"It's 11:11 make a wish!!!" .... Nope, didn't work. You're still tweeting.
It's not Boys II Men either you morons. Thats just as bad as Boys to Men
Boyz II Men ABC BBD... if you didn't sing that as you read it then you are not a child of the 90s
It's 'Boyz II Men' NOT 'Boys to Men'
Oh your graduating? Aw how sad. Now all that shit that makes you cool now just makes you a douchebag
If you post pictures of yourself every damn day, you may need professional help. Or maybe a punch in the face.
Its always awkward as shit seeing people from your past that look completely different
Twitter- Giving a voice to those that don't deserve it since 2006
Fake skin, fake hair, fake boobs... and you expect me to tell the truth? Your whole life is a lie
Seriously, no one on Twitter cares about your relationship. In fact, it makes most of us sick.
Every trending topic every single day has to do with tv. Americans are so fat and lazy.
Wow... the TTs are especially shitty tonight
There is no reality. Only perception.
If you don't know how to properly interject cuss words to emphasize a point, but just spout them randomly, stop fucking doing it.
I liked you better before I had met you
You're in high school... chill the fuck out. Nothing in your life is that important.
GOP: "We want to repeal Obamacare!" What do you want to replace it with? "Uhh..... as we said we want to repeal Obamacare"
I'm searching old versions of websites at web.archive.org
... Cool as shit
Working late... what is goin on Twitter
Avoiding the Chelsea result until after work failed miserably, so watching at my work desk.
So, Messi=Great and Torres=Crap, when Torres # of European Goals > Messi # of European Goals
Fernando Torres has scored more goals  than Lionel Messi  in Europe this season
LMAO the women are really screwed here pic.twitter.com/Y09bCenXkT
The new sign I posted on our fence at work pic.twitter.com/WSe7Knfc7l
If you push me to answer a question I don't want to answer, and don't like the answer I do give, thats your problem not mine.
More of my friends need to either get jobs where they can use Twitter like me or get fired so I have more to talk to
If you think it is funny to run over animals, I'd love to run over you
Note to coworkers: "Hey, do you want to go to lunch with me" does NOT mean "Hey, drive me somewhere and buy my lunch"
Not going to be able to see the Chelsea match until after work, so no tweeting/texting me about it
A hundred years from now, everyone reading this will be equally skinny. Skeleton skinny.
I hate loud talkers... whats the point
Being so tired that you can't sleep sucks.
If you expect your milkshake to bring me to your yard, it had better have Baileys in it.
92% of Sioux City people unfollow me within two weeks. I'm doing something right.
Sorry GOP, #IRS
corruption is not a reason to no longer pay taxes.
Trying to get myself motivated to go mow the lawn. Not going so well.
Stop complaining about your kids. You made that choice.
have children when you can't even spell "contraception"
have an iPhone when on government assistance
Stop focusing so much on the past that you don't even notice whats in front of you now
Isn't it time for another white guy?
Being beautiful has nothing to do with how you look