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⚡⚡⚡Chris⚡⚡⚡⚡
So, I make my @bbcquestiontime comeback next week...and Le Pitbull @Joey7Barton is on the panel. What could possibly go wrong......?
Retweeted by ⚡⚡⚡Chris⚡⚡⚡⚡
Tipping it down in the sunny shire :-(
Thunder in madeley! *ScreamsAndClosesCurtains* --- #InARuggedAndManlyWay!
Remember May is Scams Awareness Month! Don't get caught - send us your credit card details and we will help you. pic.twitter.com/lGsiVSLl0B
Well done Sam! Sam took a 1 week intensive course starting on monday. Took his test today Friday and passed... fb.me/2XQ329gRX
Sun is shining!! Windows are down! Stereo is up!! CHASE AND STATUS - BLIND FAITH ON LOUD!!!!! #Summmmmer
I just realized that the word “short” is longer than the word “long." #ItsBeenAQuietNight
My uncle crashed his car into a Lemon tree .... he's still bitter... and twisted
Its a full moon! Its been a lovely day! Lets hope its a "Q" night shift? But if it isn't to be we're ready!! pic.twitter.com/UhUmOnYyXN
Retweeted by ⚡⚡⚡Chris⚡⚡⚡⚡
How easy is it to be an Aussie psychotherapist?? - "Good Day" *good day* "how are you?" .. *No worries* ... "good! Next!!" 😁
If I’ve learned anything in my 21 years, it’s never admit your real age.
It's one of those lovely mornings where you look up to the skies and wonder if today will be a good day pic.twitter.com/61rkjjwpvC
spend the evening having a Text conversation about Eurovision and the songs .Only to find the other person is watching 15 minutes behind you
Yeah very good! Just start the music acts!!!! #Eurovision
Just bought some local farm-fresh free-range artisanal organic grass-fed hormone-free something or other ...that makes me better than you 😁
The police showed me a pic "Is this your wife?" Yes! -I’m afraid it looks like she’s been hit by a bus --I know but she’s good with kids
1 tequila, 2 tequilas, 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teuiqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklas, 9 trwqiukas 10 trewqiñlaskkasdlad.
Here's some rain, just in case your timeline is dry. ``、ヽ``、 、ヽ ` ヽ`、ヽ` `、ヽ`ヽ`、、ヽ `ヽ `、ヽ``、ヽ ` 、ヽ`ヽ `、ヽ`ヽ`、ヽ``、ヽ``、 、ヽ `
If you're 10% Polish, does that make you a tad pole?
I really need to confront my phobia of German sausages,... but I fear the wurst.
The Chuckle Brothers have just been signed up by British Gas, .... to meter you. #ICrackMyselfUp
Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, "How do you fire the gun?" Lololololo...l
Heeyyyyyyyyyy Macarena .... Aiiii
#SaturdayNightChatUpLines --- Did you fall from heaven??? .... It's just, it looks like you landed on your face. :-(
We parked it. But some spanner left the handbrake off and it moved!!! :-( 😳😔�#avfcapic.twitter.com/ldznaDaCj3aCj3
Don't worry! We have a cunning plan!!! #avfc *Puts head in hands and slumps forward* 🙈🙈
Paul Daniels has just tweeted his next tour dates. He's calling the tour "Back Despite Popular Demand" - which, be fair, is pretty funny.
Retweeted by ⚡⚡⚡Chris⚡⚡⚡⚡
Meanwhile Ronaldo has gone off injured for Real after 8 minutes! Damn boots... pic.twitter.com/yUvWoR28dy
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6. Steady stream of fans still making their way into the Etihad Stadium. Traffic has caused all kinds of chaos tonight it seems!
Retweeted by ⚡⚡⚡Chris⚡⚡⚡⚡
Ohhhh no!!! The villa match commentary is on talksport and not radio 5!!! Now have to put up with Stan collymore and his whiny voice!!