you look like you're wanted for something and it's sure not sex. RT @olsonmr
sorry your show sucks. Wahhhhh
oh i am sooooo sorry you can't function like a normal human being when there are tweets not about basketball on your timeline fucking wahhh
fact: there are 89,673 ways to spell "brittney"
I don't know where Shark's anus is? #ModelEmployee
i cried when @aspenbrandylea
cried. i have feelings. my heart is slate gray, not black.
i cannot properly say the only word i had to say every single episode: "deliberation".
i would have stuck my finger in a shark's anus before I would ever cut the heads off frozen, pregnant rats. #modelemployee
i was just gonna talk about the sharks but i typed shart and now who cares because shart is hilarious fuck sharks
i would like to announce that i chose my dress based on the fact that it was wetsuit material because i am extremely clever #modelemployee
starts in a few minutes homies! Grab some wine but probably not red -- you'll see....
Ugh thought I just made this up myself. Bummed now. pic.twitter.com/s7e6yOmSo4
welcome to the 24/7 party that is JewelTV
Fox Sports has hired @andyroddick
to work as a broadcaster on @FoxSports1
. Roddick talks to @SInow
abt. his new gig: bit.ly/10kOgJO
I can't unsee this. RT @BuzzFeed
: CAT BEARDING pic.twitter.com/YvZHDrPBdY
#paid #spon #hateyou #lovethatpan
nothing handles heat as well as cast iron. We like the Lodge Logic Square Grill Pan!
No one has ever said a man was an orange. RT @EatThisNotThat
"A man is not an orange. You can't eat the fruit and throw the peel away."
Catch Episode 3 of #modelemployee
tonight at 11pm!!! Only on @VH1
Check out the preview here! on.vh1.com/13G8CKZ #sharkattack
My TV just told me it's been on too long and shut itself off. Stop making me feel bad about myself you asshole jerk tv
Hey apparently bridesmaid dresses take time just a heads up if you're planning a wedding
If you're still fighting me on the toilet seat issue, go take it up with the girlfriend you don't have.
tonight!!! 11pm, @VH1
. Be there or be square-faced and hideous like me, as one of my wonderful followers told me today.
It. Belongs. Down. RT @Kelley2Sean
never heard of looking down before you sit? Don't you look at a park bench before you sit down?
It belongs down not for women, but for all.
Since there is clearly some confusion here on the toilet seat issue, let me state a simple fact: the seat. belongs. down.
I think I'm seriously gonna go to Amy's baking company guys. Looking up flights.
Hate when men ask why we don't leave the toilet seat UP for them. Because you don't fall into the effing toilet, smarties.
We should move the UN somewhere a little more awesome because the corner of 1st ave and 42nd is lame as fuck
I've never said "kick rocks" in my life I have no idea where I got it from I heard it on television and basically I'm 8 years old
This New York weather can kick rocks. Be cloudy. Be rainy. Be hot. Be humid. But NOT ALL AT ONCE PLEASE.
Yes, tis I you are seeing on taxi TV. I have made it and now I am retiring. Tweet you from del boca vista!
"double froms" are weird yet must be done.
I honestly think I first learned where babies come from from Spencer's Gifts.
My favorite food on this beautiful planet is fried chicken. And risotto. And scalloped potatoes. Oh baby.
enough stereotyping. EVERYBODY LIKES FRIED CHICKEN.
I bet the bubblicious ppl can make the flavor last longer but don't because then we chew more pieces they're like shady docs but delicious
This is the best vine ever vine.co/v/bEYZdetnbnK
why can't we get drunk and crave salads
Well everyone fucking knew it was Gif. That's like being like "it's pronounced Sunday not SOONday" got it thanks
I'm confused. Is it gif or jif slash I don't give a fuck I never say it out loud
Most think re-aw-na, I'd say. RT @Erica_Gallipoli
how did you think Rihanna was pronounced?
Lol assholes RT @vohit4rohit
: Nutella tells its biggest fan and founder of Nutella Day to go fuck herself bit.ly/Zbsz00
Mom, on Oprah: RT @Pepperthai2
chrissy said mom you have to keep your bathroom clean ok? U never know who gonna come over now I get it!
What does this mean RT @ThisNBAgirl
What are you?
The only other man I see as much as john is now on twitter: @hassanksmith
...he is family so treat him well, you psychos
well that settles it. thrissy is definitely doing this.
anyone botox'ed their armpits to stop sweating? my friend thrissy is very curious to know if this really works.
I don't mind flying, I mind the airport.
I keep crying tears of fatigue. Full on crying then nothing. Like a tiny baby except I am 27 years old.