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Dan Willis

Newcastle you've been special, London now has my attention, once I've traversed via Thirsk and Northallerton, I'm on the dream train!
Tonight I'll be entertaining the masses at The Chillingham Arms Pub, come along and heckle the shit out of me! Doors open 730pm
In one hours time I'll be back in Newcastle Upon Tyne. 3 days of Punch Drunk gigs then The Chillingham on Thursday. Possibly a Greggs Pasty.
It's my Dads birthday today. I remember thinking he was ancient when he turned 40.. As I'm now 44 I think I'll show 66 a bit more respect..
Friday night, I've stayed sober, stayed awake all day. Jetlag won't know what's hit it- I've high hopes to a return to normality.
Melbourne to Manchester, Manchester to York, York to Haxby.. This tours heating up! I'm needing melatonin and a good nights sleep..
4hrs sleep, not too bad for the first attempt at defeating Jet-Lag. It's 5am, if I lie here with my eyes shut for 2hrs, I'll call that a win
It'd appear I've brought the #Melbourne Winter with me to the UK. Hope you enjoyed the heatwave people, it's gonna rain till I leave!
Just arrived back in the UK from Australia, thru passport control, the first thing that awaits you- 24hr Spar & Greggs the bakers. #home
Perth it's been emotional! I MCd for Chris Rock, played Manning Bowls Club and ate Sumo Salad. Job done, home to Melbourne!
Ireland have been granted International Test status. @astanleycomedy having already represented England, is unavailable for the Leprechauns
MCing tonight in Perth, just happened to get the pleasure of introducing Mr Chris Rock. Here's @SonsofFred photo bombing me.
#British people enjoying the #Weather don't get used to it; I'm arriving next week and I'm expecting the Australia Winter to follow me!
Colouring in, officially my favourite lesson of all time, if only there was a degree in it. I wasted all those years on Computer Sciences!
After a week of muesli for brekky, I've just had poached eggs; it's amazing how a diet makes you appreciate a couple of eggs.
Don't be the height you are, be the height for the rollercoaster you want to ride on!
It's time to register for Edinburgh- me & Aussie @MickNeven need a title for our double header. Any suggestions for 2 middle aged blokes?
#FairyBread Successfully tricking Australian children into eating carbs since 1897.
Just done a charity gig for #welovemanchester chatting to ex #Manutd & #Denmark player Jesper Olsen, his English is so good he sounds irish!
Saturday night in with the family.. Very nice indeed.. Monsters inc. followed by a couple of cans of beer.. Tomorrow I shall grow a beard.
In 88% Catholic Ireland Gays can Marry & be elected PM. In 48% non-religious Australia, things are sat quite comfortably in the mid 1970's.
It's 13°c in #Melbourne and I'm needing way more than a T-Shirt. Turns out you can take the Boy from #Newcastle AND Newcastle from the Boy..
Hail storms and rain in Melbourne.. Winter has arrived and it's a good old taste of British Summertime, I couldn't be happier to be grumpy!
Had a business meeting with @MickNeven last night, comedic geniuses together; we almost came up with 2 entire ideas.. But settled on one..
Waiting for Mummy at the pub.. who needs a pint when you've got #PlayDough in a @Vegemite jar!
Just touched down in Melbourne.. that's it, all done, back home.. tonight big family meal, tomorrow it's back to the planning desk..
Am on a train to Wollongong for my first non comedy duties after @fringe_world @adelaide_fringe #micf @ComedyFestPerth @Syd_Comedy_Fest
Just completed festival season 2017 with 2 MC jobs tonight in Sydney. that's me done, 5 months, 348 gigs; I'm already planning next year!
Idiot driver tells us, cross platform for T3 train, it was a T2 train, now waiting 30mins to go backwards @sydneyinfoline @TransportforNSW
Straight from my last show of #controlaltdelete to MC @HappyEndings_au now that's a Friday night. @Syd_Comedy_Fest is ticking nicely
#Bronte Beach, with my favourite facility- a special pool where the sharks can't eat you; not so much required in #tynemouth or #Whitley
#tamarama you've a top notch beach with a good old #Tyneandwear feel about it today.. and I also salute the quality of your public loos!
#bondibeach doing its best impersonation of #whitleybay now that's what I call a good #English day at the beach!
There's currently 100% chance of rain, so I'm off to Bondi for lunch.. It'll be just like Whitley bay in the height of summer..
1st show @Syd_Comedy_Fest rocked & the youngest crowd member was 25. More middle aged computer based fun tonight at the Enmore Theatre 7pm!
It's the last 5 days of festival season; Sydney is the host for my last set of solo shows till Edinburgh- on Monday I sleep, Tuesday I diet.
Gold Coast it's been a pleasure! Now it's time to return to Melbourne for my fave gig of the year- Hosting Pint of Origin for @GoodBeerWeek
#MothersDay #MothersDay2017 Breakfast with wife and daughter- and we almost got both to look in the same direction for 2 seconds.. Almost..
I'm in Burleigh Heads on the Gold Coast, anyone fancy a pint?
Off to Brisbane tomorrow; thus it's time to give the dog a massive walk. She's getting dogsat by her Grandad, he walks for no man..
I'm in #Perth, #NUFC kick off at 7pm tonight (Perth time). It's the #championship decider & absolutely no Channel is televising it! #sulk
Great fun with my fellow geeks @ComedyFestPerth last night, only one more Computer Comedy show to go- tonight 8.30pm…
I don't know if I've just bought a deodorant, or a lifestyle.. either way, $2.90 is a bargain, and my armpits now have a VIP area! #playboy
#Perth you are sunny & warm, I'm taking notes at the minute, which I'm then going to take East & lecture #Melbourne on #Australian weather!
Tonight's my first show at Perth Comedy Festival, things certainly aren't as hectic as Fringe.. not sure if that's a good or bad thing..
I'm in Perth twiddling my thumbs, anyone around? Pretty much everything I had planned today has fallen thru!
My Brother-In-Law @JackCouvela was a #JudgeDredd artist back in the day. Thus Birthday cards from him & @JadeHull are full of Thrillpower!
That feeling when you treat your Daughter to some #UggBoot slippers. Only to discover you've in fact treated your Dog to dinner at the Ritz.
Louis XIV, Bonaparte, The Kaiser and Hitler tried to unite Europe in opposition to Britain. All failed. Now we've brought it on ourselves
Retweeted by Dan Willis
#Championship is decided on Sunday, me in Perth, midday kickoff means a reasonable match time. @SkyFootball aren't showing #NUFC #ratscocks!
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