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Dane Cook
That irritating "time of the month" for men is when our football team has a bye week.
A few women I know are having their periods. I'm guessing most of you have synced up & sexually for men this is a bye week.
Spending some quality minutes over the weekend with a few funny kids, a club owner & a photobomber. Introducing @TheRealRussellP @JeremyHotz @NealBrennan @JamieMasada & @RandyTheDoorGuy
You’re always the best in your field if you’re creating the field.
I did dozens of interviews last week. This quote accidently fell out of my mouth. I wanted to share it with you all. It might just help.
You can't rain on my parade because I've already designed it to be aquatic themed.
UPDATE on sweaty butt in front of me. After a sprint it now looks like a reservoir filled with Macintosh computers.
@LensPunk: @DaneCook should this be the first face I see heading to the crapper? pic.twitter.com/xWqd8e8COY” -- Ha. That's so wrong.
This person at the gym sweat a Rorschach test on their ass. I see an industrial complex with a moat of ninja stars & trombones.
@DaneCook Did NOT think anything would ever top Vicious Circle for me, but damn if I wasn't hysterical watching Troublemaker. #thanks dude!
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Guess where I'm not?
@mrgarelick: @DaneCook dot com! Ha! Laughing my ass off at the new special #Troublemaker” Thx brother !
I am DYING laughing at @DaneCook #troublemaker freaking HYSTERICAL! 😂😂🎉💐🍌🔫
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Immediately bought tickets for @DaneCook at the @BeaconTheatre after watching #Troublemaker tonight. No regrets.
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@DaneCook when can I get #Troublemaker on DVD?? I need to watch it so I can laugh hysterically for hours on end
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Just watched @DaneCook 's new special and the king is back...you are the man Dane
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@DaneCook you are a very funny man & all kinds of wrong. Continue. Yes, please. ❤️#BatchOfBitches
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@DaneCook So after watching #Troublemaker with my mom she now is on to Vicious Circle and MSG. She just pulled her rib from laughing
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@DaneCook #Troublemaker was hysterical! Well done. You've still got it. 😂 & people don't realize all the charitable work u and Jamie do! 👍💩
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@DaneCook great special dude, #Troublemaker solidifies your place in comedy history. Also, if I need fatherly advice, can I come to you?
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Fuck you @DaneCook now my wife wants to see my phone.
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Hey east coast why dontcha hashtag #DaneCook & let the west coast know some of your fav lines in the special starting at 7:30 on Showtime 2.
.@McKaylaMaroney it actually airs tonight at 7:30 on Showtime 2! This link has all the dates/times for reairing: sho.com/sho/comedy/tit…
OH YAH GUYS don't miss the hilarious #Troublemaker w/ my friend @DaneCook tonight at 10 on showtime!! #DaneCook youtube.com/watch?v=9_FTdK…
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Lessons learned from @DaneCook don't let yourself get racist hungry #Troublemaker
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@DaneCook you are the only reason why I have been on Twitter in months just to tweet how funny #Troublemaker is everyone must watch this
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@DaneCook You had the greatest closer ever....your a true Trouble Maker
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I was having a spectacularly horrible week and needed to laugh, so thank you to @DaneCook #Troublemaker had me rolling!
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@Handsofjoymsge: @DaneCook and saw you live in Vegas- 2008. Congrats and thanks for the hilarity!!” -- More to come!!
@stevenontour: @DaneCook will troublemaker air in Europe or do I need to download it *ahem* "legitimately"?” -- soon
@TerikaaaBabyy: @DaneCook Ugh I haven't laughed that hard in months!! Thank you so much for that #Troublemaker” -- you're welcome!!
Only 23 minutes in and @DaneCook's new special is awesome
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@petedavidson: @DaneCook great special man!!! So glad to see you back in action” -- thx Pete and you are doing it now! Onward.
@mpratl17: Find myself quoting @DaneCook very often these days” -- me too
I love this part where I talk about my ex. All this computer stuff was so crazy when it was happening I was upset but knowing it was funny.
@rahymundoe: You are one funny motherfucker, motherfucker. @DaneCook” -- I try
@Courtneyylynn97: Just a small town girl in a snow globe world. Let's shake things up 💁 @DaneCookk” - Real shit I found
@_leilaniii: Seriously.. If you don't like @DaneCook we can't be friends. He is a comedic genius! 😂�#Troublemakerer ” - We can be friends!
@courtney_j24: Let's be real @DaneCook is the funniest mother fucker alive!!!!” -- awww Thx girl
@DaneCook I've watched all your specials over the years and this was the best by far dude,Bravo Dane Bravo #Living Legend
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@G4ND4RA218: @DaneCook trouble maker was amazing. So much good info. I must watch it again lol.😂😂” -- 2nd viewing you see whatcha missed.
@NoelElaineOTH: .@DaneCook's description of #GirlDepression is so on point. He's been reading my diary. #Troublemaker” -- YES!!!