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Dan Willis
Well, Ive got a head cold, which isnt as fun as Eskimo oral sex play (Cold Head); Ive till Wed'day 2 get better, then it's @melbournefringe
F#ck me, #Pistorius is gonna walk.. Who'dve put money on that?
#Gym Day 1- intentions high, put off leaving house for additional 3 mins, to log onto Twitter, tweet & hope it doesn't tire me out too much
Had a photo shoot today, and it showed me all the mirrors in my life are incorrect, and I'm about 10kg overweight, darn phantom pregnancy!
I think #Disney are now officially taking the piss.. #starwars will never be the same again!
Went to the loo at #bunnings, trying to leave but this is on the door, the entire outside world is out of order!!!
Right, Monday, you've arrived.. And in the fabled words of #Garfield, "I'm awake and outta bed, what more do you want?????"
Does anybody out there remember which series of the #ATEAM it was where a helicopter crashed into a mountain, everyone walked away coughing?
Whilst in Edinburgh my wife bought a 2nd hand cot, collected it and I now have to assemble it, without instructions, oh joy, oh joy, oh joy!
#indyref @YesScotland @UK_Together #yes #bettertogether After making the effort to each day of the Edinburgh...
After circumnavigating a huge chunk of the world, I'm now back home in #Melbourne, one night to sleep, then back to work- @melbournefringe !
Returning home from the #Edinburgh festival, I've found myself stuck in Dubai airport for 6hours... Simple I...
Sat in the Heineken Bar of Dubai airport.. They've got quite the choice of draught beer- Heineken or Extra Cold Heineken.. Home in one day!
In #London for two nights of socialisation before back to #Melbourne, my beer belly is almost as big as my wifes baby belly..
Everything I know about guns I learned from the A-Team, they're safe, highly inaccurate and never need reloading & no-one ever gets hurt
2nd attempt at a sleep-in after #Edfringe, scuppered by my 18 month old niece & the night garden. Is this training for impending fatherhood?
Well, #Edfringe 2014 is over and done with, dusted, busted and custard.. I had what I'd rate as my best Edinburgh...
@benrossleigh @edfringe @danwillis007 @larrydeancomedy @DHughesy Looking forward to hearing your new repertoire upon your return, Ben.
Retweeted by Dan Willis
One #Edfringe show to go- 1.15pm, the last group of Fringe goers to be saved from the impending #Zombie apocalypse, then I might have lunch
"Australia: A Whinging Poms Guide" has now completed its #Edfringe run, 1 more Jock&Geordies and Walking Dead, then it's snooze time for me.
Last weekend of #EdFringe! Our fave shows include @Broken_Holmes' Upper Lip @danwillis007's Walking Dead @Kill_Beast's He Had Hairy Hands
Retweeted by Dan Willis
Pure #Edfringe moment; Waiting for @obiecomedian, a band kicked off, bar emptied leaving me as 100% of the audience. And on they played!
Confusion today at my #WalkingDead show- entrance isn't on Victoria str, it's 1min away off Cowgate, signage repaired tomorrow! Apologies!!
Hailstones this afternoon in #Edinburgh now that's Scottish summertime for you! Icicles on my #edfringe posters!
#edfringe anyone fancy an incredibly white room for what is apparently a bargain rate??? 2 free teabags included..
#edfringe, crowds have been great, shows fun & beer tasty. Now would someone please adopt @obiecomedian so he can stop sleeping on my floor!
With 1hr notice, my venue owner tried to cancel all shows & move them to a 6ft square dancefloor with no chairs.. I protested somewhat..
Zombie fans at #edfringe! Need help with your survival plan? @danwillis007 has some handy tips! Here's my review: #fb
Retweeted by Dan Willis
3 hours with @mikebelgrave followed by Obie, Leslie and Stevie, Jocks and Geordies et al, I may have been a bit tipsy last night..
It’s time! The first ever premiere of "A Place With No Name" right now on Twitter #MJXSCAPE…
Retweeted by Dan Willis
Tonight, I played international pool champion @obiecomedian and having just beaten him, I'm now world champion.. Anyone want a game?
. @danwillis007 great show mate, all walking dead fans / zombie dodgers should go see this!
Retweeted by Dan Willis
I've now done my daily lecture on the #zombie apocalypse, not only saving a crowd, but also @kaihumphries now to whinge on about #australia
Bumped into @kaihumphries en route to my show, now I've got an extra audience member, that's showbusiness!
I had a particularly nasty #Indian takeaway last night in #Edinburgh now need suggestions fir a decent one to redress the balance! Rsvp!
Just had a load of scar tissue removed from my legs, now to get on with my #zombie show- more agile and less meaty than yesterday!
1st Tuesday of #Edfringe is in its final quarter.. Twitter a buzz with 2-4-1 offers, personally I'm doing 2 for the price of none, everyday.
Given my current predicament of shinsplints, I may have to admit that #Usher is a better #MJ dancer than me..…
Thanks to @EddyBrimson a& @TheRichWilson Im now suffering a giant caffeine come down, damn that pot of tea; I refuse to blame the biscuit..
I'm here lady, bit Jet lagged.. But I'm intending to be ready to roll in about 24hrs!! Long night of writing ahead!!
Arrived in #Edinburgh, slept, strolled, caught up with @GlennWool and @anildesaicomic for a beer, slept some more.. I'm truly a wild child..
In #Newcastle after a crazy set of flights- Melbourne/Singapore/Dubai/Toon.. Now forcing my body to stay awake till midnight, oh joy!..
After gigs in #Adelaide and some time with @AdelaideBarmies I'm now back in #Melbourne, Sunday roast is on the menu, no #afl players invited
As a #Viz and #Profanisaurus reader, I can quite confidently say "I won't be having the pork belly"
Just arrived in #Adelaide - the airport now looks like the set for a Star Trek movie..
Got up at 5.30am this morning to get to #Adelaide, am now thinking the extra $30 for an afternoon flight would've been a worthwhile luxury.
#Vodafone just gave me 1.5gb of free data.. As I never use my data allowance anyhow, I'm guessing I should start getting into HD porn ASAP