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Dan Willis

Just when you think you've got over JetLag, it pops by to say hello.. Hello 2.40am.. Am now gonna have milk and yawns, see if that helps..
If you've ever doubted that #gaymarriage should be legalised in #Australia you are so wrong
Lesson 1 at #rottofest - whilst eating a sandwich, never take you eyes off it.. The Seagulls and Quokkas work together in an evil alliance
Left sunshine in the UK & arrived in Australia to rainstorms. Thus to answer any questions- "No, I didn't bring the weather with me"
We've arrived back in Australia, I've managed to hold back on my Grumpiness- I think I'm saving it all for when the Jet Lag kicks in!!
Am now sat in Heathrow Terminal 4.. 28hrs to go, I'd rate my jolly rating at a 7 out of 10, not bad as I'm a natural grump in the morning
After 1hr sleep I skipped merrily onto a 4.25am bus, in 30hrs I'll b in Perth. Im excited, in 25 sleepless hours I may b slightly less jolly
You can make jokes about anything, just not mexicans. That's crossing the border. #racism #sickipedia
Things I learn from #facebook 1. A friend isn't truly a friend until they've advertised fake sunglasses on your profile page.
Using toilets on #transpennine express is like chicken pox.. Inevitable, uncomfortable, initial itching with potential permanent scarring.
Am watching Insomnia (#Alpacino #RobinWilliams) I need to have a serious chat to the editor. 30mins shorter and this would be a great movie.
#edfringe2016 is now over. I can plainly say, job done. In the most businesslike manor, twas a success- and that's how I like it! :-)
Last day of Fringe.. A record audience for the Ashes.. Best Jocks and Geordies of the run, and I'm one gig from completing #edfringe2016
The 4th #Edfringe #Ashes Comedy Test is today, #England are leading #Australia 2:1 in the series.. Can the...
Today #TheAshes comes to #edfringe #England take on #Australia in the Comedy Showdown to rule them all; 2.50pm @ Liquid Rooms.. #comedyashes
There was incident last night involving my daughter and a sticker book.. The police have not been informed.
It is Biz eeeeeee.. #edfringe is packed oot today.. There's always one mental weekend, and this is it.. So get out there and get mental.
#edfringe the rain is falling, I suspect there'll be some sunshine in September, perhaps for 3 or 4 minutes just after the festival ends.
Day 4 of #edfringe and I've diversified my breakfast to include crumpets, if I go all rock and roll will someone please stop me.
Am back at St Dominic's Catholic club, couple pints with my new stepdad, first time here for years! It still makes me grin like an idiot!
5 kids, a dog and a trampoline.. To describe this place as a madhouse seems a tad rough on insane asylums!
My wife has just caught a Mr Mime Pokemon, she's well excited and I have no idea what she's talking about! #PokemonGO
#applestore have said its not water damage, but they don't know why the phone won't switch on.. So they want me to buy a new phone! #Genius
Waiting at the Apple Store, any guesses how long it'll take the genius to claim water damage and tell me there's nothing they can do? #Apple
I'm gonna tell my wife to stop nagging me, then I'm gonna tell her again every 5 minutes for the rest of the day. That should do the trick..
I need some recommendations for decently addictive #iPhone games- long journey ahead! I've got #angrybirds #plantsvzombies and similar!!
Am @PunchDrunkBlyth 2 Highmarket, Ashington. Talking silliness and the like this evening.. Show starts at 8pm. Come along, they have beer.
#AndyMurray -amazing tennis player, but atrociously boring drinking stories.. He needs to do some proper Glasgow training for next year!
22hrs on a plane, 3hrs on a train, then a 30min car ride.. We are now in York, 2 months of fun ahead of us. But for now- Jetlag!
I've 2 sprained ankles, and am about to arrive at the dentist for a root canal.. Which end of my body will feel worse? I'll know in 30mins
RiP #CarolineAherne Creator of 3 of my Top Ten favourite comedy series from the last 30yrs.. Simply one of the funniest people ever..
Last night I sprained both my ankles at the same time- how's that for multitasking??
On a train back from Richmond after doing my face open mic- station 59, great night tonight, and there was cake as well!
If Gary Glitter released an album of Nursery Rhymes & topped the charts. I still wouldn't be as embarrassed to be English as I am this week.
#MCFC #MUFC #THFC #LFC #PremierLeague currently has #Bournemouth & #Burnley in the top 4, youre nowehere 2 be seen!
Well, #UKIP have had their Christmas & #Brexit is happening.. On the plus side @calvinandhobbes are on form today!
#Brexit voters in #Sunderland know nothing about the #EU, They just saw the word #LEAVE and wished it possible. #Newcastle voted #Remain
#bbcsportsday Can #EURO2016 switch to 12pm Kick-Offs? These mornings are killing me in Australia! Go on #UEFA, I'll buy #Platini a pint!
Nearly a full afternoon of parenting, looking after my little girl has been not too different from hanging with @BlokeFranklin less #VB tho
Such is the life of the travelling comedian- i have a 6hr wait before a 4hr flight.. I'll be home just in time for it to not be #fathersday
Only a 5hr drive from #Geraldton to #Perth today.. Quick snack, snooze and a train ride to #Fremantle for final #WA gig in #littlecreatures
Bit of a drive, Margaret River to Geraldton. 100km further than London/Inverness, quite a commute. Australian gigs can be a tad spread out.
4hr flight to #Perth, 3hr drive to #MargaretRiver, 1 gig then back tomorrow & I used to moan about the drive to #Portsmouth from #London
Train to Fremantle was 15mins late, what better way to spend the time? #orlandolove
Thanks @SASsoftware 4 ruining @PlantsvsZombies - forcing 15sec adverts every 3mins, It's like dysentery, only without any known cures..
#Brexit & #DonaldTrump campaigns are eerily similar. Neither letting things like "Facts" or "The truth" get in the way of a good soundbite.
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