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Malcolm G Patten
Luck is not chance, it's toil. Fortune's expensive smile is earned ~ Emily Dickinson (1830 ~1886) American poet
Yo mama's so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors!
"The Religious Right aren't, and Scientific Creationism isn't."
If you're always right, something's wrong
Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red
With this utility, I can now handle Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Instagram & Pintrest in one place tinyurl.com/SproutSocialDB
Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one ~ W C Fields
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best ~ Oscar Wilde
Single women complain that all good men are taken. Married women complain about their husbands. We shall never win!
If Christianity was morality, Socrates would be the Saviour ~ William Blake
Character is much easier kept than recovered ~ Thomas Paine (1737 ~1809) American political theorist & writer
The last time we mixed religion and government people were burned at the stake ~ Bumper sticker
God is a drunken college freshman from some alien race and we're his science fair project. We got third place
How can we keep tabs on it all? Well, part of the answer may be to use Social Media Dashboards tinyurl.com/HootsuiteDB
Only Christians would send you to Hell. Other religions think you are there already. Hell is a 12th Century fiction of the Catholic Church…
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company ~ Mark Twain
It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours ~ Budda
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Cramming for their finals!
Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!
There is an exception to every rule, except this one
God is a placebo for your own mortality ~ Robert Barron
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx
Retweeted by Malcolm G Patten
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist ~ Epicurus (341-270 BC)
The Independent Business Owners website is growing exponentially: ibosocial.com/flpteam
The great god Ra, whose shrine once covered acres, is filler now for crossword puzzle makers
Great taste no pain? This girl is the real deal. I bought the lot! sharethiswith.me/recommends/Gre…
All men would still really like to own a train set…
When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I…
I intend to live forever. So far, so good …
See God? That is the easiest thing in the world. He always appears to me in the bottom of the tenth glass of beer...
I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don't know what size she wear…
To most christians the Bible is like a software licence. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and clic 'I agree'
**Amazon Domination** Can you imagine generating $328,107.17 selling stuff on Amazon? ~ tinyurl.com/LLAmazonDomina…
Why did the elephant bring toilet paper to a party? Because he was a party pooper
Everything has a natural explanation. The moon is not a god but a great rock and the sun a hot rock ~ Anaxagorus (475 BC)
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough sand.
The only one of your children who does not grow up and move away is your husband …
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
All art is quite useless ~ Oscar Wilde
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death
Keep up to-date with everything LeadPages and lots of free stuff! tinyurl.com/LPConversionCa…
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once :)
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before...
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip
Why is it called Alcoholics ANONYMOUS when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?