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IF. Fuck you iPhone! If is a word I use!
Of anybody in Des Moines was alarmed by that blood cuddling scream just now, that was just my wife watching @WalkingDead_AMC @WWEAJLee
John Hughes made amazing movies. Movies with characters that spoke to me. Timeless unforgettable stories. Then he disappeared. Respect.
.@CMPunk the Internet will be pissed no matter the outcome of anything, ever.
Retweeted by Coach
Close fight. Let me ask ya this: would you have been pissed if it was a draw? #UFC177 #fivemoreminutes
And @QoSBaszler wins the walk out song contest! #UFC177
Big thanks to @Onnit for the gifts! I can't wait to try this stuff. Coffee!!
I'm not sure I can cut to 135 in time.
I'm still watching the fights, because I love fighters that step up on short notice. Huzzah for opportunities! @ufc
Well, @normmacdonald , there goes my tweet about telling you "there goes your dream theory" about @BreakingBad_AMC
Is it a hoax or not? This is @BreakingBad_AMC It's not hing to joke about.
Well, @normmacdonald , there goes your dream theory about @BreakingBad_AMC
'Supermench', documentary on Shep Gordon. Watch it. Highly recommended.
'Dark Knight Rises' isn't on. This is seriously wrecking havoc on my daily routine.
@marcmcgoldrick: @CMPunk Starbucks is your wife?” Decent tweet.
So what's the secret code for PSL? Asking for a friend (who doubles as my hot wife) @Starbucks @WWEAJLee
A movie with Bruce Willis, Jason Patric AND @johncusack ??? AANNNNNND 50 Cent!?!??! SOLD! (Rented!)
Morrissey's next album is a Ramones greatest hits compilation. Seriously.
Retweeted by Coach
If anyone still needs a grammar lesson after @nerdist's #Emmys bit, we've got your back:… @CMPunk #YoureVsYour
Retweeted by Coach
.@nerdist with the grammar slam on the Emmys! Respect.
Just ran in and out of @WizardWorld during the last 45 minutes. Good to see 'grizzled wonder woman' cosplay is alive and well.
"Carl is a piece of shit. He's on my list." --@WWEAJLee @WalkingDead_AMC
"Are you supposed to hate Lori? Because I hate her" -- @WWEAJLee
So far she hates everybody I hate and likes Daryl so all is well. @WalkingDead_AMC
My wife is finally watching @TheWalkingDead and I'm fighting the urge to blurt out "dead!" every time a character who dies later pops up.
I enjoy the orange @KILLCLIFF gimmicks. Are @Onnit supplements any good? Yes, I'm shameless.
I waved my phone call so I could tweet instead. 2014 prison rules, y'all.
“Wait. You are actually lifting weights? Working out?” Always do. Just don't do do steeeeeeeeeroids. Also, blocked.
My bench sucks. It's always sucked. Separated AC joint I never fixed. But I keep trying. Or maybe I'm just a pussy? Stupid long arms...
Blackgate prison isn't so bad.
Was speaking with a friend and we both decided all airports would be immeasurable better with chickens running wild
Retweeted by Coach
@thatnigga_juju: @CMPunk why everyone saying u was arrested ?” Because I totally got arrested.
Chicago. Need a good drummer I won't kill to help me refine skills. I figure I gotta know someone. It's the "that I won't kill" part...
Who has the better hair tonight? @Jon_Anik or @kennyflorian ? Free fights! BADER! MAYNARD! BOETSCH!
iPhone auto correct hates Chew. POYO!
My man @Rob_guillory knows how to send a care package! POLLO!!!!
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
Retweeted by Coach
Blocking people who feel the need to shit on raising ALS awareness. What is wrong with you? Ice bucket on the way. Who should I challenge?
I accept the ALS ice bucket challenge from no twitter Matt Cooke of the @mnwild and the no good @BaileyLAKings. On my way to get a bucket...
Name: @CMPunk. Mission: to tag all lasers. Hair: perfect. He is the LASER TAG-INATOR
Retweeted by Coach