This is the most important thing you'll read all day. bzfd.it/Z544PR
Learn to make one of my favorite things in the world, papaya salad, from @Pepperthai2
and meeee fashionista.com/2013/05/we-get…
I woke up with 400 dollars cash and no ATM withdrawals.
the brick chicken recipe (my last RT) is one of our household favorites and so, so easy so fucking do it okay enjoy!
Ready for Memorial Day? @chrissyteigen
host!) has your go-to BARBEQUE recipe on.vh1.com/198nfwi
One: for now. It begins again tomorrow. Two: that's what she said. RT @MikeyBrono
is it over?
Thanks for putting up with my complaining today. You have been my only buddies.
What's the point of a skytrain that dumps u as far away from your destination as possible? How does this even happen? Is there a secret map?
dartboards, legos and sheer carelessness were key players in the design of the Miami airport.
Now flying to Miami. No one wants to wear their headphones, they would much prefer them around their necks, blasting, cause that's cool.
I swear to god 90% of the people I block have just tweeted something to espn or skip bayless.
Flying private would be like 40,000 for one way. That is some jay z shit. Or joe francis but we know what happens on his flights.
Why the fuck do you guys respond to my airport anger tweets with "just fly private"?? Do you have any idea how much that costs? Any?
Not saying I think you're insane if u are an adult with a stuffed animal or personal giant pillow on your flight but please unfollow me
I have a ball of anger vomit in my throat that can only be cleared with tequila
God I wish I wasn't me and I was live tweeting someone else's bullshit airport meltdown. I was next level.
Wait*. Now my bags are gone. Oh la guardia you are a fucking piece of work aren't you
I get protocol. But holy fucking shit if I don't want 30 minutes for some late, connecting POS every fucking flight
Been staring at my plane from the gate for 35 minutes since they can't open the door and all. Fuck you.
Level 10 meltdown happening at the airport come with your video cameras because Chrissy is about to get arrested
3x a week I pray to baby Jesus my flight is cancelled. Only now when I am going for pleasure times...sigh. Who wants to party in Charlotte?
Weirds me out that someone found my blog by specifically googling "Chrissy Teigen breasts" pic.twitter.com/BiJDMfsbSN
fucking shit you piece of garbage laguardia your love for LA worthy runway traffic made me miss my connection now I'm sleeping in charlotte
Number 9000 for takeoff. La Guardia, you disorganized mess.
Please read the two beautiful tweet stories @MissJia
has just RTed.
I THOUGHT U QUIT JUDGING PEOPLE RT @RSpeigel13
thought you quit drinking!
La Guardia airport bar only serves booze after 8am. Don't embarrass yourself. You're welcome.
Good morning? RT @TIRINA72
tell them that thanks such and such oh btw I see you are in the new it piece nice a repurposed asshat
you look like you're wanted for something and it's sure not sex. RT @olsonmr
sorry your show sucks. Wahhhhh
oh i am sooooo sorry you can't function like a normal human being when there are tweets not about basketball on your timeline fucking wahhh
fact: there are 89,673 ways to spell "brittney"
I don't know where Shark's anus is? #ModelEmployee
i cried when @aspenbrandylea
cried. i have feelings. my heart is slate gray, not black.
i cannot properly say the only word i had to say every single episode: "deliberation".
i would have stuck my finger in a shark's anus before I would ever cut the heads off frozen, pregnant rats. #modelemployee
i was just gonna talk about the sharks but i typed shart and now who cares because shart is hilarious fuck sharks
i would like to announce that i chose my dress based on the fact that it was wetsuit material because i am extremely clever #modelemployee
starts in a few minutes homies! Grab some wine but probably not red -- you'll see....
Ugh thought I just made this up myself. Bummed now. pic.twitter.com/s7e6yOmSo4
welcome to the 24/7 party that is JewelTV
Fox Sports has hired @andyroddick
to work as a broadcaster on @FoxSports1
. Roddick talks to @SInow
abt. his new gig: bit.ly/10kOgJO
I can't unsee this. RT @BuzzFeed
: CAT BEARDING pic.twitter.com/YvZHDrPBdY
#paid #spon #hateyou #lovethatpan
nothing handles heat as well as cast iron. We like the Lodge Logic Square Grill Pan!
No one has ever said a man was an orange. RT @EatThisNotThat
"A man is not an orange. You can't eat the fruit and throw the peel away."
Catch Episode 3 of #modelemployee
tonight at 11pm!!! Only on @VH1
Check out the preview here! on.vh1.com/13G8CKZ #sharkattack
My TV just told me it's been on too long and shut itself off. Stop making me feel bad about myself you asshole jerk tv
Hey apparently bridesmaid dresses take time just a heads up if you're planning a wedding
If you're still fighting me on the toilet seat issue, go take it up with the girlfriend you don't have.