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Dan Willis
This is Scottish pizza, served in the traditional way!! #edfringe
It's Wednesday already.. that's about a quarter of the way through #edfringe2015 .. I'm yet to break anything yet, but there's time..
#edfringe2015 kicks off for me tomorrow at Midday, Cabaret Voltaire will bare witness to what is currently a shackle of Rams with potential
No valentines, birthday wishes or bottle of wine for #Australia - 64 was too high a target! #TheAshes2015 #bbccricket #kangaroos #barmyarmy
#Edfringe kicks off in a handful of days; It's basically the start of the school year for me, without the new blazer, pencil case & wedgies
It's 7yrs since Carol Vordermans last countdown, that Pride of Britain gig must pay a mint- 1 nights work & a cougar is funded for life!
For years I've thought my wife suffered from Tourette's, but it turns out I am a c£nt and she just wants me to f£ck off!!
My computer keeps saying it's gonna go to sleep if I don't start supplying it with energy, I've never felt closer to technology in my life
In #newcastle and just passed the cathedral of worship for way too many fellow #geordies
Flight into second hour of delay.. I've used my #Macgyver instinct to make a cot.. Out of my wife!
Flight delayed, have made a playpen out of my own legs, the #Macgyver instinct kicks in again
Cool stuff I've seen in #Auckland today, great sculptures, fire escapes and toilets in the middle of motorways..
Last night of my New Zealand escapades today, 2 shows to do at @ClassicComedyNZ then refreshment and back to family life!
How good is the Classic Comedy club?? You get personalised welcome notes.. Now that's classy!!
Argued with my mate about whether to have Turkish bread prior to or after hitting the pubs- I told him "Pide comes before a crawl"!
Onto gig 7 of my trip to #Perth, tonight takes me to the Charles Hotel for fun, mayhem and a laugh or 2 from 8pm..
I officially nominate Kevin Keegan for #FIFA president, he's a good bloke, loves football and speaks many languages. #kevinkeegan
Good to see a top #English #beer on sale in #Australia for once!!!
Stayed up till 230am watching #NUFC and they actually won.. So it's another year of the same then.. Glory glory Toon United!!
On the plus side, this is the first time in 3 yrs I've seen #NUFC have a full column in the @theheraldsun #Melbourne
Bored on a Thursday night? Got no cash? Need laughs? Come down to the exford, free comedy from 830pm, Ill be talking silliness at some point
Authorities blamed for not giving man support after he was 1st caught pony shagging- what did he want? A stepladder?
Chocolate Tart, 4 Pines Baltic Porter.. What more could you want for a desert? @GoodBeerWeek #PoO15 @Rainbow_Fitzroy
Modus Operandi, not only a life choice, but a top beer.. Slapped down with some spiced lamb! #PoO15 @GoodBeerWeek
I think I may be getting tipsy, stone and wood alt beer, matched with mushroom broth.. #PoO15 @GoodBeerWeek
chuck Norris's single hop red ale, oh alright then, but only if it comes with smoked duck breast #PoO15 @GoodBeerWeek
What's that, course 5 ish, beer 5 ish.. Best MC job ever.. Oh yes, it's 44 Amber from Riverside breweries #PoO15
Amuse-Bouche from the chef; artichoke soup, artichokes make up the best punchline of all time, 3 for a pound at Asda
Rocks Brewery, Rainbow Connection and throw in a beef rib slider.. Now a 3rd of the way thru the night #PoO15
Nomad Breweries, Long Trip Saison.. With pickled prawns, luckily not in the same bowl! #PoO15 @GoodBeerWeek
Course 2, Akasha Brew, Freshwater Pale ale with citrus tuna and Ox tongue.. Oh yeah! #PoO15 @GoodBeerWeek
1 Australia Brewing Company's Pilsner; Light, tasty & a far better use of ABC than Im used to! #poo15 @GoodBeerWeek
Beergustation, 8 craft beers, each with a specially created dish, and I'm MCing :-) @Rainbow_Fitzroy @GoodBeerWeek
Tuesday is Pint Of Origin Night at the Rainbow Hotel, I'll be introducing 8 craft beers, each with matching food; This job just gets better.
First Ben E King, then BB King.. Billie Jean is shitting herself! #talentedkings
My wife just told me to throw a load of crap into the rubbish bin, but I'm confused- All our bins are fantastic!
How does Darth Vader know what you're getting for Christmas?? He feels your presents! #80sjoke
#Parents if you're doing your sons laundry & one sock appears heavier than its twin, ask no questions, simply wash and move on..
As a lifetime #NUFC fan, I've known this for some time now, but the #Leicester #Newcastle game stomped it home.....
Tonight I'm onto night 4 at @TheComicsLounge & if Richard Smith is watching, drop me a msg on Twitter or Facebook, you know who you are
#nufc #NewcastleUnited Manager John Carver watched #Chelsea beat #Leicester last night.. Was he really hoping to...
Last night I followed @taylorswift13 at the @TheComicsLounge, tho it might've been @MrSimonTaylor.. Either way, more fun & mayhem tonight!
I was hoping for a record breaking season from #NewcastleUnited , unfortunately they've got confused as to which record #nufc
Tonight Im MC at the Last Laugh Melbourne, the Atheneum will take host to not 1 but 2 Dans- @dannymcginlay will be talking nonsense as well
Having given this at least 5 minutes of thought... I like #RobertDowneyJr , and given he was booked to promote a...
Tuesday fun had @TheComicsLounge followed by tram madness with @Vranarama & @GreekGeordie, then food followed by drunken gossip, job done!
1st day of wind down- no shows, no comedians to confirm, just nappies & cups of tea; I might even pop into town 4 a last pint with the boys
Tonight at the exford hotel- Best Of British fundraiser spectacular! 5 top British Headliners, all 4 a great cause! Top comedy, great Karma!
Ladies love foreplay & an after sex cuddle.. They basically run on a MYKI system; You've gotta touch on, you gotta touch off.. #Melbourne

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