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Tomoki
When a girl tweet "I actually need somebody.." it usually aimed at the dude she dating tryna tell him indirectly he need to step his game up
@KidDooley just makes me laugh too muchπŸ˜©πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Retweeted by Tomoki
The only good thing about clubbing is u can pretend like u can't hear ya girlfriend whining and blame it on the music being too loud
There always one girl everybody don't like talkin bout how she gonna go back to Ibiza, go bitch we won't miss u
There jus somethin bout girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, she coulda fucked the whole basketball team she still gonna look innocent
Some of yall will ignore the girl who wanna give u world for some drunk hoe u met in a club who just gonna give u chlymadia
Good girls don't post snapchat stories of themselves in clubs, they usually just take pictures of they cat or the cupcakes they just baked
A girl tell me she got the new iPhone 6 with unlimited texts I know her ability to be a hoe is unlimited too
When u see a girl with a black & white Nokia and she got limited texts u know she faithful, she only using them texts to text her mom & dad
When I find a girl of my dreams we gon deactivate our accounts together and trade in our iPhones for those black and white Nokia phones
Yall make fun of Muslims for wearing em ninja costumes but really Muslim men clever as hell, nobody gon hit on ya girl when she wearing that
When u on ya way to ya funeral but u remember u left ya iPhone unlocked charging on ya girlfriends side of the bed pic.twitter.com/HwxkD823R3
The talking phase before the relationship actually better than the relationship sometimes, once u get the girl u find out she boring as fuck
Any nigga that post selfies on the reg is a faggot in my eyes.. No lie.
Retweeted by Tomoki
She's only officially ya girlfriend when she starts annoying the fuck outta u and u gotta start lying about ya whereabouts
Sometimes u gotta like photos of salads and skinny girls on Instagram to inspire ya girlfriend to lose weight
If I have a daughter Imma give her all the attention in the world, no daughter of mine will ever feel the need to be a hoe to be noticed.
I'm so broke I paid Β£4 worth of chicken in 2p coins, this line forming behind me hates me so much, fuck yall I'm getting these chicken wings
β€œ@dylaina_: When your dad misses all your dance recitals pic.twitter.com/xPtTPVnWAa” This is why I don't want a daughter πŸ˜•
This man @KidDooley is killing twitter yet again tonight πŸ˜‚#thefunniestt
Retweeted by Tomoki
When ya girl fly to Ibiza with her "girls" but ain't replying to any of ya texts pic.twitter.com/dFWiWBo5BD
Bitches will wait 4 hours for iOS8 to download but won't wait 5 minutes for u to reply without starting a new conversation with another dude
I rather just be single man, nowadays bitches thinkin they deserve a medal for being a good side chick and messing up relationships
I never understood ppl who TRIED to make u jealous.. shit just ends up hurting and pushing me further away ya dumb bitch
If girls go crazy over a phone being half an inch bigger imagine her reaction when she meet Tyrone in London, Callum will be replaced fam
yall get way too excited over phones, these kids growin up gon live they life thru a screen and forget how to ask out girls to their face
I know ugly bitches gonna buy the iPhone 6+ so it cover they face more efficiently when they take selfies in the mirror
if u think rough sex made ya girlfriend scream loud just wait until the spiders invade ya home this autumn u gonna have some competition
I hate it when ppl are like "oh no don't kill it what did the spider ever do to u" bitch my house is invite only
Girls are gonna get used to holding a 6.5 inch iphone in they hand now so if ya dick smaller than that she might just upgrade to a new man
I will be seeing @KidDooley in hell πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ’€πŸ™ŠπŸ˜‚
Retweeted by Tomoki
nudes are so overrated.. at the end of the day u still jacking yourself off. So u got 100 nudes but 0 real women in real life? Go you
when u compliment a girl and she don't reply it usually mean that she screenshotted u and now ur the topic of a groupchat full of mean girls
when a cute girl follows u on IG & u got a jealous GF u be liking random shit of her shoes & cats jus to let her know u still think she fly
Ariana grande nudes so trash.. Hadda wash my eyes out with holy water shit looked like child porn
this is the time of night where everybody in bed texting the person they like.. so if u ain't received a text yet then u ain't that person
iPhone 6 better alert me when my girl like a photo of some dude on Instagram just so I can see if he a threat and look better than me
I know crime in Africa high but what kinda thief break into a house to go to the bathroom and take a dump.. Lol knock before u shoot oscar
good girls don't go to Ibiza
I dont believe in female best friends if I already got a girl, one woman who in love is enough crazy in ya life believe me
Ya girl tweet "πŸ˜”" dudes in the friendzone been waiting they whole life for this moment to hop into her DMs to cheer her up and be a hero
@KidDooley your tweets, I swear, crack me the fuck up πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Retweeted by Tomoki
β€œ@katielouisex__: so much luv for @KidDooley” Go me haha
Spendin Β£20 on one girl every Friday night who jus down for u better than spending Β£100 on drinks at clubs wit chicks who down for everybody
some dudes becomin more like bitches everyday, postin pics of they "fresh trim" like it an accomplishment, nobody give a shit bout ya hairdo
I dont even care about boob size, its all about the nipples. If ya nipples look like the baloney they sell at ASDA then my love has expired
@KidDooley I've missed you and your tweets 😭 I'm weak
Retweeted by Tomoki
Idc how popular the word "bae" gets I will never use it. When I hear couples calling eachother bae I know the relationship got a time limit