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This is why I hate Twitter
I like it when someone talks about what they're passionate about. However weird or odd it is, I'd rather see that than something fake
Nothing more disappointing then ya phone being dead the whole day only to it turn on expecting a text but all u get is jack fuckin shit
If Drake could take Chris browns ability to dance the same way he took Rihanna from him, then maybe da hotline bling video wouldnt be so bad
RT for Anteiku Fav for Starbucks
Retweeted by Dan
These whales think being #bodyposi will save them from a heart attack. Shame that your fingers are all you exercise
Retweeted by Dan
U dudes dat love FIFA are so oblivious ya girl could be getting fucked on da floor infront of u and you'd prolly use her back as a footrest
Lmaooooooo this is hilarious
Lol nowadays yall losing ya minds if someone ain't text back in 5 mins. U base ya whole relationship around a cell phone. Fuck outta here
Females love tweetin about being a detective in a relationship, wtf u doing with someone u can't even trust? Jokes on u lol
It's not a bad thing when someone got a crazy ex. It just means they got something so good they don't want anyone else to have it
Don't let these women on Twitter tell u what a "real man" should be. Just do u
When I see a dude wearing skinny jeans to his ankles and nike shoes I already that mfucka say the word "banter" about 100 times a day
A dude talkin about football all night is about as interesting as a bitch talkin bout her eyebrows, there is more to life trust me
Sometimes females just be sayin "pop up" to see how many dudes gonna message her. She not even interested in holding a conversation
She looks like one of those creatures from I Am Legend…
Women win arguments cuz they never say anything at da time. Instead they wait n record all ya fuck ups and then present it as a final thesis
Winter relationships are only gonna commence when it starts getting dark at 4pm
The problem is none of yall wanna get ya shit together THEN settle down wit someone. U be going in a relationship broken expecting happiness
In my eyes we all equal, all men are jealous and stupid, just like women are stupid to get happy about it. Idiots everywhere
When a feminist tweet her opinion on my timeline
God gotta have the same controller Adam Sandler had in that movie Click how the fuck it almost end of 2015 he got that shit on fast forward
Stand your ground and they'll say you're hypermasculine. Let them run riot and they'll call you a bitch or a fuckboy. Just shut up I beg u
Retweeted by Dan
#FemininitySoFragile you don't feel comfortable unless you're attempting to emasculate a man
Retweeted by Dan
I think every female should know how to cook. Idc. Idc. Idc. Don't @ me.
Retweeted by Dan
You can't even offer feminists help their brain can't understand anything that doesn't offend them
Retweeted by Dan
I'm so proud of you Japan what an emotional moment #LongLiveJapan #RWC2015
I miss the old R&B music that actually made me wanna fall in love. This new R&B just make me horny and end up texting some random at 11PM
Im avoiding those "it's 16 Friday's until Christmas!" people at all costs. They da kinda people who watch Elf 7 times in one night
Ex texted me and said how she miss me idc if da neighbours sleeping I'm walkin round da house playin POWER by Kanye west with my chest out
I like how it feels when u talk to someone u haven't talked to for a while and they start telling all the things they've missed about u
When they ask u what ya greatest achievement was at an interview u literally gotta convince em how u saved da planet while serving customers
Reading ya friends CV is too funny man "I'm a honest and reliable person.." yo ain't u cheat on ya girl with dat bitch who look like Pumba
Dawg u can see the pain in the girls eyes when she smile at u in a retail shop like "fuck I hate my life i might just start stripping"
To get da job u gotta lie in ya interview. They ask u who ya role model is u tell em its Martin Luther and u have a dream to work in tesco
For a job in customer services I put on my CV how Ive got experience in dealing with difficult people. They aint know it was my ex's tho
Straight outta school go to an interview and they'll ask u "do u have experience at being a chef?" Na cuz I had 99 cooking on Runescape once
Dawg ur forced to lie in interviews. "Why do u want to work at ASDA?" Well its always been a passion of mine to scan things and serve chavs
I could literally RT every @KidDooley tweet
Retweeted by Dan
Vegans are the modern day Jehovah witnesses. U eating eggs for breakfast they gonna tell u about all the chickens in prison forced to breed
U females on snapchat recording yourself lip syncing to music on the radio really think you're all that don't you loooooool
People on trains are mad rude lol they'll put their bag on a free seat and expect u to stand. Bitch I will drop kick your Gucci out the door
Lies are only entertaining when u know the truth
I like small boobs so does that mean I'll be rich?…
I can't wait till the day one of u douchebags tell ya girl she "looking bomb" in an airport and both yall get arrested
Why do some of u refer to girls as "she bomb as fuck"? Why not just pretty? Is she part of ISIS? Is she going to blow herself up bruv

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