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Dane Cook
comedian comedy live music 3,036,873 followers
Don't forget WOMEN AREN'T FUNNY is available tomorrow on iTunes starring Emmy award winner @SarahKSilverman CONGRATS SARAH!
Retweeted by Dane Cook
A curved tv is the dumbest fucking thing ever. How does a 3 inch bend make it immersive? #Emmys
This music is scary. #Emmys
.@sethmeyers is really good. "NBC is also a network." #Emmys
You never know who is at my show. The other night this man was ready to "powerfist" the world. Any ideas?
Is there anything better than time well spent with your parole officer?
I'm headed to the #Emmys2010. I'm so excited to meet the cast of Monk!
Life sometimes gives you everything you don't need at exactly the right moment.
When I see a very hot older woman I get a more mature boner.
@BrentMorin, @BrentMorinsHand & I at the Showtime party to celebrate Emmy stuff and my comedy event. #Troublemaker #oct17th #Showtime
Beyoncé is real. She made the rest of this show look like dress reversal. #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
Maroon 5 is exciting like having lunch with your aunt. #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
There are some iPhone version 3 titties at this show. #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
Kim K was just wearing a taxi drivers beaded car seat cover. #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
I estimate The Flash breaks off about 1500 car side mirrors a week. #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
Nicki Minaj's ass is on MTV when is Nicki coming on? #VMAs2014 #DaneCookTroublemaker #Oct17thOnShowtime
Hey Fifth Harmony -- maybe more hair flipping? #VMAs2014
Models love talking about what they could have eaten today but what they had instead.
.@TrojanCondoms do your rubbers come in Enigmatic Size?
It's amazing how many young comedians today are influenced by this guys early stand up. #JimCarrey