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Dan Willis

#Falco Gone! I lost my directions to the Danger Zone today! Now who's gonna Rock my Amadeus??? #RIPGlenFrey #RIPFalco
The Heat Is On..!! #RIPGlennFrey .. Now this is getting truly ridiculous.. We're gonna be out of Rock Stars by next week if this keeps up!!
I've just helped my Wife with the cleaning by lifting my legs in the air so she can hoover underneath, born in 1973, stay in 1973
‘You; my room, 10.30, you, 10.45, and bring a friend” Up there with "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside" #AlanRickman #actor #RIP
#RiP #DavidBowie #RipDavidBowie Heavy Metal lost one of it's greats last week.. A multitude of musical genres has just lost its master..
I watched #sharknado2 last night and thoroughly enjoyed it. And I couldn't give a wombats ass who hears about it.
I lost half a tooth to a chicken bone on NYE, I've missed everything chewy for 2 days. Now I'm gonna watch #Starwars whilst eating wine gums
Happy New What??? Ahh, piss and pots; The money I've wasted on chocolate eggs.. Must check calendar next time.. #onlyaweektillhalloween
Illness or none. Tis looking like a mild 25 degrees today, yesterday's 35 nearly killed me. Im a long way from Gosforth! #Christmas delivers
#Christmas with my daughter Dolly & to celebrate the world has given me food poisoning; No grumpy face from me tho! Just repeat loo visits!
Nearly hitting all this years financial targets, today, Washing Machine breaks. Is a new Washer a Business Expense?, I need clean pants..
#NUFC Legend @PavelSrnicekGK is in a coma; I seldom twitter shout; But PAVEL IS A GEORDIE should be screamed by the #Toon to wake him 4 Xmas
Congratulations #JJAbrams on making the joint 3rd best #StarWars movie; A step in the right direction, #BB8 is the pick of the new bunch..
#StarWarsForceAwakens done, I can now sleep knowing spoilers have no power over me! 2.45am; the force may be awake, but I soon will not!
I've just realised whilst waiting in line to see #starwars that everyone dressed as #LandoCalrissian look exactly the same.
Could someone please take #Adele out for a nice meal, some crazy sex, followed by cuddling and conversation. Then call her the next day.
It's been 24hrs of firsts.. My first gig in Rottnest Island last night, and this morning I saw @BlokeFranklin eat solids for breakfast.
Just got given a personal gift by no other than Ms @taylorswift13 the rest of the crowd must be jealous!
I'm old school #MichaelJackson from back in the day, this tune that has got me rockin close to #MJ youtube.com/watch?v=DjUnDQ… @ConradOfficial
For $385 @VirginAustralia have offered to upgrade me; They obviously don't know what #Yorkshire blood means- I'd sell legroom if I could!
Grandads favourite saying was "Careful with that, they don't grow on trees you know", imagine his frustration when I broke his walking stick
Tonight I'll be talking tall stories at the Exford Hotel- @anildesaicomic is in town so it's a grumpy old English comic reunion. 830pm FREE!
Daily #Melbourne debate- shorts or trousers? Those clouds could be rain, blistering heat or Martian hail storms. Or all or none of the above
I still love open mic; All audience has now left, leaving a workshop environment. And the MC is still doing ten mins Inbetween acts. Rock on
Open mic time.. Am about to step onstage to a room, that's pretty much it, a room.. But a nice room, philosophically this gig could go wild.
People of #melbourne, are there more flies than usual, or am I being harassed by the same fly everywhere I go?
Tonight I shall be talking nonsense at the Attik, 255 Chapel street... As will others, 8pm onwards, bring a mule...
Ever wonder what it'd be like to be on a plane that aborts landing 10m from the runway? I'll tell you all about it! Ya gotta love #tigerair
#Brisbane done; as well as @radiokatd @SweatyJester @LindsWebb & co; I got thru these in the @SitDownClub flat
Great @SitDownClub last night, now it's a hot afternoon in Brisbane followed by more silliness at the #Paddo with @Cam_Knight @SweatyJester
Am doing the @SitDownClub in Paddington, #Brisbane tonight.. It is boiling hot.. Do I wear the leather jacket?? Or just pants?? Small pants.
Off to the Gold Coast for a weekend of gigs, it's basically Whitley Bay with sharks, sunshine and more sunshine, did I mention the sunshine?
A question to anyone under the age of nine, does Johnny still have a pigeon, and how's its plumage doing??????
A question to anyone under the age of nine, does Johnny still have a pigeon, and how's its plumage doing?
Outside pool closed today in #Melbourne as it wasn't over 26°C, It's no Whitley Bay- The North Sea separates the men from the testicles..
I got kicked out a casino for racist agenda, sexism & Tresemme misuse; That's the last time I'm playing the Trump card. #DonaldTrump #Trump
#TheWalkingDead #Season6 #NoSpoilers To anyone who's been waiting off on a few episodes before starting to... fb.me/484jjoudS
It's a #philosophising day today on the funnies.. With #melbourne delivering a typhoon yesterday, today drizzle..
#calvinandhobbes and #garfield sharing writing credits today.. Chair related humour indeed :-)
The fact that you can't see what happened next makes me a good parent & not the proud owner of a viral YouTube clip
I'll keep sharing #garfield & #calvinandhobbes, if only to try and motivate #FredBasset & #Hagar to up their games!
#TheWalkingDead.. No spoilers, but f'zombies sake.. I didn't realise that much fecal matter could hit the proverbial fan at once.. #Season6
Of all the #BackToFutureDay predictions, I'm finding Doc Emmett Browns future kinda plausible, but Michael J Fox's a bit shaky..
Although I agree whole heartedly with #garfield, I give full respect for Calvins excuse generation system..
I'm back to sipping tea, reading the #heraldsun debating #garfield or #calvinandhobbes, today I can't separate them.
Jet lag, ouch, ouch.. Going to the UK was a breeze, getting back to Oz is a perfect storm.. I'm praying for Z's (not a #zombie reference)
Crazy 4 days in Britain, now on plane to head back to Australia.. & I used to moan about the #commute from Clapham to the city!
Last night headlining the @TheComicsLounge tonight & then it's off to the UK for one gig then back to Oz, now that's a commute..
Calvins on form today, but #Garfield just gets me in a blokey sex in the city type way..
To celebrate #heraldsun25 I thought I'd get back to the serious issues.. Today #calvinandhobbes just pips #garfield
 




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