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Malcolm G Patten
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Yo mama's so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhoea and his boots leak...
Want to lose weight? STOP eating this tinyurl.com/Size14To4 QED
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
Marriage is a wonderful invention. Then again, so is a bicycle repair kit ~ Billy Connolly
I don't care WHO you are, you're not walking on the water while I'm fishing!
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Time is limited so, I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right ~ Lance Armg
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
‘Water into Wine' and 'Loaves and Fishes' were pretty good, but 'Oregano into Primo Mexican Weed' was truly impressive
In big print: "Jesus Loves You" In fine print: "Everybody else thinks you're an asshole" ~ Bumper sticker
Don't take your business cards to a social meeting. Let others give you theirs...
Above all, don't fear difficult moments. The best comes from them ~ Rita Levi-Montalcini. Italian scientist, senator, Nobel Prize winner
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red
What's the smartest thing a man can say? 'My wife says...'
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another ~ Proverbs 27:17
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Rumour has it that only 3 commandments were offered initially. When it was determined that it was for free, well...
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Never be afraid to do something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark; professionals built the titanic …
Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window.
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The truth is rarely pure and never simple ~ Oscar Wilde
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To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Thanks to NPC for giving me this chance of a life time: Reneson ~ tinyurl.com/WP-NPC
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A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
NASA reports that galaxies are speeding away from earth at 90,000 miles a second. What do you suppose they know that we don't?
Do you know people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing?
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best ~ Oscar Wilde
The Rothschilds can start or prevent wars. Their word could make or break empires ~ Chicago Evening American
He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding ~ Proverbs 15:32
I figured I’d give LeadPages a shot. Glad we did. :-) tinyurl.com/AwesomeLeadPag…
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good…
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Two eyebrows are better than one.
Do we even use these two most popular platforms to monetise our business effectively? tinyurl.com/SproutSocialDB
So the Jews were previously unaware that murder, theft and perjury were immoral?!?
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours…
My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.
"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish."
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!
If you find any blog post that is interesting, post it to your own blog ~ tinyurl.com/LeadsLeapNow
**Law of Reciprocity** So much value they'll not want to do business with anyone else! ~ tinyurl.com/LawOfReciproci…