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Dane Cook
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Kicking back by the fire watching this amazing sunset. I can't wait to eat and have sex later.
  6h
I put on this suit to formally wish you all a very happy holiday time. See that glimmer in my eyes? It's because I know a secret. It's a secret about you. Hehe. Don't look over your shoulder I mean you silly ass. What's the secret you ask? I can't tell you here. But I can tell you where the secret
  8h
Holiday nails!
People often ask me what it's like being inside my brain. Here's a glimpse.
Sitting on the toilet and this is happening outside my window.
4 years ago today spiders ruined xmas. #XmasGrief
One of my proudest moments being part of the SNL holiday sweater sketch. So fun. I put the FULL link on my Twitter and FB @DaneCook so go watch it there!
THIS IS MY OVEN, THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT BUT THIS ONE IS MINE. MY OVEN IS MY BEST FRIEND. IT IS MY LIFE. I MUST MASTER IT AS I MASTER MY LIFE. WITHOUT ME IT IS USELESS, WITHOUT MY OVEN I AM USELESS. This xmas my oven is about to get COOKed.
I like role playing and I take it seriously. I made this snowman suit. Watch my web vids on how to create your own sexy scary snowman!
2014 brought me back to where it all started. The Comedy Cellar in NYC. The best.
Ohhh.. I'm lookin' at you 2015.
Any blood spatter analysis experts out there know if this looks like a totally guilty scene or more of a whoops compete accident vibe?
This guy photobombed me last night. I didn't like the picture of me but I though he looked great and really captured how I felt so I'm posting it.
Thx @BarbiPixi you've made my Xmas wish come true.
The best holiday advice I can give you.
The fucking tinsel is wrapped around the xmas tree & his neck. #TimberFail #Tinsellake #Justintimeforxmas
NOOOOOOOOOO! #NotSoMerryXmas
I wish I was in this pic dressed as Rudolph.
#tbf w/ @whitneyacummings but we are getting pbombed by @gwenstefani & @gerardbutler
We wish you a #PandaXmas