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"@ItsMrPolo_: I had to man, can't believe my mum fell for it πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@KidDooley ffs I love when you go on a tweeting rampage πŸ˜πŸ‘
Retweeted by Tomoki
Man I seen this one hot girl in the gym today I was so shocked I dropped a dumbbell on her foot that's right baby hop right into my life
Gotta love how Facebook hit u with that "sorry u had this experience" when u about to block ya ex, u feel like they on ur side
β€œ@KidDooley: Girls get dumped nowadays u think she gonna cry? Nope lol she watching gone girl & taking notes on how to fuck ya life up” πŸ˜‚πŸ˜«πŸ˜­
Retweeted by Tomoki
Girls get dumped nowadays u think she gonna cry? Nope lol she watching gone girl and taking down notes on how to fuck ya life up
Trust me man u dont wanna date a girl who spell aloud as allowed, u text her at 2am worried she gon say "fuck u I'm aloud to do what I want"
Any girl who spell allowed as "aloud" need to take a damn IQ test before they're "aloud" to use Twitter
I hate females who spell allowed as "aloud", bitch who "aloud" u to download this damn app, lowering my braincells with every tweet u send
If something as shit as internet explorer got the courage to ask to be ya browser everyday what's stopping u from asking that cute girl out
Cheat on a girl who love u best hope u can cheat death the same way cuz u not safe no more brother she out thinking up ways to kill u
I see a girl wearing one of those big fur jackets I know her personality probably dead like the animal that was killed for it
"@Poochda63: Imagine walking through the woods and Ya pregnant girlfriend step in a bear trap. Just keep walking nigga you free now" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Avoid girls who got an album full of screenshots, u wanna date the ones who got nothing but photos of her cat and the food she can't eat
Go fall in love with a girl who gotta use both hands to hold her iPhone 6, her small hands will make ya dick feel big and give u confidence
Ya girlfriend tell u squash a spider and once u do it u feel like u can take on the world with just ya bug spray and mom's flip flop
Yo @David_Cameron if u ban whatsapp make sure u gimme back my 69p or else u ain't getting my vote, PayPal will do homie
Man im serious I never seen a pregnant asian woman before this just one of life's great mysteries like that lochness monster in Scotland
Good girls are getting harder and harder to find everyday dude, it's like trying find a pregnant asian woman and a unicorn all in one day
Whenever I see a dude with that small ponytail hairstyle I think he look like li shang from that Disney movie mulan
Nowadays wassup with all these dudes and this ponytail hairstyle..Does ya boyfriend grab ya ponytail when he fucks u from behind
David Cameron wanna ban whatsapp now lol? Better gimme my 69p back with interest
Nobody respect ya relationship no more, holding hands with ya girl won't even scare these dudes off, u gotta lick her whole face in public
I rather get a present that is something that shows how well a person knows me and is cheap rather than something expensive and means nothin
Stop letting these women use u when they mad at their boyfriend, are u a man or a therapist
Log onto instagram and all I see are selfies don't anybody got friends to take normal pictures with anymore lol
U ever notice how females in the gym gather together like wild buffalo to avoid being picked off by all the hungry and horny men
I hate when girls use the word "cunt" it sounds foul, its like someone throwing a flashbang at ya in call of duty, ya ears just be ringing
A girl tell u she shy u gotta investigate to see how she act drunk cuz when that tequila go in her mouth the devil start coming out
When a female can't express how she feel about u she gonna just gonna end up getting mad like she expect u to know
Working a shit part time job gonna help ya grades in school, when u realise how shit it is u gon start doing everything u can to break free
Females evaluating they life choices the most when they walking home barefoot on a Saturday morning
I will never forget the people who were there for me, just as well I will never forget the people who abandoned me when I needed them most
This "trust nobody" attitude is bullshit, be alone with ya pet cat then bitch while we out here making friends, memories & seeing the world
It seems whenever I log onto twitter there always that one loser tweeting like his whole life goal is nothing but to grab a booty
Β£1000 for car insurance?! LOOOOOOOOOL I'mma buy myself some nice ass hiking boots tomorrow only lifts I'll be giving are piggy back rides
im glad Im single, I can barely afford car insurance am I supposed to be able to afford a girlfriend too now? One sec let me sell my soul
Hate when u go on a girls IG Page and it only selfies, bitch u love yourself enough for the both of us u don't need me no more
Man I think these new iPhones are too big, pull out ya phone in the club like one sec babe lemme take down ya number on my calculator
Men who shamelessly use a selfie stick in public should also be beaten to death with it
Twitter is cool when u bored, but when u out living life u don't got time to be telling people about it cuz u already onto the next thing
That new hobbit movie over 2 hours long, gotta bring along a nice girl who own a big handbag to hide ya drinks in so u don't die of thirst
RT β€œ@rellyOnSMASH: dont ask her what shes doin tonight tell her what shes doin tonight”
Always that one chick who drink too much and gotta ruin the whole christmas party
Nowadays u don't really get new feelings for new people anymore, u just bury old ones and seem to uncover them when the time is right
β€œ@Madsteeerr: Mistletoe belly button ring, you know what that means.πŸ’‹πŸ’­β€ It means ur a hoe
I need a twitter rant from @KidDooley πŸ™Š that'll make me happy.
Retweeted by Tomoki
When somebody not replying to ya text u gonna hit up they instagram and strategically like a photo of they dog to let em know u waiting