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Daniel Tosh

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peyton’s achievements are even more impressive when you consider he was born with two faces.
remember, only assholes dress their dogs up for halloween.
couldve been a little more subtle miami, but thx for winning my bet #forandy. now quit f'ing around in the 2nd half!
in what world would a woman be able to keep her job on tv if she got as huge and old as verne lundquist?
for those of you who aren’t as familiar with selena’s body of work as i am, this version might be more enjoyable: bit.ly/1OUV5tU
why? because i know every word to the @selenagomez song ‘good for you’ and i have lots of money. bit.ly/1NU0gvy
before tonight’s new #tosh, get to know the one vegan i don’t mind spending time with. bit.ly/1K0UaVM
friendly reminder: new episode of #tosh in 25 minutes with this urban legend. bit.ly/1IGm7n7
out of respect, i have decided i will not at this time. welven da great has agreed to fill in bit.ly/1IGm7n7 twitter.com/AchtungCloud/s…
just finishing up some light summer reading. full book report on tomorrow’s season premiere. #tosh
i've performed at thousands of colleges and not a g.d. one was "pc" AND I'M IN THE HALL! @AndyKindler was very proud.
this is my single friend jocelyn who is looking for a special someone to taste her sweet pie. serious inquiries only.
electric bike ride with the babies in my beloved boston.
good thing we had our bikini bodies ready for nantucket.
time to play “does my dog have rigor mortis or just good posture?”
chris kaman is one of the few people who would look less scary with his head on upside down.
i never break eye contact with my babies while they poop.
it's the cuddling afterwards that i find so disturbing. #getadoghousealready

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