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Eric Schwartz

Arm wrestled world champion @GeoffHaleRaiser at @TulsaLoonyBin last night. 💪Renewed gym membership today. 🏋️‍♀Kw
If the FBI can recover Tom Brady's Super Bowl jersey on foreign soil, they can find Trump's Lokomotiv Moscow jersey. #ComeyHearing
Good luck to all my friends running the #LAMarathon today. I have run it twice, which qualifies me to say you're crazy.
#BoycottHawaii? How do you "make America great again" without the one state all the other states envy?
.@SnoopDogg didn't actually shoot Trump, but he triggered him.
.@billygalewood and I are ready to pinch your cheeks at @LevityOxnard tomorrow. A few tix left at oxnard.levitylive.com/comedian/tw-ev…
#805. Listen to me on @Q959FM with @RicoandMambo right now! See you at @LevityOxnard this Sunday. TIX: oxnard.levitylive.com/comedian/tw-ev…
Infiltrating the airwaves of the #805 to promote my show at @LevityOxnard this Sun. TIX: oxnard.levitylive.com/comedian/tw-ev…
Co hosting with @spencer_fm and his adamantium claws on @TheVibe1033 all morning! Listen live: 1033thevibe.com
J.C. Penney is set to close 13 percent of its stores BECAUSE YOUR DAD HATES SHOPPING.
This Monday we have an Amazing Comedy Show at The Dime You do not want to miss this show! Hope you can make it.
Retweeted by Eric Schwartz
It's only scary if the kind of Meatloaf Chris Christie was forced to eat at the White House was the singer.
The people at @Hasbro are dropping the thimble from Monopoly and I say, "sew what?" 💥💥💥😂😆🤣/sKewex12HB
Get a room, you two! Matt Lauer + Kellyanne Conway #HappyValentinesDay
😡❤️️ Cash me ouside wit dat Valentimes grammar gram you've been axing for!#ValentinesDayy ❤️�jV
 
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