash his wrists in rehearsals #Eurovision
I thought we had Bonnie Tyler? #Eurovision
Bonnie Tyler looks 20 B&H away from having to sing through a tracheostomy #Eurovision
The British should try to win over the crowd by setting their flag on fire #Eurovision
This Justice and Liberty song ends with the Swedes hanging an effigy of Julian Assange #Eurovision
Somewhere Angelina’s precancerous boobs are fighting Jeremy Kyle’s cancer ridden testicle in the ultimate battle of good vs evil.
Eurovision: A dog whistle only gays can hear
What's happening to the prisoners at Guantanamo. A slow death: anonyops.org/post/506621896…#GTMO18
Tickets sales for Fast and the Furious 6 will also work as a kind of unofficial moron census
When anti-marriage equality teenagers at a rally made handwritten cards that went viral, I simply had to respond. buzzfeed.com/mjs538/george-…
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Whatever you think of Beckham, he has lived the dream. The weird dream where you sound like a castrated parrot and are married to a skeleton
I’m not going to have a go at Eurovision. It provides a vital opportunity to shut down Grindr for essential maintenance.
Nigel Farage tried to escape Scottish protestors by hiding in a pub. Which is like trying to hide from a lion by putting on a zebra costume.
Can't decide whether to vote Yes or No in the referendum? Here's a handy helping hand. The English made this. youtu.be/oDpYD8DWG1c
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@frankieboyle fancy giving us some good exposure, firefighters are running 250 miles in 9 days, every station in staffs for charity, RT?
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Blaming the death of children in a house fire on benefit culture then cutting the fire service. Malevolent 4th dimensional reptilian scum.
"Fire Service 'needs transforming'" is the BBC headline. Turns out they mean "cuts proposed" but mention that nowhere. Shameful propaganda.
Haste ye tae fuck "@Nigel_Farage: Am okay after the Edinburgh fracas but if that is the face of Scottish Nationalism then it's pretty ugly."
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"@JNPards: @frankieboyle fuck off back to Scotland! Have a dose of heroine on me!" Proud of being English? Learn to spell your language.
Weds 22nd May Morrissey's birthday quiz hosted by none other than @frankieboyle! Join us 9pm over @Mozarmyquiz. Bring a nice wee cake, aye.
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Madonna's carcass looks like something you'd boil up to make soup
Tried to look up this story that Google aren't paying their tax and got redirected to a page showing my own dead body in a wood
Depressed people are, essentially, realists
You can follow @JohnnyVegasReal on here, so do it!
Is Britain's problem with people using chemical weapons that they don't have to buy them from us?
Come and see the last 7 fights in the history of Glasgow's Kelvin Hall. @KelvinBrawl - Wrestling - Music - Party ticketmaster.co.uk/kelvin-brawl-p…
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Lets all go to sleep tonight and try dream a better world to wake up into #Chelseaplanecrash
Can't believe it's roughly 8 months since Tony Scott died youtube.com/watch?v=C44NQB…
Chelsea have just won a European trophy in Amsterdam. For the HIV virus tonight will be like the D Day landings.
Brilliant work by Chelsea, proving once and for all that there is no such thing as Karma
i don't disagree RT @seanbarrett_: @professorgreen you really need to do a fire in the booth
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