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Heather B. Armstrong
12 and a half years old. Almost exactly.
My friend @heraceinthehole bought a maroon 1973 Triumph TR6 with only 19,000 miles. Marlo was more than a little impressed.
5-yr-old: running around looking for the puppy purse that is slung across her body. Me: Silent, taking puffs from an invisible cigarette.
I found The Puppy that has been missing for two months. Not quite sure how I'm going to top this spectacular feat come Christmas.
Tinder but specifically for prospective sister wives.
For the first time in her life the 10-yr-old said, "I'm too tired!" when I woke her up for school. PAYBACK IS DELICIOUS.
#tbt to 1978 and the owl macramé that is the source of all my nightmares
My love for this child is wild and vibrant and almost blinding despite the fact that she hasn't ever fixed me a hot dog.
Working toward memorizing "Concerto Romantique, mvt. 1" by Rollin. She improves exponentially by the day.
The many thunderstorms we experienced today were loud and heavy and unusual and SO AWESOME
5-yr-old types "kmnfwczatyoplae" into a text document, points to it and says, "That's Spanish for 'I don't like green beans.'"
"Only boy dogs die. Except the cute ones. Cute boy dogs live forever." - my 5yr-old, the scientist.
Today we got to meet Leta's best friend's two newly adopted Italian Greyhounds. This one is named Indie. Marlo's brain exploded because they are so tiny and cute, and now I will borrow a saying from @kristenhowerton. Marlo is demanding that I shrink both Coco and Chuck to this size, but because that
Hey, @gbooner look who is your spitting image. Such a healing time spent with my cousin's daughter today.
She's resisting falling asleep while sitting up which has to be one of the more assholish characteristics of being a dog: YOU HAVE NO PLACE TO BE. YOU HAVE NO DEADLINE. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO REMEMBER WHEN AND WHERE TO PICK ANYONE UP. Just lie down and go to sleep for crying out loud.
"I'm going to be really nice and think about letting you have a bite." - 5yr-old on the meal I just paid for.
Thursday night piano lessons and the commutes into the sunset resume
A somewhat theatrical start to the next ten months: dooce.com/2014/09/03/sch… fb.me/2TB7OzUmj
Dogs after baths are adorably pathetic
First day of kindergarten. Yes, "a puppy purse" was on the list of required supplies.
Thank you, Howertons, for the hospitality. Such a fantastic weekend, and I didn't destroy anyone's cupcakes!
Loving SoCal with my younger one. She is not going to want to say goodbye to @kristenhowerton and family. Thank you so much, Jafta and India and Kembe and Kari's for taking her in.
Late lunch but it should always be this good
This summer's theme of water continues
You guys, I am hanging out with Christians. Sadly Mark Howerton is not currently #shirtlessmark but this, this? This is Tim Taber and apparently he speaks to god. @timtaber
Righ before getting gelato. Marlo borrowed a pair of boots that match her puppy purse. Who wouldn't? @kristenhowerton
SLC -> Orange County, let's hope @kristenhowerton and family can handle all of this.
Looking at kittens with Marlo at Best Friends Animal Shelter. She can touch and cuddle while I stand a safe distance away, otherwise my eyes swell to the size of a basketball and my nose will run like a fire hose. I will admit that they are cute. Deadly, but cute.
My mom bought this thing for Marlo and to thank her I am going to poop on her front lawn.
#tbt 1991, holding my now 23-yr-old niece who was then newborn
View from my run this morning
She took Back to School night very seriously. Something tells me she's going to end up in a graduation gown flashing leg and her generation's version of Adidas.
“But if you want it to heal, it just takes time” dooce.com/2014/08/26/sta… fb.me/39ZhOOD8t
Did @nytimes conclude grown adults Robin Williams or Philip Seymour Hoffman "no angel" bc they 'dabbled in drugs'? pic.twitter.com/b6wOWJkw6C
Retweeted by Heather B. Armstrong
“My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still”... fb.me/71cAp0ZCQ
Someone started fifth grade today. That someone's mother then curled up in a ball and cried.
About to take off on the Mountain Coaster. Her glasses are safely elsewhere.
The most detailed side-by-side telling of each eyewitness account of the Mike Brown murder in chronological order youtube.com/watch?v=fRbiEZ…
Retweeted by Heather B. Armstrong
Birthday party at a chocolate factory. We all got an Oompa Loompa.
Movie with my baby by lamplight. Cramming in the end of summer.
Just played "Let's Go Crazy" for the 10-yr-old to show her what I was listening to at her age and she goes, "A song about an elevator??"
Ryan Gosling was the 1st actor to make me want a pillowcase with his face on it. #FirstLoveFriday #TheBestOfMe pic.twitter.com/53Ubx0qayo