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Casey Schoemehl
I accidentally noticed that I definitely look skinnier when my hands are above my head. Can we make that a trend?
Life expects me to be strong, doesn't always mean I've got to sing that song
The Hilton at the Ballpark is kind of trash. Just saying @HiltonHotels, you might want to make some changes here. First, the elevators.
As a kid, I remember thinking that Yankee Doodle had to have been a fucking weirdo.
Every October 3rd Mean Girls is out in full force, huh? #grool
Yall 2 years late. RT @HuffPostBlog: How Justin Bieber went from a white boy to a black man
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
"Two Pieces" by @ddlovato is like a musical thunderstorm.
I just love that somebody's handle on Twitter is @vodkadinah. Never change #harmonizers.
Let's be real, probably the ugliest one.
Why are some of you people up on tinder with like 90 other people in your pic with you? Like, who are you. Literally.
Do you ever just dance around your room like a little girl?
Has anyone seen that new Capitol One commercial with Samuel L. Jackson in the purple shawl collar sweater? I want that sweater!
The fact that @AlexZone cries anytime @CherylOfficial releases a new song.
Omg @CherylOfficial I stayed up so late to hear your new single and #IDontCare because it was worth it. #thankyou
The fly is gone. I didn't get to kill him though. I hope we meet again.
I left my window open with the hopes that the fly would leave... Nope, he's still here. What a dumbass.
This fly has some serious abandonment issues. #flywatch2014
That bitch just had the gall to land (and probably take a shit) on my Diet Pepsi... #flywatch2014
Why must there always be a fly in my room...
I'm really falling in love with @CherylOfficial. I want her in America. I'll trade any celebrity for her.
My mom is straight up talking to my dog right now, like full on conversation.
I really want to answer "your dick" to @AustinMahone's last tweet but I feel like that's inappropriate. The joke is right there though.
@DiannaAgron holy cow! Thanks! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
I 💙@jennyslatee. Watching OBVIOUS CHILD on my breaks & not wanting to stop to go back to
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
Friends premiered 20 years ago today. How time does fly!
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
I cried v hard watching The Fault In Our Stars but also why did nobody tell me about the Anne Frank part?!? Bc that is a part of the movie
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
Don't know much about her besides the fact that she is pretty bitter, so BYE Lolo Jones, don't let the ballroom doors hit your nasty ass.
Well hello there pretty lady @DiannaAgron
I think @SimonCowell saying no to this girl group on #TheXFactorUK is him stanning for @FifthHarmony tbqh #TheXFactor
If you post the "Anaconda" parody on FB, I WILL unfriend you. @NICKIMINAJ
When you follow Cher twitter suggests that you follow Mariah. Just saying. #oldies
@Jezebel: Black woman shows PDA with white boyfriend, questioned for prostitution” I fucking can’t anymore.
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
@UberFacts: Smoking can cause your nipples to fall off.” I have never done a double take faster than the one I did when I read dis...
I can't wait to see @ArianaGrande in concert!!
If @NICKIMINAJ only knew how many times I've heard every word of her rap in the Flawless remix because @onikapova won't stop reciting it...
Pretty sure @onikapova just attempted to rape me.
does anyone remember that phase where everybody's Facebook statuses were the lyrics to black and yellow by wiz khalifa
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
Like @channingtatum is hot and he knows it, but he's not a douche about it.
Miley wore pasties to the @AlexanderWangNY after-party & it's a hit but I wore a maxi pad to @openingceremony one & everyone got like so mad
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
Please @msleamichele please go on tour. Please.
"I haven't heard Michelle Obama chanted that loud since the Democratic National Convention." - @caseyschoemehl on the 5H concert last nite😂
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl
rest in peace simone battle :( cant even imagine what that must be like, praying for her group members and her family/loved ones :(
Retweeted by Casey Schoemehl