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Dylan Jordan
When a fella gives you the what's up the only what's up he's interested in is the what's up with his dick and your fanny
"call me daddy" how about you go fuck yourself
Calling yourself daddy isn't cute it's perverted haha
I am so happy omg
He's that type of person we debate everything because we have such different views but he's so nice and genuine it's weirdddd I love it
"When I'm done my exams we can go on that cute date on the beach" like omg someone just said this to me that I know talk about sweetheart
Pizza hut, orange is the new black, candles and a few munchies this is the best loner Friday night ever
I haven't watched orange is the new black and I honestly feel disconnected from society because of it hahah
It's fair to say that @ladygaga earned some SERIOUS @RIAA heavy metal this month. Congratulations! @Interscope
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UPDATE: Riri = 6.919.795 Lady Gaga = 6.842.559 RT to help Gaga return to 1st place! #MTVAwardsStar Lady Gaga
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Someone I don't know randomly send me a snap saying I'm a lesbian ok cool do you want a round of applause lol
No offense aka a phrase used to make insults seem socially acceptable tbh
I'm insulted that you think I need dating tips omfg…
I want a sexy scumbag in a tracksuit to rape me tbh
Gandalf was a cool wizard
Mario party 4 was the best like jumping all over those bitches and robbing their coins when you got big and shit
your sarcasm is uglier then you and if that's the case that must be some shitty sarcasm lol
who remember mario kart double dash on the game cube that was my absolute life
"baby yams hanging sideways" hgbjfbjgjkh omggg 😭 @StasMarleyy:"
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is there any hot gay people on twitter like i cant find any except pornstars
I got my gay pride tickets for that mother party I can't wait omg
despise people who go out of their way to start fights & attack people on night outs just cause they've a bit of drink on them, it's horrid
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someone fuck me and by someone i don't mean life
Jurassic park 2 where the black girl swings around those poles and kicks the dinosour out the window, that really inspired me as a kid tbh
I used to get so pumped for the weekends now I spend most of them sitting in lol
It's very annoying that accounts keep tweeting me to buy fake raybans, no I'd rather choke love thnx tho
Can we talk about how amazing @MissFameNYC 's new album is
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Just sneezed and felt the snot leave my nose but can't find it on my shirt or face or couch. Where the fuck is it?
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I don't think I could cope on public transport without headphones tbh
@DylJordanxo I'm so going rock make up after the tutorials😍😂
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I will bby, I'm going to start tutorials soon…
Retweeting a tweet is not going to give you good luck lmao 😂
I can't belive my grand mothers making me take Out the garbage I'm rich fuck this I'm going home I don't need this shit
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Alyssa Edwards is so funny and she doesn't even realise it
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Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the 76th Hunger Games. #MockingjayPart2 💕💥
An old lady was on the bus earlier saying she's getting a pram and blanket for her dog. I've heard it all now 😂😂
@DylJordanxo thanks for the follow ❤️ you are pretty cute 😏 xoxo
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I'm loving mileys New song nightmare it's unreal
It looks like there's cocaine along my nose, jesus am i really that bad at taking drugs lol
Tony bennett had a heart attack in reversals with gaga so their show is cancelled tonight omg i hope he's okay
I was in a brilliant mood earlier today and now i feel like shit these mood swings are starting to get very annoying ugh
“Maybe a soulmate is someone who understands the very deepest parts of you without you having to explain.”
Retweeted by Dylan Jordan
I just played one of them videos where it starts screaming sex noises and I thought it was someone stirring a pot, omg I'm so embarrassed

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