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And that's why
I rather have my girlfriend go on a tour in Afghanistan than go to napa
I've hated all of drakes songs for the past year but that Diss was pretty good. The beat sounded like a super Mario game on steroids
@Minimesmi 😂😂😂😂😂 you my friend are a legend 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Retweeted by Dan
It's nice to log onto twitter and read through all the old shit I wrote. But I guess I'll have to save the KidDooley in me for a better day
The more cats she has the less likely she is to cheat on u
u know a girl is falling in love with u when u can see the psycho in her slowly start to kick in
2012 it is then. Let's hope the world ends this time around…
U ever been so in love with a girl when u say goodnight to her u actually go to sleep instead of looking at other girls on instagram?
It's OK if u failed ya exams, say dj khaled 3 times in the mirror with da lights off he gonna pop out telling u that u smart
Dj khaled look like he snores loud as hell loooool
Dawg when insta DM'S first came out I sent 4 girls the same message thinking it'd send separately. My whole empire crumbled in 30 seconds
Mario Party was the kinda game that tested friendships, if u was still homies even after ya boy stole ya stars from u it was real friendship
RIP Saturo Iwata, thank you for making my childhood a beautiful one.
Twitter sucks so bad now, it's got that same lame vibe Facebook had two years ago when they introduced subscribers
I can't be the only one who feels like they've been tricked when u follow back a private acc on IG and they end up looking like a mole rat
95% of the teenage population out there tryna find love and social status and then theres me tryna find Mew on pokemon alpha sapphire
People get the most retarded tattoos but they still gonna give u some long ass story bout how it mean something
Ppl always got a story with they tattoo. Dude get a tattoo of a raccoon and will tell u some shit like he scavenging for da meaning of life
When u catch the dude telling ya girlfriend "she deserve better"
Dunno even why people stay with someone if they got to monitor them all the time, are u an examiner from cambridge or a girlfriend
whenever i see a dude wearing a bucket hat i just think he got an overprotective mother who wanna protect him from getting a sunburn
i remember in 4th grade when the girl i liked called me a loser. Was so depressed i went home and released all my pokemon into the wild
don't u miss those days when the hardest decision u had to make was whether or not u wanted to choose squirtle or charmander
The best dates I've been on cost me nothing. All I had was just a girl with a good personality and a beach with sand we could both sit on
My days of dating white girls are over, being a vanilla killa ain't what I'm about no more. Right now it's all about the Asian persuasion
Sorry but being fat shouldn't be glorified. Its unhealthy. Put down ya cake, put down ya phone. Stop tweeting ya bullshit n go for a run
Young men are kinda like stitch from that Disney movie. He mess up but always mean well, but he can't help it cuz thats how he was designed
Once a girl hate another girl she hate everything bout her. "Look at this bitch reading her book tryna act clever like she didn't fail BTEC"
Someone taking ya phone off charge without permission and putting their phone on instead gotta be the modern day ultimate disrespect
U dont know stress until u volunteer to help da elderly, u feeding some ancient woman and u jus thinking please God dont choke on this bread
u know sometimes u just gotta shave ya whole head bald to see if ya girl stay with u so u know its real
You can put your walls up and try isolate yourself when you're hurt but your true friends will always find a way to climb over them
@KidDooley get your paddling pool out son!
Retweeted by Dan
Thing is though what da fuck do u do in england when it's nice weather if u aren't by the beach? Walk ya dog? Snapchat yourself tanning?
Having a gf in summer is like tryna sleep with a duvet in this heat. Its probably gonna bother u and in the end u end up pushing it away
I'm just sweating here typing this tweet lol
U open up ya window in this microwave weather and u hope for a breeze but the only think that come thru ya window is the bugs life crew
U dudes come up with da most stupid compliments these days. Oh "she slays", slays what? Beasts in runescape? Whats her username then
With nice evenings like these it kinda makes me wanna stroll around outside with someone and just talk shit for ages
I don't think I can ever learn to trust anybody who got a kik account
I love @KidDooley 's tweets!!! 😭❤️❤️
Retweeted by Dan
It don't matter if u clean ya whole body with a toothbrush when u go into the London underground u come out u feeling dirty as fuck
When it comes to men shopping however we treat it like a COD mission. Get in. Get out. Minimal casualty to the wallet and we happy

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